Épisodes

  • Unarmed: Joe Smarro on First Responder Mental Health
    May 12 2026
    Joe Smarro walked away from a Marine uniform, a badge, and a gun belt that almost ended his life, and walked straight into the work of healing himself and the first responders nobody else was checking on. This conversation is about what it really takes to take off the mask, do the work, and become the kind of human who gives other people permission to do the same. Awards & Downloads Brought to you by the 2024 and 2026 award-winning podcast Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, a 2026 Women Podcasters Awards nominee in the Mindset and Mental Health category and honored among the Influential Women 2026 Women of the Year, with 4.5 million plus downloads across 160 plus countries and counting in Season 17. Feedback Link We'd love to hear what landed for you in this episode. Leave us a voice or text note here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote "There's so much freedom on the other side of your suffering. There's so much freedom on the other side of your fear." Joe Smarro Episode Description Joe Smarro is a Marine Corps combat veteran, former San Antonio Police Officer, co-founder of one of the country's first Mental Health Units, and the kind of man who'll tell you exactly how close he came to not being here. In this episode, Joe sits down with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to share the story behind his Emmy-winning HBO documentary Ernie and Joe: Crisis Cops, his book Unarmed, and the moment he chose therapy over the gun belt sitting next to him. This is a raw, hopeful, and surprisingly funny conversation about childhood trauma, an ACES score of nine, PTSD, persistent depressive disorder, and the addiction patterns that ran his life until he stopped running from himself. Joe shares why he believes therapy is a relationship, and most people just haven't found the right partner yet, why he started attending SLAA meetings at 44, and why he gets up every day, names his alarm clock with affirmations, and practices three points of reflection before his feet hit the floor. If you've ever worn a mask so tight you forgot what your real face felt like, this one's for you. Joe gives men, first responders, veterans, and anyone with a hard story permission to stop pretending and start healing. We talk masculine vulnerability, suicide prevention, scars versus scabs, the "selfish AF" approach to wellness, radical self-responsibility, and what it actually looks like to live on the other side of trauma. Keywords: first responder mental health, PTSD recovery, veteran mental health, suicide prevention, childhood trauma, ACES score, Joe Smarro, Unarmed book, Ernie and Joe Crisis Cops, masculine vulnerability, de-escalation, police mental health, trauma healing, therapy for men, addiction recovery Meet Our Guest Joe Smarro is a decorated Marine Corps combat veteran, former San Antonio Police Officer, co-founder of the SAPD Mental Health Unit, TEDx speaker, and bestselling Author of Unarmed: De-escalation Techniques to Cultivate Courage, Compassion, and Connection and 12 Laws of Maximizing the Human Experience. He's the founder and CEO of SolutionPoint+, a national consulting firm focused on mental wellness, resiliency, and crisis response training for first responders, public safety, public transit, and corporate clients. When he's not on stage or in a hotel somewhere in North America, you'll find him on the golf course. Connect with Joe: Website: https://www.joesmarro.com Company: https://www.solutionpointplus.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joesmarro Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/josephsmarro Documentary: Ernie and Joe: Crisis Cops on HBO Max Key Takeaways Share from a scar, not a scab. Healing first, then teaching. Joe waited until his wounds had closed before he started talking about them publicly, and that's why his story actually helps people.Therapy is a relationship, not a one-time experiment. If the first therapist didn't fit, that doesn't mean therapy doesn't work. It means you haven't found your person yet."Selfish AF" is not a personality flaw. It's self-awareness, self-love, and self-care so you can actually show up for the people you love.Take radical responsibility for the life you're living now. Bad things happened to you, and they weren't your fault. What you do with them today is.Hope and curiosity keep you moving. Not motivation. Not hustle. Curiosity about what life looks like on the other side of the work. Actionable Items Build your own three points of reflection. Each morning, ask yourself where you are, why you're there, and who contributed to you being there.Find three new things you're grateful for every day, and they cannot repeat. This forces you to hunt for the good rather than run on autopilot.Identify the biggest fear holding you back right now and take one small step toward it this week. References Mentioned Book: Unarmed by Joe Smarro, available at https://www.joesmarro.comDocumentary: Ernie and Joe: Crisis Cops on HBO MaxTEDx Talk: "I See You" ...
