Have you ever been telling someone about a difficult day, only for them to jump straight in with advice you never asked for?

Or maybe you're the one who does the fixing. Someone you love is stressed, frustrated or upset, and before they've even finished talking, you're already thinking about what they should do.

I know that feeling because I've been there myself.

The problem is that even when our advice comes from a place of love, it doesn't always land that way.

In this week's episode, I'm talking about why we feel the need to fix other people's problems, how unwanted advice can create resentment in our relationships, and what we can do instead to become better listeners.

I'm sharing a conversation I had with a coaching client who noticed this pattern in her marriage, along with my own experiences of learning to listen differently as a parent.

And I'm giving you four simple questions you can start using today to improve communication, support the people you love and stop taking responsibility for problems that aren't yours to solve.

When someone we care about is struggling, our instinct is often to help them find a solution.

But here's something I've learned through my own personal growth and coaching work: sometimes people don't need your advice. They just need to feel heard.

Jumping in with solutions can unintentionally send the message that we don't trust the other person to work things out for themselves.

And that's where resentment can begin.

You feel frustrated because they aren't taking your advice. They feel frustrated because they never asked for it.

Neither of you intended to create distance, but suddenly you're both feeling a little less understood.

The good news? You can change this pattern, and it starts with curiosity.

- Why we instinctively try to fix other people's problems, even when they haven't asked for help.

- How unwanted advice can create frustration and resentment in relationships.

- The difference between listening to understand and listening to respond.

- Four practical questions that encourage better communication and emotional connection.

- How to stop taking responsibility for other people's feelings and decisions.

- Why curiosity is more powerful than judgment when someone is struggling.

- How to ask for emotional support when you're the one who needs to vent.

- How to use my Trigger, Pause, Respond approach to change your automatic reactions.

Learning to listen without jumping in to fix everything takes practice, especially when it's someone you love and you genuinely want to help.

In this episode, I want you to think about how you show up in those everyday conversations. Are you really listening to understand, or are you already working out what the other person should do next?

Small changes in how we communicate can make a big difference to our relationships. And sometimes, the best way to support someone isn't to offer a solution, but to give them the space to figure things out for themselves.

So this week, pay attention to that urge to fix. Get curious, notice your reactions and see what happens when you approach a conversation a little differently.

If you've enjoyed this episode and you'd like more practical tools to help you change old habits, improve your relationships and navigate everyday life with a little more awareness, I'd love you to join my weekly newsletter.

Every Sunday, I share real stories, honest reflections and practical action steps that go a little deeper than what I share on social media.

https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share

Connect With Me

- Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com
- Instagram: @jennymcoaching
- LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

Have you ever desperately wanted to set the record straight with someone who has completely misunderstood you, even though deep down you know they probably won't listen?

Maybe it's a family member who insists on seeing you in a certain light. Maybe someone you love didn't defend you quite the way you'd hoped. Or perhaps you're lying awake at night, replaying a conversation and imagining all the things you wish you'd said.

I've been there. And I know just how much energy we can waste trying to change someone else's opinion of us.

In this episode, I'm talking about family boundaries, the need for validation, dealing with controlling family members, and why trying to prove yourself to someone who has already made up their mind rarely works.

I'm sharing a conversation with a client that brought up something I think so many of us struggle with: the difference between wanting someone to understand us and actually needing their approval.

And there's another important question I want you to consider: Who really gets a say in the decisions you make about your own life?

Because sometimes the healthiest boundary isn't a confrontation or a dramatic falling-out. Sometimes it's simply deciding that someone else's opinion doesn't need to carry so much weight.

In This Episode, I Explore:

- Why we feel the need to defend ourselves
- What happens when someone has created a version of us that simply isn't true, and why we become so determined to correct it.
- How a loved one's silence can send us spiralling into assumptions that aren't supported by the facts.
- Why some people refuse to see us differently
- Understanding why certain family members may be more invested in being right or maintaining control than actually listening.
- Setting boundaries without cutting people off

And much more

One of the things I've learned, both personally and through my work with clients, is that you can't make someone see you differently if they're determined to hold on to their version of you.

You can explain yourself beautifully. You can present all the evidence. You can have the perfect words ready.

And they still might not change their mind.

