White knuckling your way through dumpster fires + stacked deadlines might *seem impressive* but underneath constantly second-guessing yourself, obsessively counting of how much you accomplished while beating yourself up — are hidden costs eating away at your efficiency (and overall ability to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to create). This episode names what you couldn’t explain...until now.

•  The Impact & Intention Framework Ep. 171
• Finding Your Compelling Why’s Ep. 174
• Asking High Quality Questions Ep. 231
• Giving Yourself Validation Ep. 237
• Having Impeccable Boundaries 239
• Being A Curious Scientist Instead Of The Judge Ep. 208
• Using Your Mood Meter Ep. 254
• Understanding Your Person Account Ep. 252
• Measuring Your Person Account Ep.253
• Identifying Perfectionist Prediction Loops Ep. 250
• Popping Up In Perfectionistic Brain Ep. 249
• Deliberate Disruption The Calibration

00:00–Striving for excellence in a dumpster fire  while white knuckling

01:59-Definition of perfectionism

03:13–Uncomfy confession my overfunctioning

04:48–When powering through stops working

05:35–Fear uncertainty and doubt in disguise

06:40–Second guessing yourself despite the evidence

07:17–  Are You Making This Huge Perfectionistic Mistake

08:31–Why overachievers get to disappointed in myself spirals

09:06–Over functioning feeds control issues BEST analogy

09:55–Beating yourself up When is enough enough

11:03–How I’m able to stop pushing through before burnout

12:05–Why perfectionist tendencies turn poisonous

13:45–The Clueless Mismatch Tool

14:20– Choosing what's familiar over what's functional

15:03–Disrupt overachiever autopilot with The Calibration

16:12–Tools to stop second guessing yourself

17:56–Perfectionism Podcast BTS

1. Anderson, E. C., R. Nicholas Carleton, Diefenbach, M., &

What if feeling your feelings didn’t mean falling apart — but actually gave you more control, not less? If white knuckling or pushing through is the best way you know how to feel your feelings. You’re not alone.Discover the hidden mistake keeping perfectionists stuck feeling on edge, why you can never outthink your feelings and the right way to feel your feelings.

Want to bring rewiring into your reality? Where being confident, certain and playful is just how you roll? Perfectionist Solutions 1-1 coaching is your next step.

• Perfectionism Optimized 1 to 1 coaching
• PerfectionismRewired.com

Other helpful podcast episodes in this series on How Your Brain Actually Works:

1. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
2. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
3. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250
4. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251
5. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252
6. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 253

00:00-Your thoughts create your feelings LIE #1
01:53-Can't Feel Your Feelings Without This
04:14-Knowing how your brain actually works
05:24-"What is Wrong With Me?" Explained
06:37-Feelings Are Psychological LIE #2
07:16-Feelings are Emotions LIE #3
08:56-Where Feelings Actually Come From
10:08-How Depersonalizing Feelings = Freedom
12:46-Turning Mom Meltdown Moments Around (Manon's Story)
14:35-How To Control Your Feelings
16:01-Rational Thinking + Decisions LIE #4
17:32-Striving For Excellence Without Pushing Through
18:29-What Your Person Account Has To Do With Feelings
19:41-How To Identify Your Feelings Fast
21:12-How To Feel Your Feelings Visual Tool
22:33-Why Meditation + Deep Breaths Don’t Always Work
23:58-Thoughts Drive Your Feelings LIES #5
25:57-Perspectacles How Feelings Shape Your Perceptions
28:37-Turning Your Mood into Useful Fuel
30:07-Where Sense Data Fits Into The Equation

Q: Why does “changing my thoughts” never changes my feelings—especially as a perfectionist?
A: This episode breaks down the myth that thoughts drive feelings (hint: it’s the other way around!). Discover why “thought work” is a torture device for perfectionidtic people and how the “CTFAR Model” does not actually work for any human with a brain

Q: What’s really going on when I’m overwhelmed by emotions even if everything looks fine on the outside?
A: You’ll learn the neuroscientific difference between feelings and emotions, plus why this distinction puts an to the cycle of overthinking feelings and asking “what is wrong with me”

Q: What's the biggest misconception high-achievers have about feelings?
A: Most of us have a totally backward understanding of where feelings come from (and it’s not just psychological!). Courtney reveals the real, science-backed answer.

Q: How can I feel my feelings without getting “lost” in them or falling apart?
A: Tune in for a client success story and discover a practical tool—the “mood meter”—to help you regain control and function, even on tough days.

Q: Does thinking rationally mean I can escape feelings?
A: Logic and rationality can’t bypass feelings. Find out why every decision (yes, even the “rational” ones!) are shaped by your mood — and how to use this...