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    45 min
  • Part 2: Deane’s Healing: Hypnosis, the Subconscious Mind, and Taking It Back
    May 7 2026
    What if healing is not about going back and reliving everything that hurt you? In Part 2, Deane shares how hypnosis helped him change the way his mind responds and how that changed everything. Awards & Downloads Line Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback Link Line We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote “You don’t have to relive your trauma to heal it. You just need a new way to respond.” — Deane Benninghoven A Word From Our Sponsor — Cozy Earth Burnout is real. So is the moment when you finally slow down. Cozy Earth is built for that moment. Their robes and slippers are designed to help you actually rest, not just crash. If you spend most of your time taking care of everyone else, this is your reminder that you deserve care too. Head to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code OURHEADS for 20% off. Episode Description This is where things start to make sense. In Part 2, Deane explains how hypnosis works in a way that feels practical and grounded. No gimmicks. No loss of control. Just a better understanding of how your mind actually operates. Anxiety is not random. It is learned. It is your brain trying to protect you based on past experiences. The problem is that those responses do not always match your life today. That is where people get stuck. Deane walks through how hypnosis helps you access the subconscious mind, where those patterns live. He also shares simple tools, like creating an anchor, that can help you interrupt anxiety in the moment and start building a different response. This part of the conversation is about taking your power back. Not in a loud or dramatic way. In a steady, repeatable way that actually works over time. G-Rex and Dirty Skittles ask the questions people are already thinking. What if it does not work? What if you have tried before? What if you feel stuck? The answer is not perfection. It is practice. Part 2 shows that healing is not about becoming someone new. It is about finally working with the mind you already have. Keywords: Deane Benninghoven, hypnosis, hypnotherapy, subconscious mind, anxiety relief, trauma healing, emotional regulation, self-hypnosis, behavior change, nervous system, mental health tools, healing journey Meet Our Guest — Deane Benninghoven Deane Benninghoven is a hypnotherapist and the founder of Summit Hypnosis NW. He specializes in helping people work through anxiety, chronic pain, and trauma by addressing subconscious patterns. His approach is practical, collaborative, and grounded in real-life experience. Website: https://www.summithnosisnw.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/summithnosisnw/ Key Takeaways Hypnosis works by accessing the part of the mind where patterns are storedAnxiety is often a learned response, not a permanent conditionYou do not need to relive trauma to heal from itSimple tools can help regulate emotions in real timeRepetition is what creates lasting changeHealing is about building new responses, not just understanding old ones Actionable Items Create a simple grounding action you can use during stressPractice reconnecting with a positive memory and how it feelsThink about the version of yourself you want to become and take one step toward it References Mentioned Summit Hypnosis NWhttps://www.summithnosisnw.com/ Important Chapters 00:00 Welcome to Part 200:01:00 Anxiety explained00:03:00 Anchors and emotional regulation00:06:00 Healing without reliving trauma00:10:00 Subconscious patterns00:15:00 Everyday use of hypnosis00:20:00 Working with kids00:25:00 Advice to younger self00:35:00 Closing Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and Review!Remember to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #Hypnotherapy #SubconsciousMind #AnxietyRelief #TraumaHealing #EmotionalRegulation #SelfHypnosis #MindBodyConnection #HealingTools #PersonalGrowth #MentalWellness ***************************************************************************If You Need Support, Reach OutIf you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.orgCanada: Call or Text 988 — 988.caWorldwide: Find a HelplineMental Health Resources and Tools: The Help HubStay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesOfficial Website: ...
