The Session: The Energy Vampire, by Dr. Mosunic

Psalm 29:11

May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless his people with peace!

First, let’s define the energy vampire…bleh bleh bleh

Different types of energy vampires?

Energy vampires are people who suck the energy right out of you. After talking to them, you feel exhausted and are not real sure why.

Dr. Mosunic would say that energy vampires are the type of person who constantly demands your attention, support, or empathy, oftentimes without realizing it. The effects of being around an energy vampire is more than just feeling a bit tired after a long chat. It's about feeling constantly worn out, stressed, or even sad after your interactions with them.

Different types of energy vampires

The Victim

This type of energy vampire is always encountering problems and seeking sympathy. They often see themselves as perpetually wronged by life and share their woes frequently, expecting constant support and reassurance.

The Criticizer

The criticizer is quick to point out flaws and rarely has anything positive to say. Whether it's about your choices or general aspects of life, their constant criticism can chip away at your confidence and leave you feeling judged and inadequate.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

The Dramatizer

The dramatizer’s need for drama can create an atmosphere of tension and unrest. They are capable of blowing things out of proportion to keep the center of attention.

• They tell the worst-case scenario for attention and acceptance

The Blamer

Blamers have a habit of holding others responsible for their own problems. They struggle to take accountability for their actions and often find someone else to point fingers at

• Blame has a job description. It keeps the fuels of anger alive, and it shifts responsibility to take care of it to the person they are angry at.

The Manipulator

Manipulators are skilled in using emotional tactics to get what they want. They might use guilt, pity, or flattery, making it challenging to discern their true intentions.

• The all too powerful guilt trip

How to spot an emotional vampire: 4 signs

They Need to Be The Center Of Attention

• They are capable of interrupting conversations and driving them back to themselves
• Their constant need for attention can be very draining

They exaggerate problems

• Sarcasm is their friend. They are very capable of blowing things out of proportion.

They blame others constantly

• They refuse to take responsibility for their issues.
• Their toxicity is very toxic on their environment where people don’t want to work.
• The Locus of Control isn’t in them

They use people

They are masterful at manipulating people and situations to their advantage

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Family Issues

Psalm 133:1

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!"

Family issues are when an actual or potential conflict between or related to family members becomes a constant source of negative emotions.

• When a family cannot resolve conflicts and and emotional intensity around the relationship becomes overwhelming, it can lead to symptoms of common mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.

What Are Some Symptoms Of Family Issues?

From Pew Research Center

• Anxiety or worry: You may be frequently preoccupied with concerns about your family and struggle to focus on other things. Over an extended period, this can translate into mental health issues.
• Sadness or depression: Feelings of tension, conflict, or disconnection from your family might make you feel sad or hopeless.
• General stress: You may have trouble sleeping or experience physical symptoms including muscle tension, headaches, and digestive troubles, often time due to family worries like financial troubles or other money problems, or the inability to resolve conflicts in your own home.
• Conflicts with other loved ones: If a relationship with one person is upsetting you, you might find that issues also come up with other people you’re close to. For example, tension with a parent might make you more sensitive in your relationship with your partner. Or differences between parenting styles may affect healthy communication within the family as a whole.
• Low self-esteem: Feeling insecure or threatened within a relationship that means a lot to you can make you doubt yourself and your worth. It can lead to feelings of inferiority
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Different Kinds of Conflict

Parent/child conflict:

• Parents often play such a large part in our earliest development, issues between parents and children can be especially emotional and deeply rooted.

Issues with siblings:

• Competition, comparison, different relational styles: all of these (and many other factors) can lead to conflict with siblings.

Communication Issues

• Communication issues: You don’t feel heard; you wonder whether the other person understands you; you struggle to say what you mean. These are all forms of communication issues, a common setback in many family relationships.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Causes of Family Stress, from Better Help

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1)

Parental relationship problems

• Constant parent fighting causes unnecessary and unproductive tension in children’s lives

Finances

• Job loss, inability to work, uncontrolled spending, gambling problems, or another reason, stress and conflict related to money and bills is common.

Health Conditions

• When one or more family members is experiencing a health challenge—from a chronic physical condition to a mental illness to a disability

Toxic behaviors between family members

• Sometimes, stress or dysfunction in a family can be traced primarily to the toxic behaviors of one member. For example, someone who frequently engages in manipulation tactics, dishonesty, scapegoating, or similar behaviors can be extremely difficult or even dangerous to live with. These can be personality traits or signs of certain personality disorders.

Unaddressed trauma related to family issues

• In most cases, trauma that has not been effectively and healthily recognized, processed, and healed will cause issues in a person’s life in some way. A family unit that experiences trauma together—such as war, a natural disaster, or the sudden death of a loved one.

Unhealthy expectations

• Family members who feel pressure to conform to unhealthy and/or impossible standards may experience negative effects as a result. For example, a household where each child is expected to perform perfectly in school, never express negative emotions, or never bring up conflict can eventually cause them to disengage or lash out.

Too much or too little time together

• On the other hand, families that are so busy or live so far apart that they rarely get to spend quality time together could also end up experiencing conflict.

Poor or nonexistent communication

• Healthy, honest, frequent communication is widely considered to be the foundation of healthy relationships of all types. Families without it are likely to experience recurrent conflict as issues that arise may not be properly addressed and members may not feel heard.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.