Nearly one in five teachers in England has been hit by a pupil this year, according to a BBC survey.

But it's not just in England. Stricter school discipline is making a comeback to Australian classrooms in a bid to help teachers stamp out disruptive behaviour. France is bringing back school uniforms to tackle the issue, and in America, more than 70% of 1,000 educators said in a recent national survey that students are misbehaving more now than they did before the pandemic in 2019.

Meanwhile, teachers are leaving the profession faster than they're joining in the UK, and school avoidance rates are at an all-time high. It's a complex issue that Simon Currigan talks about a lot on his podcast, School Behaviour Secrets.

In this conversation he gives us his version of what's happening, gives us a top tip on how to deal with a teen when they've lost control, the importance of asking why... at least five times, and gives us a framework for understanding school avoidance.

NOTES TO SUPPORT THE PODCAST:
SEND - Special Educational Needs and Disability
SEMH - Social Emotional Mental Health needs; part of SEND

EMOTION COACHING:

• Empathise with their position - connection before correction.
• Boundaries based on values.
• Problem-solving - get them to engage in coming up with solutions.

The Toyota Five

RAIDED framework for understanding school avoidance:

• Relationship problem
• Anxiety
• Identity - what do people like me do in a situation like this?
• Direction - where they are focusing so it can be a desire to be out of school because of what's happening at home.
• Environment - is the school too overstimulating or do they have sensory needs?
• Dislocation - do they feel unwelcome in the school community, as if they don't belong.

Support the Show.

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Neither of us has medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Rachel’s email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
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Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

86: My aunt and uncle provide a huge amount of free childcare so that their son and daughter-in-law can work, but many say that's not been their experience. The Boomers have become notorious as a generation who are known to have reaped the rewards of the post-war boom but who appear to be more interested in travelling and enjoying themselves than supporting the next generation in their child-rearing struggles.

Having a living parent who's 65 or older whilst raising a child under 18 is Pew Research's definition of someone in the Sandwich Generation. Being a Sandwich Generation parent in an ailing economy, means being pulled in many directions at the same time.

Pew says 'not only do many provide care and financial support to their parents and their children, but nearly four-in-ten (38%) say both their grown children and their parents rely on them for emotional support.'

In this episode we talk about the trials of the Sandwich Generation, and it's rather more nuanced than the headlines make it sound. We discuss how important it is for us all to build community, to have open discussions about our needs and expectations, and to live in the season of our life.

GENERATION: PEW RESEARCH DEFINITION

• Gen Z – 1997 – 2012
• Millennials were born between 1981 and 1996
• Gen X were born between 1965 and 1980
• Boomers can be broken into two segments (Beresford research) – the first is 1946 and 1954 and the second is 1955-1964
• And the Silent Generation who were born between 1928 and 1945

RESOURCES USED:
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/01/30/the-sandwich-generation/#:~:text=A%20Profile%20of%20the%20Sandwich,are%20pulled%20in%20many%20directions.
https://www.newsweek.com/who-are-sandwich-generation-children-caring-parents-1778400
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/s/sandwichgeneration.asp#:~:text=The%20sandwich%20generation%2C%20in%20the,%2C%20adult%20children%2C%20and%20grandchildren.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandwich_generation#Development_of_the_concept_and_definition
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210128-why-the-sandwich-generation-is-so-stressed-out
https://www.washingtonpost.com/parenting/2023/03/22/caregivers-sandwich-generation/

Support the Show.

Thanks for listening.

Neither of us has medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Rachel’s email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/



Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

85: Nobody likes making mistakes, but some of us find it much harder than others. Whilst most of us look on with admiration at the kid who's prepared to keep working until they do things perfectly, underlying that drive can be a painful belief that they're never going to be good enough. The knock-on effect can be a lifetime of anguish and all sorts of issues with starting and finishing projects.

So when our listener asked us to talk about how to help her daughter who's showing signs of being a perfectionist, we bumped it up our schedule.

In essence, we parents need to strive to avoid black and white thinking and find the middle path; a growth mindset that welcomes mistakes as an opportunity to learn, and the resilience to use those mistakes to try again.

BOOKS:

• Perfectionism: What's Bad about Being Too Good? by Miriam Adderholdt-Elliott, Miriam Elliott, & Jan Goldberg (Monarch Books)
• When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism by Martin M. Antony & Richard P. Swinson (New Harbinger Publications)
• When Good Enough Isn't Good Enough: The Real Deal on Perfectionism by Thomas S., Ph.D. Greenspon (Free Spirit Publishing)

A lot of the research for this episode was drawn from an article by Amy Morin, the speaker who made 'The secret to becoming mentally strong. '

SOURCES:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2017/06/25/9-signs-youre-a-perfectionist-and-thats-not-a-good-thing/
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/young-adult/Pages/What-Fuels-Perfectionism.asp
https://www.verywellfamily.com/what-to-do-when-your-child-is-a-perfectionist-4147432

ANXIETY PDF:
//www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/OvercomingPerfectionism.pdf

Support the Show.

Thanks for listening.

Neither of us has medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Rachel’s email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/



Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk