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PHQP_0025 Instead of NO

PHQP_0025 Instead of NO

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 In PHQP_0025 Instead of NO, Jeff discusses the value of following up a "No" with a "But" in order to better support playful learning. Episode Video Watch Now: PHQP_0025 Instead of NO Episode Notes No links for this episode. The Instead of NO Transcript Welcome to the Playvolution HQ Podcast, I'm Jeff Johnson, thanks for pushing play, I'm with the show. So I was on a walk the other day and I ran across an Easter game, kids were playing a game of dodge croc. This is, you can imagine, dodge ball using a croc shoe, you know, those really ugly shoes, instead of a ball. Nobody wanted to run home and get a ball, so somebody kicked off their shoes and they were playing with the croc. And they were using a pinkish, purplish colored croc, I think crocs of any color will work if you want to play dodge croc. But I thought this was ingenious, it goes to show how creative kids are, how versatile loose parts are, and how kids are wired to make do. We don't need a lot of fancy toys to make play happen, we just need space and an environment and interest and kids will come up with all kinds of things for the props necessary to make their play work. When I do write up the dodge ball post for the Playvolution HQ collection of classic kids games, I will make sure to include dodge croc in there as a game variation. What are we going to get into next? Well, we've got one topic for this week, and that is no but. This kind of is related to the dodge croc, right? Anybody got a ball so we can play dodge ball? No but, I do have this croc, and that's the way they move forward. I think no but is a much better option when it comes to dealing with activities kids are choosing than no, because often times for adults we get in this habit of saying no and just putting things to a complete stop when kids are doing things that we don't approve of. Now, absolutely there are times when we need kids to stop what they're doing. It's okay, I mean I'm not saying never say no to kids, what I am saying is much of the time when it comes to supervising and keeping play safe and promoting learning, we can opt for something less than no, and I think no but is a good variation there, because it's easy for no to become the default response. Along those lines, my experience is also, since I do a lot of training and talking about caregiver burnout, saying no all day, no, no you can't do that, no you can't do this, no you can't do this, I can't have you, really has an impact on our mindset, and we start taking on the negative mindset of that no, and one of the strategies for reducing burnout just a little bit for caregivers is to create an environment where you're not saying no as much, because it truly does have an impact on your mindset. Maybe that'll be a future episode. So instead of no, we can start going with no but, and that curtails the children's activity and learning, just like no does, but it offers another option, and that's where it becomes valuable. So instead of shutting down the activity completely, it offers them a way to move forward with it with slight changes. And look, this is basically redirection, right? And I think it's more thoughtful if we think about it in these terms of looking for ways to support the thing, because oftentimes just basic redirection is they redirect, the child is redirected 180 degrees from what they are already doing, and what we're talking about here is making minor changes to what they're already doing so they can keep doing some version of it. I think that's the difference between basic redirection and no but. Yes, might be impossible, impractical, or inconvenient. That just happens. There are going to be, like I said, there are going to be those times where we do absolutely have to say no to kids, and no but could be that alternative. No but provides options and choice and a little bit more power and control for the kids instead of being redirected to something that may be 180 de...
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