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    40 min
  • Part 1: Deane’s Story: Trauma, Chronic Pain, and Losing Control
    May 5 2026
    What happens when your body stops cooperating, and your life starts slipping through your hands? G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Deane to talk about chronic pain, trauma, and what it feels like when everything you built no longer works. Awards & Downloads Line Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback Link Line We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote “I didn’t see a way forward… until I found even the smallest glimmer of hope.” — Deane Benninghoven A Word From Our Sponsor — Cozy Earth Burnout is real. So is the moment when you finally slow down. Cozy Earth is built for that moment. Their robes and slippers are designed to help you actually rest, not just collapse at the end of a long day. If you spend most of your time taking care of everyone else, this is your reminder that you deserve care too. Head to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code OURHEADS for 20% off. Episode Description Before anything started to get better, things got really dark. In Part 1, Deane shares what it was like to go from building a life as an artist to losing control of his body after a serious car accident. The pain was constant. It was intense. And like many people, he was pushed toward opioids as the answer. That path only made things worse. This conversation goes beyond physical pain. Deane talks about growing up with abuse, carrying anger for years, and dealing with the kind of internal voice that tells you there is no way forward. When you lose your identity, your purpose, and your ability to function the way you used to, it messes with everything. G-Rex and Dirty Skittles don’t rush past that. They sit in it with him. Because this is the part most people skip. The part where you feel stuck, exhausted, and unsure if anything will actually help. But a shift is starting here. Not a big breakthrough yet. Just a moment of curiosity. A small opening. Part 1 is about telling the truth about what it feels like to be at your lowest. Because you cannot heal what you refuse to look at. Keywords: Deane Benninghoven, trauma, chronic pain, depression, opioid recovery, anxiety, childhood trauma, mental health podcast, emotional healing, identity loss, mental health awareness, healing journey Meet Our Guest — Deane Benninghoven Deane Benninghoven is a hypnotherapist and the founder of Summit Hypnosis NW. He helps people work through chronic pain, anxiety, and trauma by focusing on the subconscious patterns that drive those experiences. His work is rooted in his own journey through pain, addiction, and recovery. Website: https://www.summithypnosisnw.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/summithnosisnw/ Key Takeaways Chronic pain is not just physical. It is connected to emotional and mental patternsTrauma can shape how you see yourself long before you realize itQuick fixes like medication do not always solve deeper issuesThe way you talk to yourself matters more than you thinkChange can start with something small, even just curiosity Actionable Items Pay attention to your internal dialogue during hard momentsBe honest about what you are feeling instead of pushing it downStay open to different approaches to healing References Mentioned Therapeutic hypnosis for pain management Important Chapters 00:00 Welcome and introduction00:02:00 The accident and what changed00:04:00 Living with chronic pain00:06:30 Depression and identity loss00:08:30 Childhood trauma and belief systems00:12:00 Discovering hypnosis00:18:00 Pain and the subconscious Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and Review!Remember to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #ChronicPain #TraumaHealing #DepressionSupport #OpioidRecovery #AnxietyAwareness #HealingJourney #EmotionalWellness #MentalHealthMatters #SubconsciousMind #PainManagement ***************************************************************************If You Need Support, Reach OutIf you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.orgCanada: Call or Text 988 — 988.caWorldwide: Find a HelplineMental Health Resources and Tools: The Help HubStay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesOfficial Website: goesoninourheads.netFacebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheadsInstagram:...
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    36 min
  • Shari B. Kaplan on Anxiety, Pain, and the Truth About Plant-Based Healing
    Apr 30 2026
    What if anxiety and pain are not problems to eliminate, but signals your body is trying to send you? In part two, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles continue the conversation with Shari B. Kaplan and get real about plant-based healing, nervous system balance, and taking back control of your health. Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback Link Line We would love to hear your thoughts. Leave us written or voice feedback here:https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote “You can use the medicine, but you still have to show up and change your life.” — Shari B. Kaplan Community Spotlight and Sponsor Support Vote for Us — Women Podcasters Awards We have been nominated for the 2026 Women Podcasters Awards in the Mindset and Mental Health category. If this podcast has helped you, we would appreciate your support. Vote here:https://www.womenpodcasters.com/awards-voting Voting is open through April 30th at 6 PM PST One vote per person. Duplicate votes will not count. A Quick Word From Our Sponsor — Cozy Earth Burnout is real, and so is the moment when you finally slow down. Cozy Earth is built for that moment. Their robes and slippers are designed to help you actually rest, not just crash. If you are always taking care of everyone else, this is your reminder that you deserve care, too. Head to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code OURHEADS for 20% off. Episode Description In part two, Shari B. Kaplan breaks down one of the most talked-about and misunderstood topics