We talk a lot about parenting.

But we don't talk nearly enough about being a daughter.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Allison Alford — communication scholar, professor at Baylor University, and author of Good Daughtering — to unpack the hidden emotional labor adult daughters carry inside their families.

We explore the invisible work, the guilt, the pressure to be "enough," and how daughters can set boundaries without walking away from the people they love. This isn't about cutting family off. It's about understanding your role, recalibrating it, and finding pride instead of burnout.

If you've ever felt like you're doing a lot… but it's never quite enough — this one will hit.

• What "daughtering" actually means (and why it's invisible)

• The "specter of expectation" and where guilt really comes from

• The difference between healthy families and the "messy middle"

• Why boundaries aren't magic — they're strategy

• How to shift your role even if no one else in your family changes

• Why being a daughter can be a noble pursuit — not just a burden

• What changes when daughters finally see the system clearly

00:00 – Intro + Texas roots & communication background
01:00 – "Not by magic": boundaries during the holidays
02:00 – Why she wrote Good Daughtering (research → real-world tools)
06:45 – Growing up with a therapist mom + learning to "talk about talking"
12:00 – Emotions A–Z vs A–F (communication differences in relationships)
16:00 – Generational healing, enmeshment & the "messy middle" family
20:00 – What "daughtering" actually means (visible + invisible labor)
23:30 – The guilt, pressure & the "specter of expectation"
26:00 – Where to begin: notice → calibrate → communicate
29:00 – When family won't change: boundaries + internal work
36:00 – Realizing the invisible labor in her own life
42:00 – Daughters as an untapped community
46:00 – Is daughtering a noble pursuit?
49:00 – What's inside the book (tools, scripts, boundary setting)
53:00 – What changes if daughters "see the Matrix"? + Release date

Dr. Allison Alford is a communication scholar and Clinical Associate Professor at Baylor University. Her research focuses on family communication, identity, and the overlooked emotional labor of adult daughters.

🌐 Website:
https://www.daughtering101.com

📸 Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/daughtering101

📘 Good Daughtering (Releases February 17, 2026):
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/good-daughtering-allison-m-alford

(You can also find it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, and other major retailers.)

In this episode, I'm honored to welcome Dr. Tracy Hicks, a dual-certified family and mental health nurse practitioner with over two decades of clinical experience—and a deeply personal connection to serious mental illness. Dr. Hicks is both the daughter of a parent and the mother of a child with schizophrenia spectrum disorders. Her perspective blends professional expertise with lived experience in a way that is both deeply compassionate and refreshingly practical.

We talk about what schizophrenia really is (and isn't), the impact of stigma on individuals and families, and the importance of person-centered, empathetic care. Dr. Hicks shares her personal journey—raising a daughter with serious mental illness while navigating barriers in the healthcare system—and offers guidance for both providers and caregivers who want to better support those living with schizophrenia.

This is a powerful and deeply human conversation for anyone touched by serious mental illness.

• What schizophrenia is and how it's commonly misunderstood

• Growing up with a parent who has schizophrenia

• Early warning signs and delays in diagnosis for her daughter

• How stigma and systemic bias impact treatment access and quality

• Long-acting injectable medications: what they are and why they matter

• Creating space for curiosity and shared decision-making in care

• How to support loved ones without losing yourself

• Advice for providers on building trust and improving outcomes

• The power of grace, boundaries, and self-care for caregivers

00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Tracy Hicks and her personal/professional background
03:00 – From nursing to psychiatry: building a whole-person care model
07:00 – Childhood memories of a parent with schizophrenia
11:00 – Explaining what schizophrenia is and is not
14:00 – Challenging stereotypes: what schizophrenia actually looks like
18:00 – Early signs in Dr. Hicks' daughter and missed opportunities for intervention
22:00 – Racism, bias, and provider assumptions
24:00 – Treatment begins with the story, not the symptoms
26:00 – Why empathy and curiosity matter more than credentials
28:00 – The question that opens everything: "What's your goal for today?"
32:00 – Including family and support systems in the care plan
36:00 – Communication shifts that changed lives
41:00 – What long-acting injectables are and how to present them as an option
47:00 – Combating clinical inertia and provider bias
51:00 – What Dr. Hicks would do differently as a parent
54:00 – Creating your own space when the system doesn't serve you
58:00 – Boundaries, burnout, and filling your own cup as a caregiver
1:02:00 – Final thoughts on stigma, advocacy, and asking for what you need
1:03:30 – Where to follow Dr. Hicks and access her work

• Website: https://www.cfcmentalhealthoutreach.org

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/drhicksnp

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• Send a message or question: https://www.duffthepsych.com/contact

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If this episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who could benefit. Conversations like this one can make a world of difference for people who feel alone in their experience.

Until next time, take care of yourself.

In this episode, I share the absolute honest truth about my life at the moment. I also talk about my focus for this year, the phrases I can't get out of my head, and the things I'm grateful for from the last year.

Let's do this.

Got a question for the show? Email duffthepsych@gmail.com or head over the http://duffthepsych.com/contact.