That's frustrating, particularly when it's someone in your family. But continuing to chase their understanding can

Resources

If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more, some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.

https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share

Connect With Me

- Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com
- Instagram: @jennymcoaching
- LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

When was the last time you argued about dinner… and it wasn't really about dinner?

The dishwasher. The weekend plans. The phone that gets more attention than the story you're telling. Small things can turn into big arguments, especially when you've been saying "it's fine" for weeks when it really isn't.

In this episode, I'm talking about why couples bicker over small things, how unspoken needs can build into resentment, and how to ask for what you want before another disagreement takes over your day.

I share a story from a coaching session where a client thought he was annoyed about lunch plans, spending money and a change of schedule. But underneath all those details was something he hadn't said out loud: "I want to be included."

If you've ever agreed to something to keep the peace and then stayed quietly furious about it, you'll recognise this one. I certainly do.

In this episode, I explore:

- Why everyday disagreements can leave you feeling unheard, unnoticed or left out.
- The difference between healthy compromise and saying yes when something really matters to you.
- How "whatever, it's fine" can create confusion and resentment in your relationship.
- Why expecting your partner to guess what's wrong can leave you both frustrated.
- Two moments to pause: before you snap, and before you swallow what you really want to say.
- My simple framework for asking for what you need: start with appreciation, make a clear request and explain how it helps you both.
- How these communication skills carry into conversations with your children, friends, clients and team.

The next time you catch yourself thinking, "We're arguing over nothing," ask yourself what you haven't said out loud yet. Do you want to feel included? Heard? Supported? I'd love you to pause long enough to name it. That gives you both something clearer to work with than another "it's fine" that neither of you believes.

Resources

If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more, some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.

https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share

Connect With Me

- Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com
- Instagram: @jennymcoaching
- LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching

If you're still figuring out your own version of "stop it, Jen," send me a message. I'll help you find it.

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

I didn't get picked. So now I'm questioning everything I bring to the table.

I've been there. And whether it's a promotion, a friendship or a relationship, I know how quickly "they didn't choose me" can turn into "I'm not good enough."

In this episode, I'm talking about that gut-punch feeling of being passed over, and how I can acknowledge the hurt without letting someone else's decision define my worth.

I'm sharing a conversation with a client whose company restructure left her in a role she hadn't asked for and didn't want. On paper, it looked like a demotion. But when we stepped back and looked at what was happening around her, a very different picture emerged.

That conversation got me thinking about the things I've chased, the recognition I've wanted and the times I've assumed that getting chosen would finally make me feel good enough.

From wanting the front-and-centre spot in dance class to getting caught up in overscheduling my children, I've had my own lessons in confusing achievement with worth. And I'm asking a question that might feel a little uncomfortable: am I happy, or am I distracted by the applause?

What you will learn:

- How I separate what happened from the story I'm telling myself about it.
- Why I question the pull of titles, status and the next badge of honour.
- What I've learned about showing leadership without waiting for a promotion.
- How I recognise the conversations that pull me further into a spiral and step away.
- Why I can feel disappointed and still recognise what's good in my life.

I also share one simple writing exercise to help separate the facts from the labels, and explain why a pause before reacting can make such a difference.

I'm not pretending rejection doesn't hurt. I'm exploring what becomes possible when I stop treating it as a verdict on who I am.

If "why wasn't I chosen?" has been taking up too much space lately, join me for this episode.

Resources

If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more, some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.

https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share

Connect With Me

- Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com
- Instagram: @jennymcoaching
- LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

You don't need to be fitter before you begin. You don't need a full hour. And you definitely don't need to punish yourself for what you didn't do.

One of my clients recently completed her first workout in a very long time. She moved for 30 minutes, felt energised, clear-headed and proud, and then immediately dismissed it with: "It was only half an hour."

But since when did 30 minutes not count?

In this episode, I'm challenging the 60-minute workout myth and the belief that exercise is only worthwhile if it leaves you completely exhausted. Research suggests that a 30-minute workout can be just as effective and sometimes more effective than exercising for an hour.

But this conversation is about more than how long you exercise.

When you constantly downplay your efforts, you don't just damage your motivation and self-confidence. You can end up missing the swim, avoiding the gym, turning down the invitation or waiting to enjoy your life until you believe your body is finally "good enough."