in mental health right now, plant-based healing. From cannabis to herbal medicine, she explains how these tools can support anxiety, pain, and overall balance in the body when they are used intentionally. G-Rex and Dirty Skittles bring their own experiences into the conversation, sharing what it is like to live with anxiety and chronic pain, and how they have navigated different approaches to treatment. What stands out most is the reminder that no tool works on its own. Real healing requires participation. Movement matters. Breathing matters. Awareness matters. They also talk about humor, how it can interrupt negative thinking, and why learning to shift your internal dialogue can change how you experience your day. If you are curious about natural approaches to mental health or looking for new ways to manage anxiety and pain, this episode gives you practical insight in a way that feels real and grounded. Keywords: Shari B. Kaplan, anxiety relief, plant medicine, cannabis for mental health, chronic pain, holistic healing, endocannabinoid system, natural remedies, emotional healing, trauma recovery, nervous system regulation, alternative medicine Meet Our Guest — Shari B. Kaplan Shari B. Kaplan, LCSW, is an integrative mental health and trauma specialist and the founder of Cannectd Wellness, where she combines psychotherapy, plant medicine, and holistic approaches to support long-term healing. Website: https://www.cannectd.comMeet Shari: https://www.cannectd.com/meet-sharibkaplanInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sharibkaplan/Instagram (Cannectd): https://www.instagram.com/cannectd/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shari-b-kaplan-lcsw-180b1682 Key Takeaways Anxiety and pain are signals from the bodyPlant medicine works best when combined with daily habitsBalance in the body supports healingHumor can shift your mindset quicklyYou have more control over your healing than you think Actionable Items Start low and go slow if exploring plant-based options where legalMove your body daily, even in small waysCreate a simple “joy trigger” that helps reset your mood Important Chapters 00:00 – Reframing negative self-talk08:00 – Finding joy in small moments18:00 – Plant-based medicine explained28:00 – Anxiety, pain, and cannabis40:00 – Movement and healing50:00 – Final reflections Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and ReviewRemember to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our website:https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #AnxietyRelief #PlantMedicine #CannabisEducation #ChronicPainRelief #HolisticHealing #NaturalMentalHealth #HealingJourney #MindBodyConnection #AlternativeMedicine ***************************************************************************If You Need Support, Reach OutIf you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.United States: Call or Text 988 — ...
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    52 min
  • How Shari B. Kaplan Turned Trauma into Purpose Through Holistic Mental Health
    Apr 28 2026
    What if the hardest moments in your life were not breaking you, but shaping you? In part one, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Shari B. Kaplan to talk about trauma, identity, and what it really takes to reconnect with yourself. Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback Link Line We would love to hear your thoughts. Leave us written or voice feedback here:https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote “Remember who the fuck you are, because healing starts when you reconnect with yourself.” — Shari B. Kaplan Community Spotlight and Sponsor Support Vote for Us — Women Podcasters Awards We have been nominated for the 2026 Women Podcasters Awards in the Mindset and Mental Health category. This one means a lot. What started as real, sometimes messy conversations has grown into a space where people feel seen, heard, and a little less alone. That only happened because of you. If this podcast has ever helped you feel understood, even for a moment, we would truly appreciate your vote. Vote here:https://www.womenpodcasters.com/awards-voting Voting is open through April 30th at 6 PM PST How to vote: Click the linkSelect the vote buttonComplete the form Only one vote per person and email is allowed, and duplicates will not count. Thank you for being part of this journey with us. A Quick Word From Our Sponsor — Cozy Earth We talk a lot on this show about burnout, anxiety, and carrying too much for too long. Cozy Earth is about what happens when you finally slow down, when you finally get a moment to breathe. Their robes and slippers are designed to feel like they exhale at the end of a long day. Soft, simple, and made for real life. Think about the people in your life who give everything. When was the last time they felt taken care of? This is your reminder that comfort matters, and you deserve it too. Head to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code OURHEADS for 20% off. Episode Description Shari B. Kaplan does not just talk about healing; she has lived it, worked through it, and built her life around helping others do the same. In this first part of a two-part conversation, she sits down with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to share how early life experiences, including head trauma and personal challenges, shaped the way she understands mental health today. From discovering meditation at a young age to navigating dyslexia, performance pressure, and difficult life decisions, Shari walks us through the moments that changed everything. What stands out most is her belief that we have more choice than we think, even when life feels overwhelming. This episode also challenges the way most people think about meditation. It is not about sitting still or clearing your mind. It is about finding something that works for your brain, your body, and your reality. The conversation also gets real about therapy. How do you find the right person? What questions should you ask? And why does the right fit matter so much? If you have ever felt disconnected, stuck, or unsure where