In this episode, I explore the ideas from Wanting by Luke Burgis and why so many of us feel restless, dissatisfied, or perpetually chasing “the next thing,” even when our lives look good on paper.

I look at the concept of borrowed desire (mimesis), the difference between thin and thick desires, and how stress and nervous system dysregulation make it nearly impossible to know what we truly want.

This episode is especially for women who:

• feel stuck or disoriented after quitting drinking
• are high-achievers who’ve done “everything right” but still feel unfulfilled
• notice themselves chasing relief instead of meaning
• want a slower, more honest relationship with desire

We also explore scapegoating, why removing habits or people doesn’t always bring peace, and how creating safety in the nervous system is often the missing step in clarity, alignment, and real change.

If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why does nothing I want ever feel like enough?” — this conversation will meet you there.

Ways to continue the work:

🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration.

Free: The Complete Guide to Quitting Drinking .. a nervous-system-based guide for understanding cravings, stress, and stop/start cycles.

🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map — a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough.

Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com
Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone

If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here

What if ambition isn’t about wanting more, but about what you’re actually able to hold?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the Law of Ambition — a concept that really resonated when I heard it and it reshaped how I think about growth, money, leadership, and nervous system capacity for 2026.

I had already known some of the universal laws, like the Law of Attraction and the Law of Correspondence, but the Law of Ambition was new to me. It explained why ambition expands for some people and collapses for others, even when the desire is there.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What the Law of Ambition actually is (and what it’s not)
• Why ambition shrinks under stress, burnout, and dysregulation
• How your nervous system sets your “ambition ceiling”
• The difference between survival ambition and true, embodied ambition
• How to expand your capacity before chasing bigger goals
• Six grounded steps you can use to apply the Law of Ambition in your own life

This episode is for high-capacity women who feel called to more ... more ease, more money, more leadership, more alignment ... without burning themselves out in the process.

If ambition has felt inconsistent, heavy, or fragile lately, nothing has gone wrong. Your system may just be asking for safety before expansion.

Listen in to learn how to work with ambition instead of forcing it.

Ways to continue the work:

🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration.

Free: The Complete Guide to Quitting Drinking .. a nervous-system-based guide for understanding cravings, stress, and stop/start cycles.

🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map — a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough.

Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com
Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone

If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here

If self-improvement has started to feel exhausting instead of supportive, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I talk about why real change doesn’t come from breakthroughs, discipline, or trying harder, it comes from consistent, nervous-system-aligned practice. You’ll learn why insight alone doesn’t create lasting change, how the nervous system actually learns safety, and why so many women keep “starting over” even when they care deeply about growth.

This conversation is for high-capacity women who are tired of pushing, fixing, and optimizing themselves, and are craving steadiness, clarity, and a way of living that feels sustainable.

Inside this episode, we explore:

• Why nervous systems change through repetition, not insight
• The difference between coping and capacity
• Why motivation and willpower eventually fail
• How stress and self-override keep patterns in place
• The role of breathwork and regulation in lasting change
• How working with the physical, mental, emotional, and energetic bodies together creates integration

I also share the philosophy behind The Deliberate Practice — a nervous-system-aligned space designed to help women build steadiness, self-trust, and capacity over time, without pressure or performance.

This episode isn’t about fixing yourself.
It’s about practicing safety, until it becomes your default.

Ways to continue the work:

🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration.

Free: The Complete Guide to Quitting Drinking .. a nervous-system-based guide for understanding cravings, stress, and stop/start cycles.

🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map — a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough.

Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com
Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone

If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here

If you’ve done the therapy, changed the habits, and “done the work” but life still feels like it's a lot of 'work', heavy, or tight, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I explore why personal growth can stop working even when you’re doing everything right, through the lens of nervous system regulation and capacity. You’ll learn why effort and insight don’t automatically create ease, how self-override disguises itself as growth, and what’s actually happening in the body when progress feels stuck.

This conversation is for high-capacity women who are burned out on self-improvement, tired of white-knuckling their way forward, and craving steadiness instead of another breakthrough.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why “doing the work” can still feel exhausting
• The difference between effort and nervous system capacity
• How self-override keeps you stuck even after habits change
• Why rest doesn’t always restore
• What collapse actually means (and why it’s not failure)
• How regulation supports ease, clarity, and follow-through

This episode is not about fixing yourself.
It’s about understanding what your nervous system needs in order to feel safe holding the life you’ve already built.

Ways to continue the work:

🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration.

Free: The Complete Guide to Quitting Drinking .. a nervous-system-based guide for understanding cravings, stress, and stop/start cycles.

🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map — a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough.

Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com
Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone

If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here

If you’re high-functioning, capable, and holding a lot together, but quietly relying on alcohol or other coping habits to get through your days, this episode is for you.

