What if the life you're trying to create doesn't require you to work harder, stress more, or wait for the next milestone?

Recently, I noticed myself slipping back into an old version of me.

I was stressed.
Reactive.
Worried.
Feeling behind.
Feeling like I wasn't enough.

I call that version Primal Joey.

And instead of trying to push through it, I used a framework I learned from one of my mentors called the 4D Framework.

It's a simple five-minute exercise that helps you identify:
What you actually want in your future
Who you're being right now
How that current version of you behaves
And who you would become if everything you wanted was already accomplished

I call that future version Powerful Joey.

The important part isn't waiting until you have the money, the business, the house, the relationship, or the success you want.

It's asking:
How would I behave if I already knew everything was going to work out?

Then starting to live from that state today.

In this episode, I walk you through the exact exercise and how I've used it to become more relaxed, present, loving, grounded, and intentional instead of constantly operating from stress and fear.

We'll talk about:
Why stress can become a signal that you're off track
The difference between an experience and the story you're attaching to it
How to identify your "Primal" version
How to define your future or "Powerful" version
Why you shouldn't wait for success before becoming the person you want to be
How neuroscience supports the importance of embodying a new state
Why your behavior can either reinforce your current reality or create room for something new
How I started taking more trips and working less as part of this practice
And how to use the 4D Framework as a daily compass

You don't need hours.

You need one sheet of paper, one pen, and about five minutes.

Because the goal isn't to become someone else.

It's to start becoming the version of yourself you already know you want to be.

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

00:00 Feeling Stuck? This Is Your Signal

01:44 Why I Became "Primal Joey" Again

03:26 Where the 4D Framework Started

04:10 The 4D Framework Explained

06:33 Meet Your Powerful Future Self

08:18 Why You Have to Become That Person Now

09:20 How to Start Embodying Your Future Self

12:13 Use Your Future Self as Your Compass

15:31 Consistency Is the Practice

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

My kids aren't waiting for me to teach them something.

They're already learning.

From how I respond when I'm tired.
From how I treat my wife.
From whether I look up when they're talking to me.
From how I handle conflict.
From the things I repeat every single day.

And that realization changed the way I think about being a dad.

In this episode, I share five things I'm intentionally doing in my own family:

1. Be there. Be present.

2. Be the leader. Don't let their energy set yours.

3. Model it, because you're the mirror.

4. Say what you want, not what you don't want.

5. Say the same words every single day.

This isn't about being a perfect parent.

It's about becoming more aware of the things we're already handing down.

Because most of us inherited a formula from our own parents. They inherited one too. And most of them were simply doing the best they could with what they had.

Now it's our turn to decide what moves forward.

And what stops with us.

The question I'm leaving you with:

What's one thing you want your kids to carry from you and are you living it or just saying it?

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Chapters

00:00 What Are Your Kids Learning From You?

01:00 The Words I Say to My Kids Every Day

02:30 Why I Became Intentional About Parenting

04:34 Tip #1: Be There, Be Present

07:29 Tip #2: Be the Leader

12:05 Tip #3: Model It, Because You're the Mirror

16:22 Tip #4: Say What You Want, Not What You Don't

18:47 Tip #5: The Same Words Every Day

21:35 The Belief I Want My Kids to Carry

22:13 What Do You Want Your Kids to Inherit?

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

I spent $100,000 on coaching with David Bayer.

When I shared my experience on YouTube, I got 157 comments. Some were supportive. Others questioned how I could possibly spend that much money, called the experience a scam or a cult, and wondered why anyone would pay for something they could learn for free.

So almost ten months later, I went back through the comments.

And what I found was more interesting than the comments themselves.

Nobody gets mad at a $100,000 truck. Nobody gets angry when someone spends $100,000 on an MBA, a kitchen, or a wedding.

But spend that money on your own mind and suddenly the conversation changes.

This episode isn't about convincing you to spend $100,000 on coaching. It's about the beliefs underneath our reactions to money, investment, success, and personal transformation.

I read some of the harshest comments word for word, concede where people were right, share the real story behind how I made the investment, and explain what actually changed for me.

We also get into the difference between free information and commitment, whether the community I joined was really a "cult," the roughly 75% financial return I made from the investment, and the much bigger return that had nothing to do with money.

Because sometimes the most revealing part of an experience isn't what happened.

It's the story we attach to what happened.

And the question I'm leaving you with is simple:

What is something you could afford right now and still won't let yourself buy and whose voice is it when you tell yourself no?

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment
You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

00:00 The $100K Comment That Started It All

03:06 Why I Spent $100,000 on Coaching

04:10 Nobody Gets Mad at a $100K Truck

05:46 The Truth About My Misleading Title

08:14 What $100K Really Meant to Me

13:07 The Money Beliefs We Inherit

15:09 Free Information vs. Real Commitment

20:10 Did I Join a Cult?

24:47 The Line Nobody Heard

26:04 The 75% Return Nobody Noticed

28:12 The Transformation Beyond Money

31:39 Whose Voice Is It When You Say No?

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.