When something shocking or difficult happens, we're often told we need to "process" our emotions. But what if that endless loop of replaying events in your mind isn't actually processing at all? In this episode, Drew and Josh explore the crucial difference between healthy emotional processing and anxious rumination that keeps us stuck.

• How to distinguish between genuine emotional processing and OCD/GAD-style rumination
• Why that "urgent" feeling to think through something repeatedly might be a red flag
• The difference between being with your feelings versus chasing a particular feeling
• Why real processing can't be forced or scheduled on demand
• How to recognize when your mind is "hunting for problems to solve"

Processing vs. Ruminating: Real processing involves experiencing emotions from multiple perspectives and naturally leads somewhere. Anxious thinking loops from a single anxious viewpoint, chasing certainty or relief that never comes.

The Mirage Effect: Like chasing an oasis in the desert, compulsive thinking promises relief that always stays just out of reach.

Beyond the Urgent: If thinking through something feels urgent or mandatory right now, it's likely anxiety rather than processing.

Community Contributions In This Episode:

• Dental Victory (15:50): A listener shares how she conquered dental anxiety and gave herself full credit for the win
• Double Challenge (29:15): Managing husband's travel anxiety while attending a family party - and having a panic attack but staying anyway
• Panic Attack Breakthrough (32:30): Learning to let panic attacks run their course instead of fleeing to safety

Timestamps

• 02:00 - Listener question: When does processing become anxious looping?
• 05:20 - Josh explains the mechanics of OCD triggers after shocking events
• 09:15 - Drew on narrative therapy and finding meaning versus chasing feelings
• 13:00 - The misuse of "doing mode" - when thinking becomes a compulsion
• 18:30 - Why Craig the Critic might tell you to keep "processing"
• 21:00 - Josh's personal example of organic grief processing
• 26:10 - Signs of unprocessed emotions versus anxious rumination
• 27:30 - Why urgency is often a sign it's anxiety, not processing

True emotional processing happens organically and involves being with difficult feelings without trying to fix them. When "processing" feels urgent, repetitive, or like chasing relief, it's likely anxious thinking in disguise. The goal isn't to process everything immediately, but to allow natural emotional experiences while living your life.

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Disordered Roundtables are here! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.

In this episode of Disordered, the guys tackle one of the most misunderstood concepts in anxiety recovery: healing. Sparked by a listener question about balancing relationships with anxiety recovery work, the hosts dive deep into what healing anxiety really means - and what it doesn't.

The Problem with "Healing" Language

Drew and Josh explore how the word "healing" can be problematic in anxiety recovery, often implying that people are broken and need fixing. They discuss how healing anxiety culture can keep people trapped in endless cycles of inward focus and compulsive self-improvement.

Real vs. Imaginary Healing

There is a difference between meaningful healing (like processing grief or trauma) versus the endless pursuit of healing anxiety symptoms. They emphasize that anxiety disorders often require learning and skill development rather than traditional healing approaches.

Living vs. Healing

A central theme emerges: in anxiety recovery, we don't heal to live - we live to heal. The hosts challenge the notion that extensive inner work must precede living your life, suggesting that engaging in meaningful activities IS the recovery process.

Timestamps:

4:30 - Why no one gets to define healing for you

8:00 - The "resource gathering" compulsion trap

13:40 - How healing language can keep you stuck

16:00 - The dangers of AI-driven anxiety advice

21:40 - When healing actually makes sense in therapy

26:30 - Why being "already healed" might be the answer

29:00 - The never-ending healing journey problem

33:00 - Self-development vs. living your life

The hosts suggest that many people struggling with anxiety may already be "healed" - they're simply learning to navigate life without anxiety being center stage. Rather than endless healing pursuits, recovery often involves doing less inner work and more actual living. The episode challenges popular wellness narratives while maintaining hope for genuine recovery through practical, reality-based approaches.

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Disordered Roundtables are here! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.

Ever feel trapped in cycles of rumination, overthinking, and constant mental chatter about your anxiety? In this episode, Drew and Josh tackle the challenging question of how to "get out of your own head" without turning it into another exhausting battle.

Starting with a thoughtful question from a listener who has built an impressive life despite ongoing anxiety and DPDR but still struggles with constant internal focus, the hosts explore why simply trying to stop thinking doesn't work and what actually does.

Key topics covered include:

• Why "getting out of your head" doesn't mean eliminating anxious thoughts
• The difference between coexisting with thoughts versus fighting them
• How to make anxiety the "least interesting thing in the room"
• Understanding when overthinking becomes a compulsion rather than helpful problem-solving
• Practical strategies for redirecting attention while allowing difficult feelings
• The role of willful tolerance in breaking rumination cycles

The episode features inspiring "did it anyway" stories from listeners conquering agoraphobia with solo travel and managing postpartum OCD intrusive thoughts during daily caregiving tasks.

Drew and Josh also address the tricky balance between attention redirection techniques and emotional avoidance, offering guidance for those working with metacognitive therapy approaches.

Key Timestamps:

[02:30] - Listener question about staying out of your own head

[07:30] - Josh's detailed narrative of what being "in your head" actually sounds like

[12:50] - Making anxiety the least interesting thing in the room

[15:50] - The attention "flashlight" metaphor and experimentation approach

[17:00] - Josh's YouTube banner analogy for intrusive thoughts

[18:40] - Addressing GAD and the belief that thinking is always helpful

[25:00] - Powerful "did it anyway" story about postpartum OCD

[29:00] - The role of distraction and attention flexibility

[33:40] - Listener question about balancing allowing feelings vs. attention redirection

This episode emphasizes that recovery isn't about achieving a thought-free mind, but rather developing a healthier relationship with your internal experience while engaging meaningfully with your life.---

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Disordered Roundtables are here! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.