Have you ever been in a season where you genuinely believe that God was with you, but everything around you looked like you wasn't? You prayed, you trusted, you read the word, you surrendered even. And yet, the storm kept getting louder. Sometimes we make the mistake of believing that if God is with us, there shouldn't be a storm. But scripture tells us something very different.

Looking back over the last decade and especially this past year I share some highlights of my healing journey in the hopes it will help those of you who are either contemplating a healing journey or are perhaps at the beginning or middle of your healing journey.

Today I want to speak on something pretty raw. something for me that I've experienced in the past year, and hopes that I can encourage other women and men as well, to avoid the pitfalls that come with dating and relationships. Now, in saying that, obviously, I am no expert on this topic. 
I have only recently understood and have actually practised what I have learned in my healing journey. And let me just say, it is not easy. Sometimes when you heal, right, you're gonna have to start doing things to practice that healing.

Confusion is often the fruit of manipulation.

It shows up when someone is saying one thing… and doing another.

When their words don’t match their actions.

When you’re being told you’re the problem… while you’re the one trying to make sense of everything.

This is what gaslighting does.

It slowly disconnects you from your reality.

You start second-guessing yourself.

You start over-explaining yourself.

You start apologizing for things you didn’t even do.

And over time… you lose clarity.

But here’s the truth:

God does not speak in chaos.

God’s voice brings peace—even when it corrects you.

God’s Spirit brings clarity—even when it’s uncomfortable.

Love bombing feels AMAZING at first. That's the trap. Your brain gets flooded with dopamine and you think you've found 'the one.'

But it's calculated manipulation designed to bypass your logical thinking. Here are the 8 red flags I wish I'd known.

A Breakdown of 9 Red Flags to watch for when getting to know someone.

The Connection to our childhood trauma and the importance to slow down when getting to know someone.

“Complex PTSD happens when someone has experienced repeated emotional or psychological trauma over a long period of time.

This can come from childhood abuse, narcissistic relationships, chronic gaslighting, or environments where you constantly felt unsafe.

What many people don’t realize is that trauma changes the nervous system.

Your brain becomes wired to scan for danger.

So when something feels even remotely similar to past abuse, your body reacts immediately.

Not with calm.

But with survival.

Victim Blaming: How Can we better assist Survivors of Abuse.

On Episode 5 on my podcast I share some insightful tips how to help survivors of abuse and some of the costs of victim blaming.

What victim blaming creates:

~False guilt

~Toxic shame

~Self-doubt

~Delayed healing

~Nervous system dysregulation

Beloved, You did NOT choose the abuse.

You chose a person who did not reveal their true nature. NO ONE consents to deception.

If you find this podcast helpful or know someone who could benefit from it PLEASE share it with them. Link in BIO listen on Apple or Spotify.

If you are a survivor of domestic violence or any other type of abuse; my heart is with you and YOU ARE WORTHY of love!

Today we’re talking about something many survivors feel, but don’t have language for enmeshment.

Enmeshment is not love.

It feels like love at first… but it slowly erases you.

If you’ve ever felt like someone’s mood controlled your peace,

If you’ve lost clarity, boundaries, or your sense of self in a connection,

If walking away felt like losing oxygen

This episode is for you.

We’re going to talk about what enmeshment is, why it happens, how it happens, how to recognize it, how to avoid it and what God says about it.”

WHAT IS ENMESHMENT (Word for Word Teaching)

“Enmeshment happens when emotional boundaries between two people become blurred or nonexistent.

It’s when:

• Their feelings become your responsibility

• Their needs outweigh your own

• Their approval determines your worth

• And separation feels threatening instead of neutral

Enmeshment is not closeness.

It’s fusion.

You’re not choosing the relationship

you’re surviving inside it.”

WHY ENMESHMENT HAPPENS

“Enmeshment doesn’t start in adulthood.

It starts in childhood.

It happens when a child learns:

Love must be earned

Safety depends on pleasing others

Boundaries cause abandonment

And connection equals survival

Many of us grew up emotionally fused to a parent who:

Needed us emotionally

Couldn’t self-regulate

Used guilt, fear, or obligation

Or made us responsible for their feelings

So later, our nervous system confuses attachment with identity.