I got sent an AI search optimisation audit that cost a business thousands of pounds. It was beautifully presented, full of charts and graphs, and packed with confident recommendations about AI citations and ChatGPT visibility.

It also missed a whole BUNCH of stuff.

Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about: an audit that recommended deleting pages that were actively driving real traffic from Google — because a proprietary AI visibility tool said they weren't getting ChatGPT citations.

I'll break down exactly why this kind of audit is dangerous, not just useless, and what the businesses being sold this stuff actually need to know.

I cover what a real audit should include, why Google organic traffic still dwarfs AI referral traffic for most sites, and the red flags to watch for before you hand over your budget to someone flogging "proprietary AI search tools".

If you've been pitched an AI search audit — or you're tempted — listen to this first.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Have you been had by an AI search audit?

00:54 What happened: The audit I was sent

01:43 What the audit missed — 462 errors, redirect chains, and more

02:20 The analytics data they ignored: Google vs ChatGPT traffic

03:42 The dangerous advice: deleting pages that were actually working

05:00 Why this makes me so f&%king angry

06:24 The fix: check your numbers

08:17 Red flags to watch for before you pay for any AI SEO audit

Mentioned in this episode:

ICN Network

I'm sick of business owners coming to me convinced their competitors have some secret SEO strategy. They don't. You're just making it ridiculously easy for them to beat you by ignoring the fundamentals on your own website.

Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about:

1. The 7 most common ways you're sabotaging your own SEO (I guarantee at least three apply to you)
2. Why your homepage title saying "Home" makes you invisible to Google
3. How your 50-word service pages are getting destroyed by competitors who bothered to write 800 words
4. The Google Business Profile mistakes that hand free visibility to everyone else
5. Why your site loading slower than a wet weekend is killing your rankings
6. A 30-minute self-audit you can do today to fix the obvious stuff

The uncomfortable truth: Your competitor's website probably isn't that impressive. They've just done the basics - proper page titles, decent content, a filled-in Google Business Profile, and a site that actually works on mobile. That's it. No magic formula. Just competent execution of SEO fundamentals that you haven't got around to yet.

I've been in SEO for over 30 years, and I help businesses make money from their websites by getting found in search. This episode is your wake-up call to stop stalking your competitors' websites and start fixing your own.

Stop blaming your competitors. Fix your own shit first.

00:00 - Introduction: The Real Reason You're Losing at SEO

02:05 - Common SEO Mistakes Sabotaging Your Success

02:28 - Mistake #1: Your Meta Titles Are Useless

03:10 - Mistake #2: Your Service Pages Are Thinner Than an Over-Filtered Influencer

04:00 - Mistake #3: You've Got No Internal Links

04:40 - Mistake #4: Your Google Business Profile Is a Ghost Town

05:20 - Mistake #5: Your Site Is Slower Than a Wet Weekend

06:00 - Mistake #6: Your Mobile Experience Is Atrocious

06:40 - Mistake #7: You've Got Broken Shit Everywhere

07:20 - Why We Focus on Competitors Instead of Our Own Sites

08:22 - How to Fix Your SEO Issues: The 30-Minute Self-Audit

09:00 - Step 1: Check Your Page Titles

09:40 - Step 2: Check the Words on Your Key Pages

10:10 - Step 3: Click Every Link on Your Site

10:40 - Step 4: Load Your Site on Your Phone

11:00 - Step 5: Check Your Google Business Profile

11:30 - Step 6: Look at Your Internal Links

12:10 - Step 7: Search for Yourself on Google

12:40 - Stop Looking Over the Fence

13:47 - Final Thoughts and Actionable Steps

If you want straight-talk SEO without the jargon, follow SEO F**king What.

More episodes here:

https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/

Most businesses aren’t bad at blogging because they’re lazy.

They’re bad at blogging because no one ever told them what blogs are actually for.

Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about one of the biggest SEO mistakes I see every single week.

Business blogs that read like diaries, newsletters, or internal updates… and then the owner wonders why Google ignores them.

This is the episode your marketing agency probably won’t volunteer to send you.

