Couverture de The Executive Woman

The Executive Woman

The Executive Woman

De : Barbie Winterbottom
Écouter gratuitement

À propos de cette écoute

 Authentic conversations for women who are done with superficial corporate speak and want real connection, resources and community. The world of work has evolved in many ways, yet women are still facing challenges most believe have been conquered. We talk about things like, Burnout, Aging at Work, Executive Isolation, What's my Next Chapter and the Female Tax. We don't shy away from the hard conversations...we are Executive Women and we mean business!2023 Economie Relations Réussite personnelle Sciences sociales
Les membres Amazon Prime bénéficient automatiquement de 2 livres audio offerts chez Audible.

Vous êtes membre Amazon Prime ?

Bénéficiez automatiquement de 2 livres audio offerts.
Bonne écoute !
    Épisodes
    • Letting Go

      Letting Go
      Mar 27 2023
      The other day I posted on my social media channels an image I created showing 5 Things to stop doing TODAY.  There were a lot of comments from Women especially who felt seen in the examples I shared and in the “5 Things”. To give you some context, the 5 things to stop doing today are…      1.   STOP Being “nice” vs setting boundaries    2.   STOP Comparing yourself to others    3.   STOP Letting fear make decisions for you    4.   STOP Accepting less than you deserve    5.   STOP Allowing what happened TO you to define you Reading through the comments I started thinking about the whole concept of stopping something or “Letting Go” and how it’s so easy to say and so hard to do, even when we WANT to, it’s not always as simple as we would like it to be. I want to dive into each one of these areas, and how it’s shown up in my life, the lives of so many Executive Women I have interviewed over the years, and perhaps even your life and what we can do to start letting go of these habits & behaviors that are not serving us. Going deep into each one of these would make for a very long podcast, and likely one where you might start nodding off, (I know with my attention span, I need things in bite sized increments) so I’m going to address each one individually over the next 5 episodes.  But first, today, I want to talk about why letting go of old habits and patterns can be so hard for us.  I did some research, because that’s what I do, I research everything and I know how hard I struggle to let go of things at times, especially when it means I am the one who has to change!   I don’t know about you, but one thing I’ve learned about myself is that I can be incredibly stubborn and as soon as I think someone is imposing change ON ME, and it’s not something I freely want to do, I can be quite the force…even to my own detriment (ask my wife, she could tell you a lot of stories about how stubborn I can be!).  I’m not proud of this aspect of my behavior and I work on it daily and while I know I still have work to do, I have gotten much better than I used to be.    I have learned, typically the hard way through a lot of heartache, self-doubt and frustrations to step back and allow people to show me who they are vs seeing them for who I WANT them to be.  I have learned to set boundaries to protect my peace and for the most part I’ve let go of the past and live in the now.  I’m proud of these changes because for years I would accept bad behavior from others, hoping something would change.  I spent way too long questioning myself, my worth, my expectations and even my own sanity as a result of being treated poorly by others.  It was very hard for me to accept that whether their intentions were to hurt me or not didn’t really matter, it was their actions and how I felt that mattered.  I would accept bad behavior for a long, long time, and then something would happen, often something small and in the big scheme of things inconsequential but for whatever reason, in that moment, whatever they did or said pushed me just too far and that something finally triggered my brain, or my heart, and like a switch, I was done.  Something just clicks and then, there is no going back.  I tend to be all in on something or all out, I’m not saying this is a good thing, I’m just being transparent.  I know myself pretty well at this point, and I know there isn’t much about me that’s tepid, and change is no different. Change can be really hard, and making a change means we are letting go of someone, something or a framework that for some reason we have held onto.  Somewhere deep in the those dark, often scary places of our minds and hearts we know the change is needed, and yet, there is something keeping us tied to our current situation or mindset.  For me, I think it was often hard for me to let go because I felt like I was the failure and to acknowledge that I had yet again had a failed relationship meant there was something wrong with ME. We stay in bad relationships, we continue to work for toxic bosses, we open ourselves up to disappointment and hurt over and over and we while WANT it to be different, we often stay right where we are.  But why?  Why do we do this to ourselves?  I want to reiterate…I am NOT a therapist or a licensed mental health provider, but I have lived, and I have experienced some things…and I observe and I am a lifelong student of the world, and here are some things I believe to be true… 1.   Living in the Past is easier…for people who don’t like change, living in the past or repeating patterns of past behaviors and outcomes feels safe, even if it’s harming them in the present, there is a certain safety in the pattern.  The predictability feels familiar and provides a false sense of control.    Abusive relationships don’t typically start out as abusive.  Think about romantic partners, bosses, friends and even ...
      Afficher plus Afficher moins
      36 min
    • Hero or Villain?