You’re doing everything right. You’re ambitious, successful + driven. So why is it your energy is nonexistent, patience is razor-thin + your mind can't stop overthinking? If your days are starting with dread and ending in exhaustion — this episode is your wake-up call.

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or accessing your abilities in a way burnt out you could never compete with, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

• How pushing through dewires your brain into survival mode
• What caffeine, people pleasing + Top Ramen have in common
• 16 surprising signs your brain is starving
• Why ruminating and indecisiveness are symptoms—not problems to solve
• How a healthy Person Account™ allows you to access your abilities in a way burnt out you could never compete with

• Recharge your Person Account Book your Perfect Start 1:1 session now
• Magic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
• How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
• Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250
• Neuroplasticity [Neuroscience Series #4] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251
• #1 Thing Stops Perfectionists From Growth [Neuroscience Series #5] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252

02:09-Why Perfectionists Need More Fuel for Our Brains
04:10-MYTH: You Have to Stop Being a Perfectionist
06:24-Clues You’re on the Path to Chronic Stress
09:32-Burn Out is Not the Price of Ambition
10:25-Case Study: How Stacey found Clarity, Energy, Peace
12:43-I Ruminate Over Decisions bc I Need to Make the Right Decision
14:05-Why You’re Choosing Instant Relief (and Paying Later)
16:11-A Healthy Person Account™ = Liberation
17:32-How to Always Know How Your Person Account™ is Doing

1. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
2. Barrett, L. F., Quigley, K. S., & Hamilton, P. (2016). An active inference theory of allostasis and interoception in depression. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences*, *371*(1708), 20160011. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2016.0011
3. Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951
4. Dwyer, P. (2022). The Neurodiversity Approach(es): What Are They and What Do They Mean for Researchers? Human Development, 66(2), 73–92.

Feel like you're working hard but not seeing the progress you want? It's NOT YOU or your PERFECTIONISM – it's your Person Account™ . Discover my proprietary framework that’s changing the game for Perfectionist Solution’s clients, and will do the same for you.

• How ruminating + running a 10k impact you the exact same way
• Why perfectionist brains work overtime + cost more to operate
• How to tell if you’re operating in a constant state of depletion without realizing it
• What Cortisol actually is (it's NOT a STRESS HORMONE)
• The hidden reason therapy + personal development don't work

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

• Perfect Start Session
• Magic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
• How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
• Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250

0:53-Why You're Not Making Progress Despite Trying Harder
02:15-Allostasis: How Your Brain Allocates
05:07-The Hidden Reason Therapy Isn’t Working
06:30-Why Perfectionist Brains Cost More to Operate
07:25-Living in a Depleted State Without Realizing It
09:31-Stressed out: Eustress vs. Distress
10:29-Truth about Cortisol + Stress Response
12:35-The Slow Drip of Perfectionist Burnout
15:17-How to Tell if You’re Running on Empty

1. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
2. Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951
3. Dwyer, P. (2022). The Neurodiversity Approach(es): What Are They and What Do They Mean for Researchers? Human Development, 66(2), 73–92. https://doi.org/10.1159/000523723
4. Ganzel, B. L., & Morris, P. A. (2011). Allostasis and the developing human brain: Explicit consideration of implicit models. Development and Psychopathology, 23(4), 955–974. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0954579411000447‌
5. Guidi, J., Lucente, M., Sonino, N., & Fava, Giovanni A. (2020). Allostatic Load and Its Impact on Health: A Systematic Review. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 90(1), 11–27. https://doi.org/10.1159/000510696
6. Kleckner, I. R., Zhang, J., Touroutoglou, A., Chanes, L., Xia, C., Simmons, W. K., Quigley, K. S., Dickerson, B. C., & Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). Evidence for a large-scale brain system supporting allostasis and interoception in humans....

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

• How neuroplasticity works and why it’s crucial for perfectionists
• The surprising difference in brain flexibility before and after age 45
• Real-life coaching breakthroughs that prove brain rewiring is possible
• Why *use it or lose it* is the key to changing perfectionist tendencies
• The fastest way to stop rumination, self-doubt and overanalyzing mistakes

• Take your first step in rewiring Perfect Start Introductory Session
• Magic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
• How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
• Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250

00:00-Why Age 45 Is a Brain Plasticity Tipping Point
01:07-Analogy for what is neuroplasticity
02:52-Rewire your brain with Perfect Start Session
05:29-Framework for Rewiring Perfectionism Inside Out
06:10-Transformative Effects of Cognitive Flexibility