Because it explains why “blog regularly” was never enough, and how years of well-meaning content can actually f**k up your site instead of helping it.

In this episode, I cover:

Why most business blogs get no traffic at all

Why Google can tell when you’re writing for yourself, not searchers

The types of blog posts nobody is actually Googling

How thin, self-serving content hurts your whole site

What crawl budget is and why it matters

How to choose blog topics people are genuinely searching for

Why keyword research isn’t optional

When to rewrite old posts and when to delete them

Where company news should live if you still want to share it

If you’ve been blogging for months or years and seeing nothing come from it, listen to this.

If your blog is full of “exciting news”, “reflections”, or “a message from the CEO”, listen to this.

And if you’re about to publish another post nobody asked for, definitely listen to this.

Share this with whoever writes your blog.

Share it with your marketing manager.

Share it with anyone about to hit publish on “Reflections on a Wonderful Q1”.

00:00 Why your blog isn’t content

01:50 The diary blog problem

03:50 How bad blogs hurt your whole site

06:11 What to do instead

07:20 Matching search intent

08:05 Answering the actual question

09:42 Audit, rewrite, or delete

11:22 When company news is OK

12:20 Final reality check

If you want straight-talk SEO without the fluff, follow SEO F**king What.

More episodes here:

https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/

Mentioned in this episode:

ICN Network

Most businesses aren’t confused about SEO because it’s complicated.

They’re confused because the industry keeps inventing new acronyms and pretending the rules have changed.

Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about... well let's be honest... I'm having a bit of a rant. And it's a rant that you need to hear if you've fallen into the same trap I've seen some other SEOs fall into recently.

This is the episode your favourite SEO hustle bro probably doesn’t want you to hear.

GEO isn’t a new discipline.

It’s SEO with a new acronym and a higher invoice.

In this episode, I cover:

Why SEOs are adding GEO to their headlines even when their skills haven’t changed

Why “AI optimisation” isn’t meaningfully different from good SEO

What Google has already confirmed about AI search

How buzzwords validate inflated pricing and bad behaviour

Why playing along makes it harder for clients to tell who actually knows what they’re doing

Why honesty builds trust, even when it costs you work

If you’re an SEO feeling pressured to add GEO to your profile just to compete, listen to this.

If you’re a business owner wondering why suddenly everything costs more for the “same” SEO, listen to this.

And if you’re about to pay someone extra because they stuck three new letters in their headline, definitely listen to this.

Share this with your SEO mates.

Share it with a business owner who’s being sold magic.

Share it with anyone who’s about to pay more money for the same work.

00:00 “Why Adding GEO Is Making Things Worse”

01:25 Losing work to buzzwords

03:20 What Google has already confirmed

04:45 Why SEOs playing along is a problem

06:35 The uncomfortable truth

08:16 How the SEO industry created this mess

09:40 Why I’m not adding GEO

If you want straight-talk SEO without the jargon, follow SEO F**king What.

More episodes here:

https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/

Most businesses don’t lose their traffic because SEO “stopped working”.

They lose it because someone redesigned the website and didn’t know what they were doing.

Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I’m talking about website migrations, redesigns, domain changes, and how businesses accidentally torch years of SEO in a single launch.

This is the episode your controlling web developer probably doesn’t want you to hear.

In this episode, I cover:

Why website migrations go wrong so often

Why developers are not SEO specialists (and why that matters)

How URL changes wipe out rankings overnight

What 301 redirects are actually for and how people mess them up

Why missing metadata quietly kills performance

How to tell Google you’ve changed domain properly

What to do if you’ve already launched and everything’s gone a bit tits up

If you’re planning a website redesign, changing platforms, moving from .co.uk to .com, or touching your URLs in any way, listen to this before you launch.

If you’ve already launched and your traffic has fallen off a cliff, this will help you work out what’s broken and how to fix it.

Share this with your web developer.

Share it with your marketing manager.

Share it with anyone who’s about to make a very expensive mistake.