to start, this episode brings it back to something simple. Start where you are, stay curious, and give yourself permission to figure it out. Keywords: Shari B. Kaplan, trauma healing, holistic mental health, meditation, ADHD, emotional healing, mind body connection, therapy, nervous system regulation, self awareness, mental wellness, identity, healing journey, mindfulness Meet Our Guest — Shari B. Kaplan Shari B. Kaplan, LCSW, is an integrative mental health and trauma specialist and the founder of Cannectd Wellness, a holistic mental health and plant medicine center in Florida. With more than 30 years of experience, she blends psychotherapy, trauma protocols, plant medicine, and mind-body practices to support full mind-body-spirit healing. Website: https://www.cannectd.comMeet Shari: https://www.cannectd.com/meet-sharibkaplanInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sharibkaplan/Instagram (Cannectd): https://www.instagram.com/cannectd/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shari-b-kaplan-lcsw-180b1682 Key Takeaways Healing starts when you reconnect with who you areMeditation should work for your brain, not against itTrauma lives in the body, but so does healingYou have more control over your day than you thinkThe right therapist can change everything Actionable Items Try different styles of meditation until something feels rightSet one intention each morning for how you want your day to feelTalk to more than one therapist before choosing who to work with Important Chapters 00:00 – Meet Shari B. Kaplan03:00 – Early trauma and discovering meditation10:00 – Rethinking meditation for ADHD18:00 – Finding ...
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    43 min
  • The Invisible Rulebook
    Apr 24 2026
    What happens when you’re doing everything “right”… but it still feels wrong? In this powerful podcast swap, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles bring you Renee Swanson from The Covert Narcissism Podcast as she breaks down the invisible rules that quietly shape toxic relationships—and why none of it was ever your fault. Awards & Downloads Line Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback Link Line We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote “Healthy relationships do not require you to memorize a rulebook just to exist.” — Renee Swanson Episode Description This episode hits differently—and that’s intentional. As part of a podcast swap, we’re sharing an episode from Renee Swanson, host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast, and it’s one that puts words to something so many people feel but struggle to explain. Renee dives deep into what she calls “the invisible rulebook”—the unspoken, ever-changing expectations that shape unhealthy relationships. These aren’t normal compromises or shared agreements. These are confusing, often contradictory rules that leave you constantly second-guessing yourself, walking on eggshells, and feeling like you’re always getting it wrong… even when no one ever told you what “right” was. Through real stories from her community, Renee highlights how these dynamics show up in everyday life—what seems small on the surface becomes a source of tension, blame, or control. Over time, this creates a cycle of hypervigilance, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion. What makes this conversation so powerful is the clarity it brings. It’s not about the rules themselves—it’s about the environment they create. A lack of mutual respect, flexibility, and emotional safety slowly erodes your sense of self. This episode is a reminder that if something feels off, there’s a reason. And more importantly, it’s not you. Keywords: covert narcissism, invisible rules, emotional abuse, toxic relationships, self-doubt, gaslighting, relationship anxiety, boundaries, emotional manipulation, mental health awareness, healing journey, self-trust, trauma recovery, personal growth Meet the Host — Renee Swanson Renee Swanson is the host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast and a coach dedicated to helping individuals understand and heal from emotionally manipulative and narcissistic relationship dynamics. Through her work, she brings clarity to confusion and empowers people to rebuild trust in themselves after years of self-doubt. Website: https://covertnarcissism.com/ Key Takeaways The problem isn’t the “rules”—it’s the environment they createFeeling like you’re always wrong is often a conditioned response, not realityControl in toxic relationships often hides in small, everyday interactionsDouble standards are a major red flag in unhealthy dynamicsSelf-doubt grows when you’re constantly managing someone else’s reactionsHealthy relationships allow space for two humans to exist without shrinking Actionable Items When you feel self-doubt, ask: “Are the expectations clear—or constantly changing?”Practice noticing where you feel calm vs. where you feel like you’re “performing.”Remind yourself daily: “I don’t need a rulebook to exist in a healthy relationship.” Important Chapters 00:00:00 – G-Rex introduces the podcast swap and the concept of “getting it wrong.”00:01:07 – Renee explains the invisible rulebook and community-driven stories00:04:00 – Why it’s not about the rules—it’s about the environment00:07:00 – Real-life examples of no-win scenarios in relationships00:12:00 – The emotional toll of constantly anticipating someone else’s needs00:17:00 – Control disguised as preferences and everyday habits00:21:00 – How small rules create long-term psychological impact00:23:00 – The erosion of identity and confidence over time00:24:40 – The truth: you were never the problem00:25:00 – What healthy relationships actually look like Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and Review!Remember to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #CovertNarcissism #ToxicRelationships #EmotionalAbuseRecovery #GaslightingAwareness #SelfTrust #HealingJourney #BoundariesMatter #RelationshipDynamics #EmotionalWellbeing #TraumaHealing #PodcastSwap #SelfWorth #MentalHealthEducation ***********************************************...
