This week we’re taking a break between seasons in order to recalibrate our machines. That’s right, we’re SHUTTING IT DOWN! Bar Rescue style. Rob’s in Florida, shouting from his Ford Escape and Chris is practicing his butt funnel maneuvers as the two Taffer Blast ™ their way through one of the series’ most iconic episodes, “Rock ‘n’ Roaches,” about a bar known as Head Hunters that hosts bands that perform abortion simulations on stage, and may or may not be infested with cockroaches.

So for this episode, Chris and Rob pull back the doors, bust open the books, and dive into Bar Rescue.

If you’re enjoying these relaxed fit episodes, email us at worstmovieevermade@gmail.com, or click the link at www.theworstmovieevermade.com to let us know.

We kick off our new season next week with 2012’s Food Fight, and we're so, so, sorry.

Hey, Pachuco! We’re closing out season 28 with 1994’s The Mask. It holds up, just don’t watch the Jamie Kennedy one, which we covered ages ago as a regular episode. Now, like Napoleon, we’ll divide and conquer!

SOMEBODY STOP US!!!

Empathetic everyman from Edge City empowered and ensconced with egregious energy, enhancing every interaction, eccentrically enamoured with evil entrepreneur’s enchantress, escaping and evading enforcers, earning eminence through his enthralling expressions! Entity of expression encased in emerald! Dumpy industrial looking Detroit place! Cameron Diaz ink blotting her totters! Beetlejuice Broadway handjobs? Shrinkwrapped Adam Corolla, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we get into 1994’s The Cowboy way, where the toughest guy they could find for the antagonist was Dylan McDermott. Don’t worry, though, because one of the good True Detectives and Jack Bauer are on the case, and they’re … kinda pissed?

Let’s round ‘em up!

Perturbed Pepper, portrayed by perennially pompous patsy, patrols the polis with police and peckish partner per poncho’s prepared plea, pressing past punishing parasitic profiteer, pragmatically pushing pedestrians, playfully popping provokers with pepper grinding pelvic pulsing! Kevin Costner’s narrow, bitch-man face! Potato parfait! Captain America cutting boards! New batch of humanly trafficked! Puckering up to Sonny’s shit ass! Where was Papa Nacho?! Hats full of assholes! Shady Schwimmer gooning in the Big Apple! Sonny has no money! Short pants and stick horses! A calf sucking a man’s dick, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we take a bite out of 1994’s Tammy and the T-Rex, Paul Walker’s finest hour. This one’s confusing, but never not amusing. So grab your buddies balls with a firm grip, and let’s get right to it!

REEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Rambunctious Rex gets randy with really ‘rousing Richards, rightfully ravages reprehensible rabble rousers, ruminates on reality, rampages and riots without raping, and reacts realistically to radical research while roaming romantically! Tammy wants the gablow gabloo! A whole bunch of fiery fucking felines! Muscle man ugly girl comparison? Caveman Ken! Eating Billy’s fuck buddy! Drunkcle Bob’s barn! Bib boobied Helga! Bad credit name Tit Scope ™! Inconsistent mauling! Fresh vat water for cranial cummies, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we get into 2002’s The Hot Chick, starring Rob Schneider. He’s afraid to pee his pretty pink little panties, but don’t worry, he’ll lead you to believe that they’re his girlfriend’s panties, because everybody pees in their girlfriend’s panties. We hear you can put your weed in there too.

What a fucking tragedy of a movie, but we’d be lying if we didn’t laugh at a few things.

Flabbergasting Freaky Friday flipperoo with former funny friend of fatally unfunny franchise, forgetting favorable feedback, floundering through farcical female facsimile, frivolous flirting, fraudulent femininity, frat-boy foolishness, freakish facial expressions, flaccid fart-fueled funnybusiness, forced friendship, fashion faux pas, fornication-adjacent fiascos, fundamentally flawed filmmaking, and a frankly fucking fascinating failure. Clive in his recliner! Rob’s in his grilled kimcheese era! Sandler cameo? Triple dippy dumpster doopie! Billy blowing off the Clive Steam ™! Girl guy gay gags, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we revisit 1993’s Demolition Man, a movie that we did years ago, and are revisiting again for some reason. We’ve both seen this movie a hundred times, and will probably watch it a hundred more times, and the jury’s still out on whether this one is “bad” or not. Misunderstood satire? Youbetcha. Hunka Chunka with Sandra Bullock? Pass me the Baja Blast, and let’s get frisky, San Angeles style!

He felt three shells down by the … nevermind!

Terrible terrorist takes on tyrannical taco town, ‘ttacking thumb twiddling tactile task forces … thankfully, tenacious s’Tallone, takes time to trade tertiary ‘telligence, while tearing ‘tagonist a new tooshie! Chris’ ham cans! What’s an Asian movie bus?! Brain-style ball bag! The fiendish Simon Phoenix! Sea shell stink palm! Two-ply profanity paper peel offs! General Dickfoot! Thawed thugs unleashing hell, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Blow it out your ass, goofball, because we’re getting into 1990’s Alienator! It’s Fred Olen Ray, so you get what you get, and don’t get upset!

Let’s gooooo!

Penal planet prisoner pounces on parole, perturbing preternatural Predator ‘personator, who pounces on party pack, petty police, and ‘pugnant poachers, punishing by preying, pounding, pummeling, and pacing the precinct, paying off as parody pastiche… probably! Penultimately punishing all parties! Kol’s crime collar! Rick, the Bud chugging asshole! Carol Jessica Parker? Triple Clipsy dibble dabble! Kol’s backyard brain sesh, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week we get into 1989’s Gleaming the Cube. Christian Slater. Tony Hawk. Rodney Mullen pulling stunt duty. Pizza hut. Murder. Skating. Espionage? What the fuck is a cube gleam? There’s so much to talk about, so let’s get right on to it, shall we?

Rambunctious rapscallions ripping the road with reckless rage, rampantly remediating ‘rruption and ripping like renegades while ramping for revenge! Pizza Hut chases in the Terminator tunnel! Major Asian vibes! Super hose water cuts! Christian Slater, Anger Skater! Kevin Bacon angrily dancing! Rummaging through daddy’s desk! Gleamin’ in the streets, cubin’ in the sheets! Car chase cop sandwich thing?!

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