Crucial Conversations

There is something useful here

I am generally more than somewhat dubious of self-help books. They tend to be full of jargon and self-promotion with overly simplistic frameworks and have a few powerful truths that are somewhat obvious, but not so easy to actually execute. This audio book is no exception. Crucial Conversations uses a lot of words for self-promoting and testimonials with very little information content. It has its share of jargon and acronyms and oversimplifications. It also has its powerful truths (that are somewhat obvious and not so easy to actually execute). The single best transformative truth presented is that if someone is reacting with anger or retreating into silence it because of a story they are telling themselves. Really seeing and believing this for oneself and for others is (I think) the fundamental key in dealing with most emotional conflict.

Without the jargon and acronyms this mostly boils down to:

Look at how you and others are reacting
Make sure everyone feels safe
Notice what you really want
Notice if you are acting in alignment with what you really want
Think about your story before you start talking
Separate the facts from your story
Ask for, and understand, the stories of others
Ask for, and understand, challenges from others to your story
Align on a purpose
Come to a decision
Write down decisions with clear actions, dates and verification

OK, mostly pretty obvious. Some pretty easy to do, some pretty hard. If you do all these things, you will likely communicate well.

I did this as a training class as well as reading and listening to the book and viewing the videos (yikes!) and the audio examples. The training class was much, much better than the audio (or printed) book primarily because in the class there were many role-plays where the students had to actually attempt to use the techniques in semi-scripted scenarios. These role-plays made it clear how different these techniques were from most peoples’ normal communications habits and made it very clear it would take a lot of focus and practice to become proficient using these techniques.

There were a few things I particularly didn't like including; The time and words wasted in self-promotion and testimonials; Labeling natural fight or flight responses as “unhealthy”; and the narration was (as in many self-help books) so upbeat and positive as to be grating.

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387 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Good book, HORRIBLE reading

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

Yes, good contents. I have a strong preference for "Difficult conversations" by Stone, Patton, Heen, but I found Crucial Conversations quite complementary.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

I found his constant emphasis on almost every word he read was unbearable, to the extent that I actually stopped listening to the book for a while, and took it again later when I had nothing else to listen to (I listen in my car only)

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56 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

An easy listen

Useful enough of a book with good points. A slightly different take on the same subject as Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people," which if I were to choose between the two I would go with Dale Carnegie's seminal book as the message here isn't as direct, but if you're interested in the subject and have already read/listened to Mr. Carnegie's, then this is a good compliment.

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49 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Changed my perception of life

It is no overstatement that this book has effectively changed how I perceive life around me in any human interaction. From my relationship to my professional day-to-day exchanges, the ideas from this book have permeated the foundations and execution and, most importantly, greatly improved the outcome.

Thank you, authors, for providing the tools for me to deal with my own problems.

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25 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Another Awesome Listen!

Where does Crucial Conversations rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Probably one of the most important books I've listened to in the past year.

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

When you feel "lost" in a conversation, You ask yourself, what do I want to achieve here?

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18 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Everyone should read this book

What did you like best about this story?

The information in this book should be taught as a basic skill for everyone. My wish is for this communication tactic to become 'common knowledge' shared in the home, schools and workforce.

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17 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Winning the Games People Play

What did you love best about Crucial Conversations?

I found the breakdown of how and what we think when faced with interpersonal crises very thought provoking and very accurate.

What other book might you compare Crucial Conversations to and why?

Eric Berne's the Games People Play, Timothy Leary's Interpersonal Diagnosis of the Personality, Grinder and Bandler's Frogs Into Princes, L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics, Milton H. Erickson's Healing With Hypnosis, Jay Haley's Uncommon Therapy

Have you listened to any of Joseph Grenny’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Grenny has a youthful, strong, clear presentation. His reading of Crucial Conversations gets to the heart of the problem and shows the reader how to solved it. I will listen to this program several times.

What did you learn from Crucial Conversations that you would use in your daily life?

The difference between "facts" and "story" is very important to distinguish. We take a fact and we make assumptions about how that fact came about which may not be accurate. People unaware of this research usually act as though the information they've intuited is true. If we can use good language skills to unravel facts from intuited "stories," we may be able to help others and ourselves get closer to the truth.

Any additional comments?

There is really a lot of new information here that can be very useful when using language to support our relationships both personal and business.

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14 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Fantastic!

Any additional comments?

This is a fantastic primer on communication. It is so easy to walk away from a conversation but that isn't a solution. Crucial Conversations gives you the skills to engage in communication and find solutions. I have listened to this book several times. It is wonderful.

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10 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

A Must for Peacemakers and Negotiators

For those who sometimes are called upon to defuse interpersonal explosives or herd creative bobcats in a useful direction, there are good tools in this volume.

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9 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

I listened to this one second

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

I listened to crucial confrontation first and thoroughly loved the book so I then attempted to listen to this book crucial conversations. I was thoroughly disappointed. first, the voice of conversations reminded me of some high strung arrogant young white guy. I cant relate. Secondly, much of the book i had already heard in crucial confrontations but with a narrator i enjoyed. it was a wasted credit for me.

What could Kerry Patterson have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

different narrator and maybe warned to read the books in order. after reading the second one first, this was a ditto book and a waste of credit

What didn’t you like about the narrator’s performance?

for some reason i disliked the narrator. he came across to me as arrogant, young, white guy

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

disappointment, i could not get past the first chapter

Any additional comments?

would like a refund

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8 personnes ont trouvé cela utile