1. Cramer, S. C., Sur, M., Dobkin, B. H., C. O'Brien, Sanger, T. D., Trojanowski, J. Q., … Haber, S. (2011). Harnessing neuroplasticity for clinical applications. Brain, 134(6), 1591–1609. https://doi.org/10.1093/brain/awr039
2. Fuchs, E., & Flügge, G. (2014). Adult Neuroplasticity: More Than 40 Years of Research. Neural Plasticity, 2014, 1–10. https://doi.org/10.1155/2014/541870
3. Green, C. S., & Bavelier, D. (2008). Exercising your brain: A review of human brain plasticity and training-induced learning. Psychology and Aging, 23(4), 692–701. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0014345
4. Isheqlou, L.K., Soltanlou, M., Zarean, M., Saeedi, M.T. and Heysieattalab, S. (2023). Feedback-related negativity in perfectionists: An index of performance outcome evaluation. Behavioural Brain Research, 444, 114358–114358. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbr.2023.114358
5. Petersen, J., Ong, C. W., Hancock, A. S., Gillam, R. B., Levin, M. E., & Twohig, M. P. (2021). An Examination of the Relationship Between Perfectionism and Neurological Functioning. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 35(3), 195–211. https://doi.org/10.1891/jcpsy-d-20-00037
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Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Constantly overthinking? Still ruminating over that convo with your boss? You're not alone. Uncover how perfectionistic tendencies like being super rigid, people pleasing, over-preparing, excessively worrying — are actually signs your perfectionistic brain is misfiring. Plus, learn the neuroscience-backed solution to take charge of your perfectionist tendencies + start feeling better.

00:00-What Makes Perfectionistic Brains Unique
04:02-How Perfectionist Tendencies Operate

07:32-Neuroscience Behind Overthinking

09:25-Catastrophizing Your Way to Chronic Stress

10:37-Ruminating + Other Perfectionist Tendencies
11:58-Neuroplasticy to rewire the brain
14:03-What Gets In The Way of Rewiring
15:59-Black + White Thinking

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today!

• Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching Session
• Catastrophizing Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 188
• Catastrophize. Ruminate. Overthink. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 216
• Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193

1. Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience, 15(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4
2. Handley, A. K., Egan, S. J., Kane, R. T., & Rees, C. S. (2014). The relationships between perfectionism, pathological worry and generalised anxiety disorder. BMC Psychiatry, 14(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-14-98
3. Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2022). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. Personality Neuroscience, 5. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3

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Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed out? Anxious? Being vague about your emotions is like saying you're "craving food" for dinner—utterly unhelpful! Your perfectionist brain needs precision to create the right action plan for you. Learn why labeling your emotions accurately is crucial for regulating your body's responses and the essential skillset all perfectionists need to understand their emotions.

01:08-Controlling of emotions
03:13-How to stop feeling overwhelmed
05:28-Muffin-Cupcake Experiment
07:54-Why Words Hold Physiological Power
09:48-Emotional Regulation skills
12:14-What the skill of emotional granularity buys you
14:23-How to rewire your brain
15:27-Becoming an Emotional Sommelier
18:52-How do you construct your emotions more accurately?

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

• Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching Session
• Avoiding Perfectionist Mistakes in Expressing Emotions Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 173
• Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193
• Everything You Need to Know About Self Regulation as a Perfectionist Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 194

1. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
2. Barrett, L. F. (2016). The theory of constructed emotion: an active inference account of interoception and categorization. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, nsw154–nsw154. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsw154
3. Barrett, L. F., Gross, J., Christensen, T. C., & Benvenuto, M. (2001). Knowing what you're feeling and knowing what to do about it: Mapping the relation between emotion differentiation and emotion regulation. Cognition and Emotion, 15(6), 713–724. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699930143000239
4. ‌Crum, A. J., Corbin, W. R., Brownell, K. D., & Salovey, P. (2011). Mind over milkshakes: Mindsets, not just nutrients, determine ghrelin response. Health Psychology, 30(4), 424–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0023467
5. Gendron, M., Lindquist, K. A., Barsalou, L., & Barrett, L. F. (2012). Emotion words shape emotion percepts. Emotion, 12(2), 314–325. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026007
6. Hoemann, K., Gendron, M., & Barrett, L. F. (2022). Assessing the Power of Words to Facilitate Emotion Category Learning. Affective Science, 3(1), 69–80. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42761-021-00084-4
7. Hoemann, K., Khan, Z., Kamona, N., Dy, J., Barrett, L. F., & Quigley, K. S. (2021). Investigating the relationship between emotional granularity and cardiorespiratory physiological activity in daily life. Psychophysiology, 58(6).