Self-trust isn’t something we develop once and never have to think about again. It’s an ongoing practice, and sometimes the places where we aren’t trusting ourselves aren’t immediately obvious.

We can see what is happening clearly, know how something is affecting us, and still override what we know by searching for more information, more understanding, or another explanation. We can also practice self-trust in the smallest everyday moments by responding to what we know we need instead of continually ignoring or questioning ourselves.

The more we practice responding to what we know, the more self-trust becomes something we actually move from rather than something we simply believe we have.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why self-trust is something we continue to practice, even after we’ve worked to develop it.
• How a lack of self-trust can show up in ways we may not immediately recognize.
• Why seeking more understanding can sometimes become a way of overriding what we already know.
• How responding to small signals from ourselves can help us practice self-trust.
• Why trusting ourselves includes being willing to act on what we know, even when other people see things differently.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it.

Join me over on Substack at The Better Question for more of what I’m thinking about and exploring: The Better Question

To get in touch about the show: ajarutledgecoaching@gmail.com

Thank you for listening to The Reality Between Us.

Shame can be shaping our lives without us even realizing it’s there. Unlike feelings we can easily recognize, shame can sit underneath our reactions, our beliefs about ourselves, and the way we interpret what is happening around us.

It can turn a mistake into evidence that something is wrong with us. It can change what we hear when someone brings a problem to us. And it can influence our relationships, the things we allow ourselves to receive, and even the things we say we want.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why shame can be difficult to recognize even when it is having a significant impact on our lives.
• How shame can become connected to other emotions and experiences.
• How shame can influence self-sabotage and the things we believe we deserve.
• Why shame can change how we hear and respond to other people in our relationships.
• How self-compassion and questioning our own perceptions can begin to interrupt shame.

“Shame is like one of those emotions that you really don’t know it’s coming into play. You really don’t understand the impact that it’s having on you.”

“Shame is what creates this perception of all-encompassing versus this one little issue that somebody addressed.”

“When you can question what you perceive reality to be, to quote-unquote fact check your reality, you can see if what you’re perceiving is adding up to.”

“Shame can direct your whole life.”

• Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
• Embracing Shame: How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally by Bret Lyon & Sheila Rubin
• Center for Healing Shame founded by Bret Lyon & Sheila Rubin

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it.

Join me over on Substack at The Better Question for more of what I’m thinking about and exploring: The Better Question

To get in touch about the show: ajarutledgecoaching@gmail.com

Thank you for listening to The Reality Between Us.

We can avoid our feelings, refuse to talk about them, or convince ourselves they aren't affecting us. But that doesn't mean they've disappeared. Our feelings are still showing up in how we behave, how we respond to other people, and what happens between us in our relationships.

Feelings also give us information. And when we don't take the time to understand what they're telling us, we can end up responding to the person in front of us for something that isn't entirely about them.

• Why avoiding or denying our feelings doesn't stop them from affecting our relationships.
• How feelings can give us information about what's happening within us.
• Why being unable to sit with our own feelings can make it difficult to hold space for someone else's.
• How trying to fix, minimize, or move someone through a feeling can sometimes be about our own discomfort with what they're feeling.
• Why the person who triggers a feeling isn't always the person the feeling is actually about.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it.

Join me over on Substack at The Better Question for more of what I’m thinking about and exploring. https://ajarutledge.substack.com/

To get in touch about the show: ajarutledgecoaching@gmail.com

Thank you for listening to The Reality Between Us.