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    28 min
  • Louis Kim on Finding Purpose After Success: Why Money Won’t Fix Your Mental Health
    Apr 21 2026
    What happens when you build the life you thought you were supposed to want—money, success, freedom, and still wake up feeling empty? In this raw and honest conversation, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Louis Kim to unpack the quiet truth so many people are afraid to admit: external success doesn’t heal internal pain. Lou shares his journey through identity struggles, multiple suicide attempts, and a decade-long path of self-discovery that forced him to rethink everything he believed about happiness, purpose, and what it really means to feel alive. Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback Link Line We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Special Announcements Vote for Us — Women Podcasters Awards I’m incredibly proud to share that we have been nominated in the 2026 Women Podcasters Awards in the Mindset & Mental Health category. This recognition means more than words can capture. What started as honest, sometimes messy conversations has grown into something bigger—a space where people feel seen, heard, and a little less alone. Now we have a chance to grow that impact even further, and your support would mean everything. Vote here:https://www.womenpodcasters.com/awards-voting Voting is open now through April 30th at 6 PM PST Voting is simple:• Click the link• Select the vote button• Complete the form Please note: only one vote per person and email address is allowed, and duplicate submissions will not be counted. Thank you for being part of this journey—whether you’ve listened, shared, or supported in any way. A Quick Word From Our Sponsor — Cozy Earth This episode is brought to you by Cozy Earth—and honestly, this one hits home. We talk a lot on this show about burnout, anxiety, and carrying way too much for way too long. Cozy Earth is about bringing comfort back into those quiet, in-between moments—the ones where you finally get to exhale. Their robes and slippers are designed to feel like a deep breath at the end of a long day—soft, intentional, and made to support real life. Think about the women in your life—the ones who give endlessly. When was the last time they got that same level of care back? This is your reminder: comfort matters. And you deserve it, too. Head to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code OURHEADS for 20% off.Because the people who give the most should feel taken care of, too. Meet Our Guest — Louis Kim Louis Kim is a Korean-American entrepreneur, Founder of Yusan Capital, and a leader in what he calls “Connected Capitalism.” After building and selling a successful business, Louis found himself facing deep inner struggles that led him on a path of self-discovery, spiritual awakening, and heart-centered leadership. Today, he bridges the worlds of business and inner work, helping others understand that true success starts within. Website: http://www.loukim.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/partsoflou/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@partsoflou/ Mental Health Quote “If you’re unhappy without money, you’ll just be more miserable with it. Real fulfillment comes from within.” — Louis Kim Episode Description Louis Kim did everything right, built the business, made the money, and checked every box society tells us should equal happiness. But behind the success, he was struggling in silence. In this deeply honest conversation, Louis shares what it felt like to reach the top, realize something was still missing, and how that realization led him into one of the hardest, yet most transformative, chapters of his life. Sitting down with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles, Louis opens up about surviving multiple suicide attempts, navigating identity struggles as the child of immigrants, and confronting the uncomfortable truth that external achievements can’t replace internal fulfillment. What followed wasn’t a quick fix—it was a decade-long journey of self-discovery, letting go, and rebuilding from the inside out. This episode explores the power of gratitude, the importance of self-love, and why chasing joy will always take you further than chasing money. Louis also shares how his perspective on leadership has evolved, and what it really means to live authentically in a world that constantly pushes you to perform. If you’ve ever felt like you should be happier than you are, this conversation will hit home—and remind you that purpose isn’t something you find outside of yourself. It’s something you build from within. Keywords: Louis Kim, mental health podcast, finding purpose, success and happiness, suicide survival, ...