00:00 "Your Developer Is Not Your SEO Team"

01:49 "Why Website Migrations Go Wrong"

05:00 "A Real SEO Disaster Story"

06:47 "What Happens When You Mess It Up"

08:11 "How to Migrate a Website Properly"

12:10 "Fixing a Broken Migration"

If you want better results from your SEO and you don’t want to be firefighting disasters like this, I offer SEO supervision, training, and support for businesses and teams – https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training-and-development-uk/

Want more episodes?

https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/

Most small business owners don’t fail at SEO.

They get confused, overwhelmed, or quietly ripped off.

Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, which is part two of a two parter, I’m letting you know what a good SEO person looks like in terms of their offers.

What SEO really costs in the UK, how long it takes to work, and how to spot legitimate professionals from cowboys.

No jargon.

No “it depends” nonsense.

No magical promises.

In this episode, I cover:

1. What proper SEO services should include (and what’s usually a waste of money)
2. How good SEOs explain their work without hiding behind acronyms
3. Why rankings don’t pay your mortgage, but revenue does
4. Realistic SEO pricing for small businesses and ecommerce sites
5. Honest timelines for technical fixes, content, and results
6. How to avoid dependency and find SEO help you can actually trust

If you’re about to hire an SEO, already paying one, or wondering why results don’t match the promises, this episode could save you a lot of money and frustration.

If you haven’t listened to part one yet, go back and start there first.

And if this helps, please share it with someone who’s about to sign an SEO contract.

00:00 "Good SEO: Clarity Over Jargon"

04:03 "SEO That Drives Real Results"

08:42 "SEO Timelines Simplified"

12:18 "SEO: Consistent, Methodical Work"

This episode is all about helping you identify a decent SEO person from a scammer. But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner, and I offer supervision and set up of these kinds of arrangements as a service - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training-and-development-uk/

Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/

Ever been quoted some ridiculous SEO retainer and thought… hang on, what the f**k am I actually paying for? Yeah. Same as lots of my clients. And honestly, I’m tired of watching small businesses get fleeced by agencies who talk a big game but can’t explain a single thing they’re doing.

Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m breaking down the biggest red flags in SEO.

Guaranteed rankings. “Secret” methodologies. Vague contracts. The lot.

If you’ve ever felt stupid for falling for any of this, don’t. These people are professionals at sounding credible while delivering absolutely nothing.

By the end, you’ll know exactly what questions to ask, what bullshit to ignore, and how to spot an SEO that’s more scammer than specialist.

Part two is coming next week, where I’ll show you what good SEO should actually look like (and what it should cost). But for now, let’s make sure you stop handing your hard-earned money to chancers.

If you’ve got questions, come yell at me on LinkedIn or drop me an email. I don’t bite… unless you promise “guaranteed rankings.”

00:00 "Protecting Small Businesses in SEO"

04:03 Vague SEO Contracts Warning

09:27 Avoid SEO Shortcuts

10:21 SEO: Hard Work, Real Experts

This episode is all about helping you ensure your SEO isn't a red flag waving scammer. But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner, and I offer supervision and set up of these kinds of arrangements as a service - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training-and-development-uk/

Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/

I’ve lost count of the businesses that hire an SEO expert, pay good money, and then make it impossible for us to actually do the job.

Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m calling out the ridiculousness I sometimes see when a business hires an SEO. Not you. You wouldn't do any of this, I'm sure. But we'll explore some of the absolute sh*ttery that can go down when one of us SEO experts gets hired by someone who doesn't understand what our role in their business actually is!

If you want fluffy LinkedIn advice, this isn’t the show for you.

But if you’re ready to stop sabotaging your own results and work with an SEO like a grown-up, hit play.

This one might sting a bit — but it’ll make you money, which is all I f**king care about.

00:00 Freelancing Isn't Remote Employment

04:26 Clients Restricting Access Harms Results

09:00 Empower Your SEO Expert

10:45 Respect Freelancers for Better Results

This episode is all about helping you ensure your SEO is equipped to do their job properly.

But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner, and I offer supervision and set up of these kinds of arrangements as a service - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training-and-development-uk/

Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/