Watch the video at http://youtube.com/duffthepsych

Follow me on Instagram at http://instagram.com/duffthepsych and Facebook at http://facebook.com/duffthepsych

More writings and additional podcast content over at https://robertduff.substack.com/

In this heartfelt and candid episode, I'm joined by Chef Chris Valdes—TV personality, cookbook author, and lifelong culinary artist—to talk about his powerful personal journey through the culinary world and the mental health struggles he's faced along the way. From growing up in a Cuban restaurant in Miami to rising to national TV fame, Chris has seen both the bright lights and the dark corners of the kitchen. He shares stories of family, grief, hustle, and healing—including why he took a year off from everything to rediscover himself.

Whether you're in food service, struggling with burnout, or just love a good story with heart and spice, this one's for you.

Timestamps / Chapters:

[00:00:00] Intro & Chris's background
[00:03:00] Earliest food memory: the flan and whipped cream incident
[00:06:45] Growing up in a family restaurant
[00:08:30] Father's imprisonment and family disruption
[00:13:00] Early entrepreneurial spirit (orange hustling!)
[00:17:00] High school struggles & turning point with Le Cordon Bleu
[00:23:00] Launching his catering company at 19
[00:26:00] First experience with depression & thoughts of ending it
[00:29:00] Hitting a wall after a breakup & GMA meltdown
[00:33:00] Psychedelic healing ceremony in Malibu
[00:38:00] Rediscovering self through solitude, therapy, and boundaries
[00:43:00] Toxic kitchen culture and normalizing mental health discussions
[00:47:00] Holiday catering chaos and internal pressure
[00:52:00] Advice on rest, recovery, and choosing yourself
[00:56:00] What's next: books, new management, and the slow lane
[00:57:00] Signature nostalgic dish
[00:59:00] Go-to Latin spices (cumin, garlic, cilantro)
[01:01:00] What young Chris would say to 2025 Chris
[01:02:30] Where to follow and final thoughts

Links -
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chefchrisvaldes

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chefchrisvaldes

His cookbook - One With the Kitchen: https://www.amazon.com/One-Kitchen-Recipes-stories-inspired/dp/0578886456

Friends, welcome back to the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. This is my first interview back after a bit of a journey. I thought there was no better way to kick off this next phase of the podcast than by introducing you to a friend and brilliant human that I met in the interim.

Dr. Amy Andrea Martinez is a professor of sociology with a focus on Chicano gang culture, incarceration, and abolition. She is a total badass, and she gets vulnerable about her experiences in this conversation. We discuss how her younger brother's arrest, the development of her identity as a Xicana woman, her experiences with depression and suicidality, and her decision to build armor around her heart this year before diving back into the heart of academia and book-writing. I really hope you enjoy this one.

In this conversation, Dr. Martinez mentions this book: https://www.amazon.com/AM-Club-Morning-Elevate-Life/dp/1443456624

Stay connected:

Weekly newsletter: https://robertduff.substack.com – free tips, Q&A, and community updates.

My website: https://duffthepsych.com – articles, resources, and ways to work with me.

- Books & guides: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B00NDY4THK?ccs_id=5c5cac88-b920-4fc3-809c-f592ad3b55d3 – practical mental-health guides and workbooks.

- Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych – daily insights, behind-the-scenes, and community chats.

In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Duff returns to the mic after a hiatus to share what's been going on behind the scenes with The Hardcore Self Help Podcast. He opens up about an almost-acquisition of the show by a larger mental health organization—a deal that initially looked promising but ultimately fell through. With transparency and vulnerability, Dr. Duff reflects on the emotional and professional impact of that experience, explains why the podcast paused, and announces the exciting new direction it's headed in.

• Why the podcast went quiet for a while

• A behind-the-scenes look at the attempted acquisition of the show

• The emotional and logistical toll of being let down by a potential deal

• Reflections on past professional disappointments outside of clinical work

• What's next: rebranding, new episode formats, and a stronger emphasis on interviews

• Why connection and personal stories will be the heart of the podcast moving forward

• Dr. Duff's renewed commitment to amplifying diverse voices and lived experiences

• Updates on the "Bipolar Answers" audiobook and Substack content

• Thoughts on staying consistent while prioritizing quality over quantity

• 00:00 – 00:52 — Welcome back! What this episode is about

• 00:52 – 02:00 — The podcast was almost sold—here's how it started

• 02:00 – 03:26 — Meeting the company, expectations, and initial excitement

• 03:26 – 06:04 — Multiple meetings and flying out to pitch in person

• 06:04 – 08:00 — In-person meetings and positive vibes, but no details yet

• 08:00 – 10:24 — Delays, excuses, and finally: the deal falls through

• 10:24 – 12:25 — Processing the disappointment and reflecting on past letdowns

• 12:25 – 13:21 — Token compensation offered, but trust was broken

• 13:21 – 14:00 — What's next: staying open to future partnerships

• 14:00 – 15:22 — New focus: interviews over general Q&A

• 15:22 – 16:48 — The unique value of human connection in storytelling

• 16:48 – 17:15 — Rebranding plans and more diverse guest features

• 17:15 – 18:17 — Finishing the audiobook, editing, and prepping new interviews

• 18:17 – 19:05 — Where to find Dr. Duff in the meantime and the new YouTube direction

• Website: https://duffthepsych.com

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

• Substack: https://robertduff.substack.com

If you're excited about the return of the podcast, be sure to subscribe, share the new episodes with your community, and leave a review wherever you listen. Every bit of support helps relaunch this phoenix from the ashes.