What does it mean to have a close friendship in adulthood? How important is history in a friendship? What does (realistic) quality time with a friend look like when you're no longer in school?

Therapist and podcast host, Jazzmyn Proctor, joins me to bust some of the most common myths she sees in her work with clients. This conversation offers a grounded, kind, and honest look at how we can rethink what adult friendship should look like.

WE DISCUSS:

• Why depth doesn’t equal frequency—and what actually builds emotional closeness
• How to let quality time evolve in your adult life instead of trying to recreate the past
• The trap of overvaluing history in friendships
• Why the phrase “no new friends” might be holding you back
• When “friendship takes work” goes too far
• The often-discussed "trio problem" gets a mention!

MEET JAZZMYN PROCTOR

Meet Jazzmyn Proctor—your go-to therapist and the powerhouse host of the All Our Parts podcast! Jazzmyn is all about helping you find your vibe, face life’s curveballs, and come out stronger. From navigating the highs and lows of love and relationships to embracing self-discovery and smashing through obstacles, she’s here to hype you up every step of the way.

She knows that everyone’s journey is unique, and her mission? To help you unlock your full potential and level up your mental health game. So, if you're ready to live your best life, hit play on All Our Parts and let Jazzmyn guide you straight to your happy place! Find Jazzmyn on Instagram @healingwithjazzmyn and TikTok too!

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

In this milestone 150th episode of Dear Nina, we’re diving deep into friendship and community with siblings and co-directors Rebecca Davis and Pete Davis, the team behind the Netflix documentary Join or Die: A film about why you should join a club and why the fate of America depends on it.

Inspired by the groundbreaking work of political scientist Robert Putnam (Bowling Alone), Join or Die explores the powerful link between social connection, the health of our democracy, and our mental and physical health on an individual level.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, isolated, or unsure where to begin when it comes to finding your people and more meaning in your life, this episode is a place to start.

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Why so many people feel they don’t have enough friends or diverse friendships.
• The difference between community and friendship--and why we need both.
• What “social capital” actually means and why it affects everything from your mental health to the quality of your local government.
• Why loneliness isn’t just a personal issue, it’s a civic one.
• How we went from a culture of joiners to one of solo scrollers, and how we can change that.
• Practical tips on joining or starting something meaningful, even if you're intimidated.

LINKS & RESOURCES

• Watch the film: Join or Die
• Host a screening in your community! Find out how on the film’s website.
• Listen to previous episode mentioned #135: The Hyperlocal Friendship Challenge
• Also #138: The Neighborhood Village and How Community is Different From Friendship: with Seth D. Kaplan

Meet Rebecca Davis & Pete Davis, co-directors and co-producers

Rebecca Davis was a senior producer with NBC News for nearly a decade, where her work focused on social movements, environmental and economic justice, and community innovators.

Pete Davis is a writer and civic advocate and a former student of Robert Putnam's. He is the author of Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in An Age of Infinite Browsing. He is the co-founder of the Democracy Policy Network, a policy organization focused on raising up ideas that deepen democracy.

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

Welcome to the Dear Nina Friendship Challenge for June: Ask a friend for a favor.

Why? Asking a friend for a favor demonstrates trust and intimacy. It helps your friend feel closer to you merely because you asked, and this will strengthen the friendship. Unfortunately, people really struggle asking for help, even for the smallest of favors. This month I want you to practice this important skill!

I also ask you to consider if you struggle asking friends for help because you're afraid people will then ask you for help. That's how friendship works! We have to be inconvenienced sometimes for friends and community, which is good for relationships AND for society.

I packed a lot into a 12-minute episode. I hope you'll join me in the June Dear Nina Friendship Challenge.

LINKS & RESOURCES

• Join the Dear Nina Facebook Community to discuss wins and struggles from all the monthly challenges.
• Previous Monthly Challenges (Jan–May 2025) are all linked at dearnina.substack.com.
• The episode I mentioned with Gretchen Rubin

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.