I know, because I've done it too. I once convinced myself I wasn't fit enough to go back to the gym—which is fairly ridiculous when getting fitter is the entire reason for going.

Whether you walk for 10 minutes, dance around your living room, carry shopping from the car or complete a 30-minute workout, it counts. Small, consistent actions will always matter more than one heroic effort followed by six days of soreness and avoidance.

What you'll learn

- Why a 30-minute workout can be enough to improve your health and fitness
- What research tells us about 30-minute versus 60-minute workouts
- Why longer workouts can sometimes leave you less active for the rest of the day
- How consistency can be more effective than workout duration
- Why everyday movement - including walking, cleaning and carrying shopping, still counts
- How dismissing your progress affects your confidence and self-worth
- Why you don't need to lose weight or get fit before joining a gym
- How to recognise the old beliefs that trigger self-sabotage
- A simple way to celebrate your effort without waiting for anyone else's validation

Final thought

Stop waiting until you feel ready, fitter, thinner or more confident.

You don't have to earn the right to participate in your own life. Start where you are, do what you can and allow yourself to feel good about it.

You get to choose the story you tell yourself. Make it one that helps you move forward instead of one that keeps you standing on the sidelines.

Resources

If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more, some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.

https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share

Connect With Me

- Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com
- Instagram: @jennymcoaching
- LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching

If you're still figuring out your own version of "stop it, Jen," send me a message. I'll help you find it.

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

How do you know if a friendship is no longer good for you?

Pay attention to how you feel when you walk away. A true friend should leave you feeling supported and accepted - not judged, picked apart or smaller than you were before.

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for yourself, and even for the friendship, is take a step back.

In this episode, I'm talking about unhealthy friendships, setting boundaries and recognising when loyalty is keeping you connected to someone who may no longer be good for you.

After hearing about someone I admire being criticised and belittled by the very people she called her friends, I started thinking about what real friendship should actually feel like.

For me, a healthy friendship is built on trust, respect, honesty and reciprocity. It gives you the freedom to be yourself, celebrates your successes and allows you to speak openly when something doesn't feel right.

I also explore why knowing someone for a long time doesn't automatically make them a true friend, how judgmental questions can damage a relationship and what you can say when someone keeps questioning your decisions.

You don't always need a dramatic falling-out. Sometimes, quietly stepping back is enough.

What You Will Learn

- How to recognise the difference between a healthy and unhealthy friendship
- The signs that a friendship may have become one-sided
- Why loyalty and history aren't the same as true friendship
- How genuine friends respond when things are going well for you
- Why constantly trying to change or redirect another person is exhausting
- How giving someone the benefit of the doubt differs from accepting repeated bad behaviour
- Why "why" questions can feel judgmental and immediately put someone on the defensive
- Simple phrases you can use to shut down unwanted opinions
- How to set boundaries without causing a dramatic argument
- When it may be time to step back from or let go of a friendship

Resources

Join my weekly Sunday email list for real stories, honest teachings and practical support to help you feel a little less alone in whatever you're navigating:

https://jennymcoaching.com/emailme/

Follow me

Instagram: @jennymcoaching

LinkedIn: @JennyMaxwellCoaching

Final Thought

Take a moment to look honestly at the friendships in your life.

Who leaves you feeling lighter? Who genuinely celebrates your wins? Who accepts you as you are, and who regularly leaves you second-guessing yourself?

If someone continually judges your choices or tells you what you should be doing, have a simple response ready. You can borrow mine:

"Don't worry about it."

You don't have to justify every decision you make. You're allowed to protect your energy, take a step back and choose the relationships that feel loving, respectful and mutual.

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

I heaved a mini fridge out of the car by myself, stopped an argument with one calm sentence, and got a text from my son that stopped me in my tracks. This is what it looks like when you've done enough work on yourself that the hard things stop feeling like they're happening to you and start showing up as proof of something inside you.

Episode Description

A couple of Sundays ago I moved my youngest, Danny, into his college dorm in Chicago. All by myself. And I want to tell you the real version of that day, not the "oh Jenny, that must have been so hard" version. The mini fridge I heaved out of the car on my own. The Swiffer request I absolutely did not see coming. The one calm sentence that stopped an argument before it even started. The text from my older son Jonah that made me stop and get a little choked up. And then the Monday after, when it all caught up with me and I let it.