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    52 min
  • Covert Narcissism and Self-Blame Why You Always Feel Like You’re the Problem
    Apr 16 2026
    What happens when you keep walking away from conversations, feeling like everything is somehow your fault? In this special podcast swap, we’re sharing a powerful episode from Renee Swanson of The Covert Narcissism Podcast—one that breaks down the emotional weight of self-blame and why so many of us carry responsibility that was never ours to begin with. This isn’t our usual format, but it’s one we believe matters—and we truly hope you walk away from this episode learning something that shifts how you see yourself and your relationships. Mental Health Quote “Maybe you’re not the problem. Maybe you were just trying to be normal in a place that couldn’t tolerate normal.” — Renee Swanson Episode Description This episode is something a little different—and very intentional. As part of a podcast swap, we’re featuring a powerful episode from Renee Swanson, host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast. And honestly? This is one we knew our listeners needed to hear. Renee walks us through the subtle, often invisible dynamics of covert narcissism and self-blame—the kind that doesn’t show up as obvious conflict but instead leaves you questioning yourself after completely normal interactions. Through real-life scenarios, she unpacks how everyday conversations can twist, leaving you carrying guilt, confusion, and responsibility that were never yours. We explore what it means to be a self-reflective person in an unhealthy dynamic, how emotional intelligence can be quietly exploited, and why some relationships make you feel like you’re constantly getting it wrong. Renee also introduces the idea of internal boundaries—simple but powerful shifts that help you stop absorbing someone else’s tension and start trusting your own reality again. This episode hits deep because it puts words to something so many people feel but struggle to explain. And that’s exactly why we wanted to bring it to you. We’re honored to share Renee’s work on our platform, and we hope you take something real, grounding, and empowering from this conversation—because understanding this dynamic can truly change how you show up in your life and your relationships. Keywords: covert narcissism, self-blame, emotional abuse, toxic relationships, mental health awareness, gaslighting, self-worth, emotional intelligence, boundaries, healing journey, trauma recovery, self-trust, relationship patterns, personal growth Meet the Host — Renee Swanson Renee Swanson is the host of The Covert Narcissism Podcast and a coach dedicated to helping individuals understand and heal from emotionally manipulative and narcissistic relationship dynamics. Through her work, she provides clarity, validation, and practical tools for those navigating confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion. Website: https://covertnarcissism.com/ Key Takeaways Not every emotional reaction directed at you belongs to you Self-reflection is a strength—but in the wrong environment, it can be used against you Feeling like “the problem” is often a learned pattern, not the truth Healthy relationships can handle normal communication without turning it into conflict Internal boundaries help you separate your emotions from someone else’s tension Patterns of self-doubt around specific people are important signals, not coincidences Actionable Items When self-blame shows up, pause and ask: “Who was I interacting with?” Practice the boundary: “I will not internalize someone else’s tension.” Notice where you feel grounded versus where you feel anxious or “too much”—and trust that awareness Important Chapters 00:00:00 – G-Rex introduces the podcast swap and why this episode matters 00:00:25 – Renee sets the stage: when something feels off but you can’t explain why 00:01:07 – The kitchen scenario: how normal conversations turn into self-blame 00:04:29 – Understanding emotional offloading and the “pressure release valve” dynamic 00:06:14 – The long-term cost of self-erasure in relationships 00:07:32 – Why everyday questions become “problems” in unhealthy dynamics 00:08:21 – Workplace example: how self-doubt spreads beyond relationships 00:12:11 – The grounding question that shifts your perspective 00:13:41 – Why self-reflective people are more vulnerable in these dynamics 00:15:55 – How covert narcissism exploits emotional intelligence 00:17:22 – Weekly assignment: recognizing patterns of self-blame 00:18:58 – Reclaiming your internal compass and sense of normal Subscribe, Rate, and Review! Remember to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #CovertNarcissism #SelfBlame #ToxicRelationships #EmotionalAbuseRecovery #GaslightingAwareness #HealingJourney #BoundariesMatter #SelfWorth #EmotionalIntelligence #...
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    22 min