Why do some comments stay with us for years while others roll right off our backs?

In this episode, Joey Vaillancourt explores the hidden reason feedback feels so personal and why criticism often triggers something much deeper than the conversation itself.

Using a personal story about receiving difficult workplace feedback, Joey breaks down the beliefs, emotions, and unconscious patterns that shape how we respond when someone points out a weakness, challenge, or blind spot.

You'll learn how to receive feedback with a growth mindset, separate facts from stories, and use criticism as a tool for self-leadership rather than self-judgment.

If you're a high performer who struggles with criticism, overthinking, or feeling not enough, this episode will give you a practical framework for responding differently.

TheGreatLifeExperiment.ca — You built life. You hit the goals. But the pressure never actually left.

The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one powerful question each day to help uncover the unconscious patterns driving stress and suffering.

Start here → thegreatlifeexperiment.ca

🔗 Take the FREE Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz → https://joeyvaillancourt.com/pressure-pattern-quiz/

• Why feedback feels threatening

• Constructive feedback vs personal identity

• How to stop taking criticism personally

• The beliefs driving emotional reactions

• The Real Influence Ladder framework

• Emotional regulation during difficult conversations

• Receiving feedback with a growth mindset

00:00 The Feedback That Haunted Me for Years

01:05 Why Feedback Feels Personal

02:13 The Belief Behind Every Reaction

03:21 Feedback Is a Mirror, Not a Verdict

04:22 The "B Player" Story

06:38 Why Meaning Creates Suffering

09:02 What Feedback Meant Growing Up

10:16 Separating Facts From Stories

11:08 A Real-Life Example at Home

13:20 The Question That Changes Everything

15:03 The Real Influence Ladder

18:56 Feedback as Information, Not Identity

21:18 The Gift Hidden Inside Criticism

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

https://joeyvaillancourt.com/

https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/

https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/

https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence

https://joeyvaillancourt.com/the-30-day-challenge/

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV. https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.
https://sens.ai/realinfluence

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence — a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure — this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

What happens when the person teaching the tools becomes the one struggling to use them?

In this episode of the Real Influence podcast, I sit down with my wife, Monika, for a raw and unfiltered live coaching session on overwhelm, anxiety, burnout, and suffering.

Instead of speaking from the other side of the breakthrough, I open up in real time about feeling mentally overloaded, emotionally exhausted, disconnected from clarity, and trapped under pressure from multiple areas of life.

Together, we unpack:
• why high performers get stuck in overwhelm
• how nervous system regulation affects the way we think
• the hidden identity patterns behind burnout
• why suffering comes from meaning, not circumstances
• how coaching helps uncover blind spots
• what it actually looks like to rewire your brain in real time

If you've been carrying pressure silently while trying to hold everything together… this episode is for you.

This isn't polished self-help.

It's a real conversation in the middle of the struggle.

TheGreatLifeExperiment.ca — You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure never actually left.

The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one powerful question each day to help uncover the unconscious patterns driving stress and suffering.

Start here → thegreatlifeexperiment.ca

🔗 Take the FREE Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz → https://joeyvaillancourt.com/pressure-pattern-quiz/

• Live coaching through overwhelm and suffering

• Burnout recovery for entrepreneurs and executives

• Nervous system regulation and emotional states

• Anxiety, pressure, and mental overload

• Reframing failure and emotional meaning

• Why asking for help changes your state

• Neuroplasticity and subconscious rewiring

00:00 Joey Opens Up About His Own Suffering

01:33 Why Everyone Needs a Coach

03:04 Living in Constant Pressure as a High Performer

05:44 Starting the Coaching Session

07:21 Feeling Scattered and Mentally Overloaded

11:42 The Thoughts Behind Overwhelm

14:27 Where Stress Shows Up in the Body

16:20 Nervous System Regulation Explained

18:44 The Meaning We Attach to Suffering

21:17 Why This Chaos Might Be Necessary

24:56 Reframing Failure and Progress

29:08 Isolation vs Asking for Support

31:19 Shifting Out of a Primal State

34:43 Neuroplasticity and Rewiring Your Brain

38:56 Why Coaching Accelerates Growth

42:30 The Decision Matrix Exercise

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

https://joeyvaillancourt.com/

https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/

https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/

https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence

https://joeyvaillancourt.com/the-30-day-challenge/

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV. https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.
https://sens.ai/realinfluence

Connect with Monika!

Social: https://www.instagram.com/monikavaillancourt/

Coaching: https://joeyvaillancourt.com/coaching/

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence — a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure — this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

Most high performers aren't lacking discipline.
They're carrying pressure.

In this episode, Joey breaks down the hidden emotional pattern behind pressure-driven discipline — and why success can quietly disconnect you from your life if you're not careful.

This conversation explores how many entrepreneurs and high achievers build their identity around sacrifice, proving themselves, and delaying life for "later." The problem is… later never really comes.

Joey shares five principles for creating discipline from a healthier place — one rooted in awareness, alignment, nervous system regulation, and intentional living instead of constant internal pressure.

If you've achieved success but still feel heavy, restless, or unable to relax… this episode will likely feel very familiar.

TheGreatLifeExperiment.ca — You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure never actually left. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge that helps you see and shift the unconscious patterns keeping you stuck in that loop — one question a day. That's it.

Start here → thegreatlifeexperiment.ca

🔗 Take the FREE Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz → https://joeyvaillancourt.com/pressure-pattern-quiz/

• Pressure-driven sacrifice

• Discipline and identity

• High achiever mindset

• Nervous system regulation

• How to be disciplined without burnout

• Self improvement and personal growth

• Accountability and coaching

• Creating success without disconnecting from life

00:00 Discipline Isn't The Real Problem

00:19 The Hidden Cost Of Sacrifice

00:55 Why High Performers Feel Pressure

02:04 When Discipline Starts Feeling Heavy

03:05 Discipline Reflects Identity

04:18 Success Through Self-Deprivation

05:40 Principle 1: Act Like Someone Is Watching

08:00 Principle 2: The "I Don't Know If" Framework

10:12 Principle 3: North Star Goals

13:27 Principle 4: The 4D Version Of You

17:14 Principle 5: Accountability & Coaching

20:56 Discipline Without Pressure

21:44 The Pattern Behind Success & Sacrifice

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

https://joeyvaillancourt.com/

https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/

https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/

https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.
https://sens.ai/realinfluence

About Joey: Joey Vaillancourt, host of the Real Influence podcast, helps people overcome apathy, feeling trapped and living a life of resignation by inspiring them to challenge their assumptions and handed down beliefs so they can experience a more purposeful, fulfilled and aligned life