I'm also giving you this week's action step, something I actually used that day and the day after, when things started to feel hard. And near the end I want to ask you something I'm genuinely curious about, because it's shaping a little thing I'm building right now that I think some of you might need.

What you will learn

- The difference between hard things happening to you and hard things proving something in you
- My go-to 5-5-7 breathing technique for calming my nervous system in the moment (inhale for 5, hold for 5, exhale for 7)
- How one calm sentence - "I'm not doing this" - set a boundary and stopped a fight before it started
- The pattern interrupters I use when I catch myself spiralling: "stop it, Jen" and "this is happening"
- Why I let the hard feelings bubble up instead of pushing them down or performing "I'm okay"
- Choosing your hard, because life is hard either way, so it's really just a question of which hard you pick
- This week's action step: finding your own phrase to interrupt the spiral before it takes hold

Resources

If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more,some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.

https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share

Connect With Me

- Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com
- Instagram: @jennymcoaching
- LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching

If you're still figuring out your own version of "stop it, Jen," send me a message. I'll help you find it.

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

What if being the person who is always available isn't making you more professional; it's actually teaching clients and colleagues to expect constant access to you?

Answering emails at night. Responding to messages during dinner. Saying yes before you've even thought about whether you have the time or energy.

These habits can look like dedication and reliability. But over time, they can create unhealthy expectations, blurred professional boundaries, resentment and exhaustion.

In this episode, I'm talking about how the patterns you repeat at work quietly teach other people how to treat your time — and how to reset those expectations without becoming difficult, unreliable or creating unnecessary drama.

WORK WITH ME

If you recognise yourself in this episode - knowing a pattern isn't working but still finding it incredibly difficult to change - this is exactly the kind of work I do with my clients.

I help people understand what's driving the automatic yes, the over-responsibility and the pressure to keep everyone happy, and then change those patterns in a way that feels calm, practical and sustainable.

Ready to change how you're showing up at work and in your relationships?

→ Your First Step to Change: https://calendly.com/jennymcoaching/initial-call?month=2026-08

If you run a business or lead a team, you are constantly teaching the people around you what they can expect from you — often without realising it.

Every midnight email you answer, every request you immediately agree to and every problem you automatically take responsibility for helps establish a pattern.

In this episode, I share the story of a client who felt intense pressure to respond to messages immediately. Nobody had actually demanded instant access to her. But she had become so accustomed to being responsive that waiting felt risky.

What if a client thought she was ignoring them? What if she lost an opportunity? What if people stopped seeing her as reliable?

So she kept responding.

At 7pm. At 10pm. At weekends. Sometimes during dinner.

And without meaning to, she taught her clients that she was always available.

We worked on something surprisingly simple: noticing the urge to respond before acting on it and asking, "Do I actually want to respond right now?"

Sometimes the answer was yes.

Sometimes it was no.

And when she started waiting until morning, something important happened: nothing fell apart.

She didn't lose clients or opportunities. Instead, she became less resentful, less exhausted and more in control of her own time and energy.

That's what this episode is really about: recognising the professional patterns you may have accidentally created and learning how to establish healthier boundaries at work without a dramatic confrontation.

Because being available 24/7 isn't the same thing as being professional.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE

→ How your everyday behaviour teaches clients and colleagues what they can expect from you

→ Why answering emails and messages immediately can create an expectation of constant availability

→ The fear that can sit underneath overgiving, overworking and instant responses

→ Why changing an established professional pattern can initially feel risky

→ The simple question that can interrupt your automatic urge to respond

→ Why stronger boundaries can actually make you more professional, not less

→ How to reset client and workplace expectations gradually without a big confrontation

→ What happens when your automatic "yes" becomes your default response

→ How to identify one professional pattern that is currently costing you time, energy or peace

Resources

Free Video Guide: How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding

If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step.

Inside, I'll walk you through:

My MAP framework for difficult conversations.
A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information.
A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding.

You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/

Or contact me directly - Email: jenny@jennymcoaching.com

Connect with Jenny

Instagram: @JennyMCoaching
LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com