Social skills can be challenging for people with ADHD. Whether it’s trouble with executive function, or anxiety from past situations, socializing can come with a lot of emotions. It can also be really confusing and bring up uncomfortable questions. Why does it seem so much easier for everyone else? Why can’t I hold on to friendships? What do I even like to do?

In this episode Host Cate Osborn chats with Caroline Maguire, MEd. Caroline is an ADHD coach, and author of the book Why Will No One Play With Me? Join Cate and Caroline as they talk about how ADHD affects social skills — and what we can do to help.

Related resources

• Caroline’s website
• Caroline’s book, Why Will No One Play With Me?
• Caroline’s video, How to Stop People Pleasing With ADHD

For a transcript and more resources, visit the “Sorry, I Missed This” show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Ever wondered if your therapist gets you, or if therapy is even working? You’re not alone. This week, Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer is back to unpack the complicated, sometimes confusing, always human relationship between therapist and client (especially when ADHD is in the mix).

Host Cate Osborn and Elizabeth dig into how different types of therapy work, how to tell if therapy is actually helping, and what kinds of conversations are and aren’t fair game in the therapy room. Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time or reevaluating a long-term fit, this conversation will help you trust your instincts and advocate for what you need.

Related resources

• Dr. Kilmer’s website, elizabethkilmer.com
• Treatment for mental health issues
• Dialectical behavior therapy: What you need to know
• Cognitive behavioral therapy: What is CBT?

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(00:43) What inspired this episode

(01:53) Relationship between therapist and client basics

(04:45) How do we know if a therapist is a good fit for us?

(06:50) What is a ‘therapeutic modality’? What is a ‘manualized treatment’?

(09:36) How do we know if therapy working?

(13:51) How do we give feedback to our therapist?

(17:29) How do we breakup with a therapist?

(19:35) What do we talk about in therapy?

(23:52) What do we do if we don’t have access to therapy?

(26:09) Advice on how to start therapy

(29:22) Outro and credits

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Forget what you’ve seen in movies: BDSM isn’t one-size-fits-all. As Dr. Leann Borneman explains, it’s more of an à la carte menu where consent, communication, and personal boundaries come first. You can take what works for you and leave the rest.

Host Cate Osborn talks with clinical sexologist Dr. Borneman about the intersection of BDSM, neurodivergence, and executive function. They explore how some people with ADHD use parts of BDSM, like structure, sensory input, and clearly defined roles. These can help support attention, reduce overwhelm, and build emotional regulation.

Listen as Cate and Leann challenge outdated assumptions, and learn how destigmatizing your desires can help you show up more fully in your life.

Related resources

• Leann’s website, bornemancoaching.com
• Leann’s dissertation, The Intersection of ADHD and BDSM Engagement in Heterosexual Women

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(00:48) A comment from Cate on stigma

(02:35) BDSM as a coping strategy, not just a preference

(03:58) Society’s stigma versus the scientific research

(06:37) Pick and choose what works for you, you don’t have to label yourself

(10:53) ADHD and sexuality: Incapability versus lack of access

(13:10) What is causing this lack of access to good sex?

(17:27) Unmasking is key to authenticity and figuring out what you like

(19:11) BDSM creates space for safety through it’s collaborative and consentful nature

(21:54) Leann’s advice for those curious about BDSM and kink

(24:33) Outro and credits

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give