      Hero or Villain?
      Mar 14 2023
      The hero or villain…often depends on perspective.   So much of what we believe and hold to be truth is passed down to us from our parents, grandparents, friends, siblings and the stories we are told.  The beauty in story is that it helps our brains conceptualize, and our emotions connect and therefore we remember and internalize the information in deeper more meaningful ways, especially when we see ourselves reflected in the story.   As a kid, I loved, I mean LOVED the movie The Wizard of Oz.  I loved the music, the vibrant colors and of course, Dorothy’s sparkly shoes. I’m fairly certain it was this movie that was the impetus of my love for, and some say, addiction to beautiful shoes.    I thought the Wizard was a truly benevolent man who found himself in a foreign land and did his best to help the people of Oz, and even in his flawed attempt at being the Great and Powerful Oz, ended up being kind and helping each one of Dorothy’s troupe and even though he wasn’t able to get Dorothy home, he tried his best and was endearing.   As I watched The Wizard of Oz year after year, I started to see the Wizard differently.  I began to realize he wasn’t who I believed him to be for so many years.  I saw through his tricks, the illusions and that he was a fraud…but even then, I didn’t see him a straight up BAD person, just one who tried to make his way in a foreign land and WANTED to be good, but had somehow lost his way…   and THEN I saw Wicked.  If you haven’t seen Wicked, it’s the Broadway musical, based on the book, Wicked, published in 1995, written by Gregory Maguire and is the prequel or origin story of the two witches in the Wizard of Oz, Elphaba, The Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda, The Good Witch.  Wicked shows us how these two young women meet at Shiz University and how their unlikely friendship develops.   If you’ve seen the Wizard of Oz, but have never seen Wicked you might still believe that Elphaba was the villain, and that the Wizard was the hero.  However, throughout Wicked, we learn about Elphaba, and all that happened to her.  Elphaba is an incredibly kind, compassionate, and caring young woman who, even while ostracized, bullied and tormented daily due to the color of her skin, uses her incredible magical powers to fight for justice for all who were being oppressed and silenced in Oz because they were “different” and challenged those in power.    At the end of Wicked, we learn the traveling salesman who had an affair with Elphaba’s mother, gave her the green elixir and put all these wheels in motion, had indeed, become, the Wizard of Oz.   The Wizard, was nothing more than a traveling salesman who landed in Oz, had no magical powers of his own and who, manipulated Elphaba, and everyone around him into creating the façade that he was “The All Knowing and Powerful Oz”.  Through his manipulation and conditioning, he created a world where everyone in Oz believed he was powerful, magical and benevolent.  He surrounded himself with those who would consistently tell him what he wanted to hear and who would reject and even harm, anyone or anything that challenged this paradigm.  The sycophants in the Wizards inner circle had positional power due to their proximity to the Wizard and because of their own insecurities, and desire for power, ensured everyone in Oz had just enough fear to remain compliant, while also trying to endear themselves to the Wizard by playing the role of blissfully happy, non-independent thinking citizens of Oz.  We also learn that the Wizard tricked Elphaba by making her think she was saving the monkeys, when in reality, the spell she used, made the monkeys sprout wings, thus creating his own flying spy network so the Wizard could keep watch on all the citizens of Oz.   So, why this walk down my childhood movie memory lane?  Well, the parallels between the Wizard of Oz and what I have experienced time after time as an Executive Woman, are incredibly similar, and I bet for many of you, too.   How many times have we started a new job, or been promoted and during the “honeymoon phase” we see our new boss or co-workers as kind, compassionate, benevolent and as someone who truly cares about our growth, success and well-being?  In our efforts to show them we are worthy, we jump through hoops, we believe them, we work late, we come in early, we skip lunches, work through weekends and do absolutely anything possible to show our value.    As time passes, we often ignore the subtle signs that perhaps they aren’t the person we thought they were. We turn a blind eye to the blatant signs in front of us.  We tell ourselves that they “didn’t really mean to embarrass me in that meeting”, or that they simply don’t understand how hurtful or degrading it is when our male co-worker gets promoted based on his “potential” while we, as women, have to wait until they are convinced of our merit before we are even ...
      Afficher plus Afficher moins
      24 min
    • Finding My Purpose

