too long (no pun)

I got really tired of it and couldn't keep listening after I realized that it was significantly longer than the one from women's fantasies. It went from being a guilty pleasure I'd listen to on the train, grinning because nobody knew what dirty things where being played in my ear. To feeling like a chore that I was doing because I should and not because I want to. It also in those however many hours actually failed to make me feel better about my own weird fantasy because not a single guy in all those hours of listening described anything similar to what I have been ashamed of and would never tell even my closest buddy or lover. so it failed it's objective as well.