Everyone thought we were OK.

Because we were functioning. We weren’t.

Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide.

This episode is about the stage of grief where life has resumed but the weight has not lifted. When support fades, messages slow down, and you start carrying everything quietly.

We talk about functioning without being OK, deciding not to bring it up, and what happens to the things you start holding in.

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Christmas can amplify grief.
The build up. The pressure to be OK. The empty moments nobody sees.

Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide

In this special episode we talk about what Christmas really feels like after loss. The moments that catch you off guard, the guilt when you laugh, opting out when you need to, and what genuinely helped.

If this reaches you, follow the podcast so you don’t have to carry it alone.

Full video on YouTube. Clips on Instagram and TikTok.

After the funeral, the messages stop and everything feels different.

Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide.

We talk about the first weeks after the funeral. The guilt. The silence. Trying to function. Wanting to talk and not wanting to talk. And how grief changes once the support fades and real life starts again.

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Episode 4 is about the days that followed. Eight to nine weeks into grief, when anger shows up and coping looks different for everyone.

**Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide.**

We talk honestly about how we’re really doing, preparing for the eulogy, counselling, music, memory, and how two people can grieve the same person in completely different ways.

This is part one of the days that followed.

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Episode 3 is the day everything changed.
This is the moment we found out Mike had taken his life and the hours and days that followed.

Trigger warning: this episode discusses suicide and sudden loss.

We talk honestly about the first twenty four hours after losing someone you love. The shock. The silence. The disbelief.

Thank you for listening. New episodes every Wednesday.
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** Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions about mental health challenges, including references to suicide. These topics may be distressing for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and feel free to skip this episode if you need to. If you or someone you know is struggling, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or local support hotline for help **

Mike’s journey into looked steady from a distance, but privately he was carrying grief, pressure and moments that changed him. Losing another close friend. Trying to hold himself together. Slowly drifting into isolation without anyone realising how far it had gone.

This episode opens up the parts people never saw:
• the weight changes and bulimia he hid
• the distance that grew between him and everyone else
• the nights he went missing
• the small signs that something was slipping
• the good days that kept getting shorter

There were still flashes of who he really was. The Mike who spoke openly about mental health on local TV. The Mike who tried to pull himself back when he felt stronger. The Mike who kept going even as the difficult episodes became more frequent.

This is the truth of who he was. Honest. Human. Trying his best in ways he rarely showed.

Everything here leads directly to the moment everything changed in Episode 3.

New episodes every Wednesday.

** Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions about mental health challenges, including references to suicide. These topics may be distressing for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and feel free to skip this episode if you need to. If you or someone you know is struggling, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or local support hotline for help **

Episode 1 is us going back to who Mike was when we were kids.
The stupid stuff, the daft confidence, the things he did that still make us laugh now.
This isn’t a story about “signs” or warnings. It’s just the truth of what he was like back then — the small memories you only have of someone you grew up with.
Before everything got heavy.
Before any of us understood what he was carrying.
This is Mike as a boy.

For Mike.