Synchronized
The Science of Love
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Synchronized
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Ruth Feldman
We’ve all read about attachment types, love languages, and the scars trauma leaves in our body. But until now, we’ve had little idea what activates these central parts of our existence. The answers lie in the science of synchrony, a field which Ruth Feldman founded over three decades ago.
This groundbreaking book reveals how synchrony binds us together across the relationships we hold dear—with our parents, our children, friends, lovers, therapists, coworkers, and peers. Synchrony can even form bonds of empathy and care between former enemies. It helps us reduce stress, face challenges, find a sense of meaning, and build lasting resilience.
Synchrony doesn’t just connect us socially; it connects us biologically. When we coordinate our behavior with others, our hearts beat together, oxytocin is simultaneously released in our bodies, and our brain rhythms sync. Synchrony is the biological signature of the magic feeling we call “love.”
Synchrony creates the envelope of safety that enables us to heal from trauma. Connecting with others in synchrony allows us to transcend the confines of our self and discover a shared meaning. And as the systems in our bodies that stimulate and sustain it are activated by behaviors, synchrony can be learned, practiced, and improved.
Throughout the book, you’ll find a wide variety of stories demonstrating how to practice synchrony in ways that enrich and repair your relationships, whether with your romantic partner, with your children as they grow older, or with an old friend. Dr. Feldman has developed proven interventions to build synchrony when it has been lost; among couples in deep conflict, between depressed mothers and their infants, among adversaries, and in communities fractured from trauma. When people learn to synchronize, new pathways to healing open.
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