What if the life you're trying to create doesn't require you to work harder, stress more, or wait for the next milestone?

Recently, I noticed myself slipping back into an old version of me.

I was stressed.
Reactive.
Worried.
Feeling behind.
Feeling like I wasn't enough.

I call that version Primal Joey.

And instead of trying to push through it, I used a framework I learned from one of my mentors called the 4D Framework.

It's a simple five-minute exercise that helps you identify:
What you actually want in your future
Who you're being right now
How that current version of you behaves
And who you would become if everything you wanted was already accomplished

I call that future version Powerful Joey.

The important part isn't waiting until you have the money, the business, the house, the relationship, or the success you want.

It's asking:
How would I behave if I already knew everything was going to work out?

Then starting to live from that state today.

In this episode, I walk you through the exact exercise and how I've used it to become more relaxed, present, loving, grounded, and intentional instead of constantly operating from stress and fear.

We'll talk about:
Why stress can become a signal that you're off track
The difference between an experience and the story you're attaching to it
How to identify your "Primal" version
How to define your future or "Powerful" version
Why you shouldn't wait for success before becoming the person you want to be
How neuroscience supports the importance of embodying a new state
Why your behavior can either reinforce your current reality or create room for something new
How I started taking more trips and working less as part of this practice
And how to use the 4D Framework as a daily compass

You don't need hours.

You need one sheet of paper, one pen, and about five minutes.

Because the goal isn't to become someone else.

It's to start becoming the version of yourself you already know you want to be.

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

00:00 Feeling Stuck? This Is Your Signal

01:44 Why I Became "Primal Joey" Again

03:26 Where the 4D Framework Started

04:10 The 4D Framework Explained

06:33 Meet Your Powerful Future Self

08:18 Why You Have to Become That Person Now

09:20 How to Start Embodying Your Future Self

12:13 Use Your Future Self as Your Compass

15:31 Consistency Is the Practice

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

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Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

My kids aren't waiting for me to teach them something.

They're already learning.

From how I respond when I'm tired.
From how I treat my wife.
From whether I look up when they're talking to me.
From how I handle conflict.
From the things I repeat every single day.

And that realization changed the way I think about being a dad.

In this episode, I share five things I'm intentionally doing in my own family:

1. Be there. Be present.

2. Be the leader. Don't let their energy set yours.

3. Model it, because you're the mirror.

4. Say what you want, not what you don't want.

5. Say the same words every single day.

This isn't about being a perfect parent.

It's about becoming more aware of the things we're already handing down.

Because most of us inherited a formula from our own parents. They inherited one too. And most of them were simply doing the best they could with what they had.

Now it's our turn to decide what moves forward.

And what stops with us.

The question I'm leaving you with:

What's one thing you want your kids to carry from you and are you living it or just saying it?

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Chapters

00:00 What Are Your Kids Learning From You?

01:00 The Words I Say to My Kids Every Day

02:30 Why I Became Intentional About Parenting

04:34 Tip #1: Be There, Be Present

07:29 Tip #2: Be the Leader

12:05 Tip #3: Model It, Because You're the Mirror

16:22 Tip #4: Say What You Want, Not What You Don't

18:47 Tip #5: The Same Words Every Day

21:35 The Belief I Want My Kids to Carry

22:13 What Do You Want Your Kids to Inherit?

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

I spent $100,000 on coaching with David Bayer.

When I shared my experience on YouTube, I got 157 comments. Some were supportive. Others questioned how I could possibly spend that much money, called the experience a scam or a cult, and wondered why anyone would pay for something they could learn for free.

So almost ten months later, I went back through the comments.

And what I found was more interesting than the comments themselves.

Nobody gets mad at a $100,000 truck. Nobody gets angry when someone spends $100,000 on an MBA, a kitchen, or a wedding.

But spend that money on your own mind and suddenly the conversation changes.

This episode isn't about convincing you to spend $100,000 on coaching. It's about the beliefs underneath our reactions to money, investment, success, and personal transformation.

I read some of the harshest comments word for word, concede where people were right, share the real story behind how I made the investment, and explain what actually changed for me.

We also get into the difference between free information and commitment, whether the community I joined was really a "cult," the roughly 75% financial return I made from the investment, and the much bigger return that had nothing to do with money.

Because sometimes the most revealing part of an experience isn't what happened.

It's the story we attach to what happened.

And the question I'm leaving you with is simple:

What is something you could afford right now and still won't let yourself buy and whose voice is it when you tell yourself no?

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

00:00 The $100K Comment That Started It All

03:06 Why I Spent $100,000 on Coaching

04:10 Nobody Gets Mad at a $100K Truck

05:46 The Truth About My Misleading Title

08:14 What $100K Really Meant to Me

13:07 The Money Beliefs We Inherit

15:09 Free Information vs. Real Commitment

20:10 Did I Join a Cult?

24:47 The Line Nobody Heard

26:04 The 75% Return Nobody Noticed

28:12 The Transformation Beyond Money

31:39 Whose Voice Is It When You Say No?

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

Your biggest goal, made into a 5-minute film starring you. Watch how it works: https://joeyvaillancourt.com/future-reel/

For years, I thought I was doing visualization wrong.

I'd close my eyes during guided meditations and see... nothing. While everyone else described vivid images and powerful experiences, I was left wondering if something was wrong with me.

That question stayed with me until it sparked an idea that would eventually become Future Reel.

In this video, I share the personal story behind that breakthrough, why traditional visualization doesn't work for everyone, and how combining cinematic storytelling with coaching can help you build a future your brain can actually connect with.

If you've ever struggled to picture your future, this conversation was made for you.

