Have you ever been telling someone about a difficult day, only for them to jump straight in with advice you never asked for?

Or maybe you're the one who does the fixing. Someone you love is stressed, frustrated or upset, and before they've even finished talking, you're already thinking about what they should do.

I know that feeling because I've been there myself.

The problem is that even when our advice comes from a place of love, it doesn't always land that way.

In this week's episode, I'm talking about why we feel the need to fix other people's problems, how unwanted advice can create resentment in our relationships, and what we can do instead to become better listeners.

I'm sharing a conversation I had with a coaching client who noticed this pattern in her marriage, along with my own experiences of learning to listen differently as a parent.

And I'm giving you four simple questions you can start using today to improve communication, support the people you love and stop taking responsibility for problems that aren't yours to solve.

When someone we care about is struggling, our instinct is often to help them find a solution.

But here's something I've learned through my own personal growth and coaching work: sometimes people don't need your advice. They just need to feel heard.

Jumping in with solutions can unintentionally send the message that we don't trust the other person to work things out for themselves.

And that's where resentment can begin.

You feel frustrated because they aren't taking your advice. They feel frustrated because they never asked for it.

Neither of you intended to create distance, but suddenly you're both feeling a little less understood.

The good news? You can change this pattern, and it starts with curiosity.

- Why we instinctively try to fix other people's problems, even when they haven't asked for help.

- How unwanted advice can create frustration and resentment in relationships.

- The difference between listening to understand and listening to respond.

- Four practical questions that encourage better communication and emotional connection.

- How to stop taking responsibility for other people's feelings and decisions.

- Why curiosity is more powerful than judgment when someone is struggling.

- How to ask for emotional support when you're the one who needs to vent.

- How to use my Trigger, Pause, Respond approach to change your automatic reactions.

Learning to listen without jumping in to fix everything takes practice, especially when it's someone you love and you genuinely want to help.

In this episode, I want you to think about how you show up in those everyday conversations. Are you really listening to understand, or are you already working out what the other person should do next?

Small changes in how we communicate can make a big difference to our relationships. And sometimes, the best way to support someone isn't to offer a solution, but to give them the space to figure things out for themselves.

So this week, pay attention to that urge to fix. Get curious, notice your reactions and see what happens when you approach a conversation a little differently.

If you've enjoyed this episode and you'd like more practical tools to help you change old habits, improve your relationships and navigate everyday life with a little more awareness, I'd love you to join my weekly newsletter.

Every Sunday, I share real stories, honest reflections and practical action steps that go a little deeper than what I share on social media.

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Connect With Me

- Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com
- Instagram: @jennymcoaching
- LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

Have you ever desperately wanted to set the record straight with someone who has completely misunderstood you, even though deep down you know they probably won't listen?

Maybe it's a family member who insists on seeing you in a certain light. Maybe someone you love didn't defend you quite the way you'd hoped. Or perhaps you're lying awake at night, replaying a conversation and imagining all the things you wish you'd said.

I've been there. And I know just how much energy we can waste trying to change someone else's opinion of us.

In this episode, I'm talking about family boundaries, the need for validation, dealing with controlling family members, and why trying to prove yourself to someone who has already made up their mind rarely works.

I'm sharing a conversation with a client that brought up something I think so many of us struggle with: the difference between wanting someone to understand us and actually needing their approval.

And there's another important question I want you to consider: Who really gets a say in the decisions you make about your own life?

Because sometimes the healthiest boundary isn't a confrontation or a dramatic falling-out. Sometimes it's simply deciding that someone else's opinion doesn't need to carry so much weight.

In This Episode, I Explore:

- Why we feel the need to defend ourselves
- What happens when someone has created a version of us that simply isn't true, and why we become so determined to correct it.
- How a loved one's silence can send us spiralling into assumptions that aren't supported by the facts.
- Why some people refuse to see us differently
- Understanding why certain family members may be more invested in being right or maintaining control than actually listening.
- Setting boundaries without cutting people off

And much more

One of the things I've learned, both personally and through my work with clients, is that you can't make someone see you differently if they're determined to hold on to their version of you.

You can explain yourself beautifully. You can present all the evidence. You can have the perfect words ready.

And they still might not change their mind.

That's frustrating, particularly when it's someone in your family. But continuing to chase their understanding can

Resources

If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more, some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.

https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share

Connect With Me

- Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com
- Instagram: @jennymcoaching
- LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

When was the last time you argued about dinner… and it wasn't really about dinner?

The dishwasher. The weekend plans. The phone that gets more attention than the story you're telling. Small things can turn into big arguments, especially when you've been saying "it's fine" for weeks when it really isn't.

In this episode, I'm talking about why couples bicker over small things, how unspoken needs can build into resentment, and how to ask for what you want before another disagreement takes over your day.

I share a story from a coaching session where a client thought he was annoyed about lunch plans, spending money and a change of schedule. But underneath all those details was something he hadn't said out loud: "I want to be included."

If you've ever agreed to something to keep the peace and then stayed quietly furious about it, you'll recognise this one. I certainly do.

In this episode, I explore:

- Why everyday disagreements can leave you feeling unheard, unnoticed or left out.
- The difference between healthy compromise and saying yes when something really matters to you.
- How "whatever, it's fine" can create confusion and resentment in your relationship.
- Why expecting your partner to guess what's wrong can leave you both frustrated.
- Two moments to pause: before you snap, and before you swallow what you really want to say.
- My simple framework for asking for what you need: start with appreciation, make a clear request and explain how it helps you both.
- How these communication skills carry into conversations with your children, friends, clients and team.

The next time you catch yourself thinking, "We're arguing over nothing," ask yourself what you haven't said out loud yet. Do you want to feel included? Heard? Supported? I'd love you to pause long enough to name it. That gives you both something clearer to work with than another "it's fine" that neither of you believes.

Resources

If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more, some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.

https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share

Connect With Me

- Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com
- Instagram: @jennymcoaching
- LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching

If you're still figuring out your own version of "stop it, Jen," send me a message. I'll help you find it.

This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com