      Finding My Purpose
      Feb 28 2023
      I don’t know who will hear this, maybe no one but me, and really, that’s ok, it really is.   It’s taken me a lot of years to realize, in so many ways, I’ve been living my life in what I call “neutral”.  While neutral may not seem like a bad thing necessarily, as I shared in the Executive Woman newsletter, it’s not really a positive thing either.  When a car is in neutral, is rolls along according to the pitch of the road, following along whichever way it is propelled.  The car will gain speed when going downhill, lose speed while going uphill, possibly even causing the car to roll backward and depending on the car, you may or may not be able to stear it well while in neutral, which might land the car in precarious situations.    Well, this was me, for much of my life.  In many ways, rather than living my life fully and with intention, I simply rolled whichever way the road pitched, and sometimes it was great fun and other times, not so much.  I didn’t feel I had the power to choose a direction.  My life was more me reacting to some circumstances and working hard to avoid others.  I didn’t feel empowered to live my dreams, I had been conditioned to believe avoiding pain, chaos and fear and finding safety was my goal.  And while as a child, and an early adult, that is an absolute reality and a goal to be admired, at a certain point in time, we deserve and need more out of life all the while, our brains have been so influenced by our childhood journey’s we develop very strong fight, flight, flee and fawn responses, that we forget there is more, so much more.   On the outside looking in, this might seem surprising, if you know me or have worked with me, it might not make sense.  You see, I built a successful career, I even made it to the C-suite, which as we know, for women doesn’t come easily. I’ve done some traveling, which is a huge passion of mine.  I have an amazing wife and family who I love dearly, we are even in the midst of building our dream home, as I speak.  I am blessed to have some of the most supportive and loving friends I could ever hope to have and yet, as I reflect on my journey thus far, I can see so clearly how I have avoided taking bold steps, I’ve suppressed my talents, thoughts and ideas.  I’ve put my passions and desires on the back burner to stay in what I believed was a “safe-zone”.  I would take things just “so-far” before backing off out of fear.  I would become more and more isolated, and wore this as a badge of honor, thinking I didn’t need anyone, and that I was the only person I could actually rely on…man was I wrong!   I believed if I checked the boxes, hit the milestones and did the things, that somehow, I would feel fulfilled and my purpose would magically illuminate in front of me, like in the movies when a treasure hunter finally makes it through the many obstacles of a remote jungle, navigates through the darkness of the cave buried deep beneath the mountain and places the ancient key into the rugged piece of rock at just the right moment and suddenly the sunlight pierces through and the eyes of the statue start to glow, the entire cave lights up, the walls recede and massive hidden treasures are revealed.   Well, as you can imagine, as exciting as that sounds, it didn’t happen that way.  My revelation has been much slower, and as I continue to peel back the many layers of my life and lived experiences, I am discovering a burgeoning desire to strip away all the masks, doubts and bullshit I’ve either believed was my only reality or that I was conditioned to accept as a singular truth, and so telling my story is as much for me as it is for anyone who might hear it.   I am your host, Barbie Winterbottom, and the is The Executive Woman.   When deciding to launch this podcast, I had a very different plan in mind.  Well, actually, let’s rewind.  A few YEARS ago I had a plan to launch a podcast, but alas, I didn’t, not really, it felt too scary to do something so bold.  Who would want to listen to anything I have to say?  What is so ground-breaking about me and my story that anyone would care to listen?  I told myself story after story as to why it just wouldn’t work.  I did, however, launch a video-based interview program, which I truly enjoyed hosting, called The Table. With over 20 years in my Executive career in Human Resources, somehow this felt safer.  I would interview guests to share THEIR stories and experiences, all the while, I was safe and protected, not really sharing mine.  I interviewed some of the best and brightest minds working in HR and the People Space from around the world, executives, authors, leaders, and even a celebrity or two and we talked about all the many things related to the Workplace, People Strategy, DEI and more…and while, like I said, I did enjoy each and every session, I also felt like something was missing.  What was missing, was me.  I was hiding behind ...
      Afficher plus Afficher moins
      23 min
    Aucun commentaire pour le moment