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Chapters

00:00 Why visualization never worked for me

00:20 Sitting in an Uber changed everything

00:54 "Am I broken?" My biggest frustration

01:26 Why some people visualize differently

02:03 The idea that became Future Reel

02:43 Why I decided to build it anyway

03:20 If visualization has never worked for you

03:54 What Future Reel actually is

04:38 Why seeing your future changes everything

05:38 What happened after I started using it

06:10 Why coaching is part of the process

06:49 Who Future Reel is for

07:10 What happens on the discovery call

07:46 Your next step

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

For two decades I looked back on my life and saw a list of failures, the corporate job I left, the farm that folded, the marriage that ended, the masterminds I demanded refunds from. Black and white, right or wrong. Even the good stuff landed as proof I'd fallen short.

This episode is about the word "failure" and how much of a life changes when you stop using it. I go through my own examples, one at a time and what each was actually training me for, including the belief I carried into every room that quietly guaranteed the outcome. Pain is real; the suffering is the story laid over it. You get to choose the meaning, and you're not behind, no matter what your past looks like.

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Topics covered

• The glasses that changed everything and the prescription glasses couldn't fix

• Handed-down beliefs: the worldview you inherited without choosing

• Naming the inner prescription and testing it instead of obeying it

• Why evidence follows focus and how that keeps a belief alive

• Ownership vs. blame: not your fault, still your responsibility

Chapters:

00:00 When everything looks like failure

00:33 Welcome to Real Influence

00:58 A quick thing before we start

01:20 The word I stopped using

02:20 Quitting hockey out of fear

03:46 The farm, the marriage, the "failures"

04:20 The masterminds and the refund clause

05:50 The moment I saw it was a choice

06:05 You're not behind — you're on time

08:28 Reframing each story for what it trained

13:33 Living your life as an experiment

15:00 Choosing the meaning from here

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

At fourteen, I couldn't read the chalkboard and figured something was wrong with me. A friend handed me his glasses, the board came into focus, and my grades climbed from barely passing to the honor roll, nothing changed but my eyesight. It took another twenty years to notice I was wearing a second prescription I'd never chosen: the one on my whole worldview.

This episode is about that second lens, the handed-down beliefs about money, trust, control, and worth that get installed before you're old enough to question them. The lens feels like reality, but it isn't permanent; it's testable. I walk through how to name the prescription you're looking through and check whether it's even yours, and why the same argument keeps following you into every new partner, job, and situation until you do.

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Topics covered

• The glasses that changed everything and the prescription glasses couldn't fix

• Handed-down beliefs: the worldview you inherited without choosing

• Naming the inner prescription and testing it instead of obeying it

• Why evidence follows focus and how that keeps a belief alive

• Ownership vs. blame: not your fault, still your responsibility

Chapters:

00:00 The blurry chalkboard

00:35 Welcome to Real Influence

00:55 A quick thing before we start

01:35 The kid who thought he wasn't smart

03:00 The day Jeff handed me his glasses

04:00 From 60s to the honor roll

05:15 "I don't think you'll cut it"

06:00 The prescription you can't take off

08:15 Name the lens, then test it

10:30 The belief that keeps repeating

11:35 The handed-down shirt that never fit

13:00 What lens are you looking through

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

For twenty years I was sure success had a price, and the price was me. More hours, more strain, more proof that I was serious. Then one conversation asked me what success actually was — and how it made me feel and the answer fell apart in my hands.

This episode is about the moment a belief stops looking like a fact and starts looking like a decision you can revisit. I walk through the Experiment Cycle — Notice → Flip → Run → Read — the loop I used to test the rule I'd never questioned, and what changed over the year after I stopped forcing. The point was never doing less. It was living closer to what's actually true for me instead of a formula I inherited by default.

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Chapters:

00:00 The price I paid for twenty years

00:48 The formula you never chose

01:33 Looking busy vs. being productive

03:41 The Experiment Cycle: Notice → Flip → Run → Read

04:20 A belief is a decision, not a fact

05:50 Writing the new belief and stacking evidence

07:54 Picking the opposite on purpose

10:10 The campaign and the farm: proof it was easy

12:30 What happened when I ran the experiment

14:48 Six trips, an empowered team, double the revenue

17:24 Alignment over escape

19:47 The one belief to question this week

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

There's a point where personal development stops helping and starts keeping you stuck.

In this episode, Joey opens up about a pattern he's seen in himself over the past year: the urge to find one more coach, one more breakthrough, one more framework, one more answer. On the surface, it looks like growth. But underneath, it can become something else entirely — avoidance.

If you've been stuck in self improvement, overthinking your next move, consuming more than you're creating, or feeling burned out by how much "work" you've already done on yourself, this episode is for you.

You'll learn:

• Why self help addiction can feel productive while quietly keeping you stuck

• The difference between pain vs suffering — and how we create extra suffering by revisiting old stories

• How coaching addiction and constant learning can become procrastination through learning

• Why there's a point where you don't need more insight — you need reps

• How to tell when you actually need support… and when you just need to take action

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Chapters:

00:00 The trap of always needing "more"

00:39 When personal development becomes addiction

01:48 Pain vs suffering

02:25 The validation loop behind coaching addiction

03:05 Why I thought I needed another mentor

04:17 The question that stopped me from hiring another coach

05:07 Alignment vs fear

06:06 Choosing a coach whose life you actually want

06:59 The next offer… and the same hesitation

08:53 Breakthroughs, blind spots, and reopening old stories

10:53 Why talking about old problems can keep them alive

12:17 You don't need to fix every area right now

13:22 Taking action vs learning more

14:28 The hamster wheel of self improvement

15:23 What you probably need now is reps

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.