I explore what happens when “it’s fine” actually isn’t, through a nervous system lens. You’ll learn why high-capacity women often use alcohol for relief, how stress and self-abandonment build over time, and why coping eventually stops working, even when life looks good from the outside.

This conversation is not about labels or rock bottom. It’s about understanding how chronic stress, productivity-as-worth, and nervous system dysregulation quietly shape behaviour and what your body is actually asking for instead.

In this episode, I cover:

• What it means to be a “high-functioning drinker”
• How alcohol becomes a nervous system permission slip
• The difference between coping and capacity
• Why stress drinking often escalates gradually
• How self-abandonment disguises itself as competence
• What supports regulation without white-knuckling

This episode is for women who are tired of surviving their own lives and ready to build relief, safety, and capacity, without forcing change.

Ways to continue the work:

🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration.

Free: The Complete Guide to Quitting Drinking .. a nervous-system-based guide for understanding cravings, stress, and stop/start cycles.

🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map — a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough.

Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com
Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone

If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here

If you quit drinking and feel more emotional, anxious, or dysregulated instead of better, you’re not alone and nothing has gone wrong.

In this episode, I explains why quitting alcohol can initially feel harder, not easier, through a nervous system lens. You’ll learn how alcohol acts as a form of stress regulation, why emotions and anxiety often intensify after quitting, and what your body is actually asking for during this phase of change.

This conversation is especially for women who are alcohol-free or sober-curious and navigating the emotional aftermath, feeling raw, unsettled, or unsure why relief hasn’t arrived yet.

Inside this episode:

• Why quitting drinking can increase anxiety and emotional sensitivity
• How alcohol numbs the nervous system and what happens when it’s removed
• The difference between dysregulation and failure
• Why white-knuckling sobriety often backfires
• What actually supports nervous system healing after alcohol

This episode is not about willpower or labels. It’s about understanding your body, building safety without numbing, and learning how to support yourself through the middle chapter of change.

Ways to continue the work:

🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration.

Free: The Complete Guide to Quitting Drinking .. a nervous-system-based guide for understanding cravings, stress, and stop/start cycles.

🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map — a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough.

Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com
Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone

If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here

Drinking, stress, and the nervous system’s role in the stop/start cycle...

On January 1, 2019, I told myself I was done drinking.

By January 4, I said fuck it and drank.

In this episode, I share the truth about the year my drinking quietly became a problem I couldn’t ignore, not through a dramatic rock bottom, but through a slow erosion of self-trust, safety, and standards.

I talk honestly about drinking every night, blackouts, and making decisions I wouldn’t make sober. About grief, stress, and why willpower alone kept me stuck in a stop/start cycle for years. And about the moment I realized alcohol wasn’t the real craving, relief was.

This conversation isn’t just about drinking.

It’s about why change is so hard to sustain, even when we want it bad.

I explore:

• Why the stop/start cycle is so common, especially for women
• How stress and the nervous system shape our capacity for change
• Why we default to comfort and familiarity, even when it hurts
• Why “just don’t drink” fails without regulation and support
• What actually changed when I quit drinking in January 2020, and why it finally held

Our nervous systems are wired for survival, not success.
So real change doesn’t come from trying harder, it comes from feeling safe enough to stay.

If you’re navigating change of any kind, drinking, boundaries, relationships, work, or rest, this episode is an invitation to understand yourself with more compassion and less blame.

Ways to continue the work:

🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration.

Free: The Complete Guide to Quitting Drinking .. a nervous-system-based guide for understanding cravings, stress, and stop/start cycles.

🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map — a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough.

Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com
Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone

If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here

So you want to quit drinking ... or maybe you’re still thinking about it.

In this episode, we explore why quitting drinking isn’t a single decision, but a change cycle and how understanding that cycle can remove shame, normalize stop–start patterns, and make lasting change possible.

We begin by breaking down the stages most people move through before quitting drinking, including making rules around alcohol, negotiating, taking breaks, and why willpower alone often fails. I share my own journey ... years of stop/start cycles between 2015 and 2019, a short quit in 2019, and why quitting for good in 2020 finally stuck when I added breathwork and nervous system healing.

From there, we walk through what actually happens after you stop drinking ... physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, and energetically, across:
• the first 30 days
• the 3-month mark (and why it often feels harder than the beginning)
• 6 months
• one year and beyond

We talk honestly about anxiety after quitting drinking, emotional overwhelm, identity shifts, changing relationships, energy returning, and what truly supports your nervous system when alcohol is no longer your coping mechanism.

This episode is for women who are sober, sober-curious, or stuck in contemplation and want a compassionate, body-based approach instead of shame, rules, or white-knuckling.

Because quitting drinking isn’t about discipline.
It’s about capacity.

Ways to continue the work:

🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration.

Free: The Complete Guide to Quitting Drinking .. a nervous-system-based guide for understanding cravings, stress, and stop/start cycles.

🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map — a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough.

Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com
Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone

If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here