White knuckling your way through dumpster fires + stacked deadlines might *seem impressive* but underneath constantly second-guessing yourself, obsessively counting of how much you accomplished while beating yourself up — are hidden costs eating away at your efficiency (and overall ability to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to create). This episode names what you couldn’t explain...until now.

•  The Impact & Intention Framework Ep. 171
• Finding Your Compelling Why’s Ep. 174
• Asking High Quality Questions Ep. 231
• Giving Yourself Validation Ep. 237
• Having Impeccable Boundaries 239
• Being A Curious Scientist Instead Of The Judge Ep. 208
• Using Your Mood Meter Ep. 254
• Understanding Your Person Account Ep. 252
• Measuring Your Person Account Ep.253
• Identifying Perfectionist Prediction Loops Ep. 250
• Popping Up In Perfectionistic Brain Ep. 249
• Deliberate Disruption The Calibration

00:00–Striving for excellence in a dumpster fire  while white knuckling

01:59-Definition of perfectionism

03:13–Uncomfy confession my overfunctioning

04:48–When powering through stops working

05:35–Fear uncertainty and doubt in disguise

06:40–Second guessing yourself despite the evidence

07:17–  Are You Making This Huge Perfectionistic Mistake

08:31–Why overachievers get to disappointed in myself spirals

09:06–Over functioning feeds control issues BEST analogy

09:55–Beating yourself up When is enough enough

11:03–How I’m able to stop pushing through before burnout

12:05–Why perfectionist tendencies turn poisonous

13:45–The Clueless Mismatch Tool

14:20– Choosing what's familiar over what's functional

15:03–Disrupt overachiever autopilot with The Calibration

16:12–Tools to stop second guessing yourself

17:56–Perfectionism Podcast BTS

1. Anderson, E. C., R. Nicholas Carleton, Diefenbach, M., &

What if feeling your feelings didn’t mean falling apart — but actually gave you more control, not less? If white knuckling or pushing through is the best way you know how to feel your feelings. You’re not alone.Discover the hidden mistake keeping perfectionists stuck feeling on edge, why you can never outthink your feelings and the right way to feel your feelings.

Want to bring rewiring into your reality? Where being confident, certain and playful is just how you roll? Perfectionist Solutions 1-1 coaching is your next step.

• Perfectionism Optimized 1 to 1 coaching
• PerfectionismRewired.com

Other helpful podcast episodes in this series on How Your Brain Actually Works:

1. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
2. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
3. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250
4. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251
5. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252
6. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 253

00:00-Your thoughts create your feelings LIE #1
01:53-Can't Feel Your Feelings Without This
04:14-Knowing how your brain actually works
05:24-"What is Wrong With Me?" Explained
06:37-Feelings Are Psychological LIE #2
07:16-Feelings are Emotions LIE #3
08:56-Where Feelings Actually Come From
10:08-How Depersonalizing Feelings = Freedom
12:46-Turning Mom Meltdown Moments Around (Manon's Story)
14:35-How To Control Your Feelings
16:01-Rational Thinking + Decisions LIE #4
17:32-Striving For Excellence Without Pushing Through
18:29-What Your Person Account Has To Do With Feelings
19:41-How To Identify Your Feelings Fast
21:12-How To Feel Your Feelings Visual Tool
22:33-Why Meditation + Deep Breaths Don’t Always Work
23:58-Thoughts Drive Your Feelings LIES #5
25:57-Perspectacles How Feelings Shape Your Perceptions
28:37-Turning Your Mood into Useful Fuel
30:07-Where Sense Data Fits Into The Equation

Q: Why does “changing my thoughts” never changes my feelings—especially as a perfectionist?
A: This episode breaks down the myth that thoughts drive feelings (hint: it’s the other way around!). Discover why “thought work” is a torture device for perfectionidtic people and how the “CTFAR Model” does not actually work for any human with a brain

Q: What’s really going on when I’m overwhelmed by emotions even if everything looks fine on the outside?
A: You’ll learn the neuroscientific difference between feelings and emotions, plus why this distinction puts an to the cycle of overthinking feelings and asking “what is wrong with me”

Q: What's the biggest misconception high-achievers have about feelings?
A: Most of us have a totally backward understanding of where feelings come from (and it’s not just psychological!). Courtney reveals the real, science-backed answer.

Q: How can I feel my feelings without getting “lost” in them or falling apart?
A: Tune in for a client success story and discover a practical tool—the “mood meter”—to help you regain control and function, even on tough days.

Q: Does thinking rationally mean I can escape feelings?
A: Logic and rationality can’t bypass feelings. Find out why every decision (yes, even the “rational” ones!) are shaped by your mood — and how to use this...

You’re doing everything right. You’re ambitious, successful + driven. So why is it your energy is nonexistent, patience is razor-thin + your mind can't stop overthinking? If your days are starting with dread and ending in exhaustion — this episode is your wake-up call.

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or accessing your abilities in a way burnt out you could never compete with, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

• How pushing through dewires your brain into survival mode
• What caffeine, people pleasing + Top Ramen have in common
• 16 surprising signs your brain is starving
• Why ruminating and indecisiveness are symptoms—not problems to solve
• How a healthy Person Account™ allows you to access your abilities in a way burnt out you could never compete with

• Recharge your Person Account Book your Perfect Start 1:1 session now
• Magic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
• How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
• Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250
• Neuroplasticity [Neuroscience Series #4] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251
• #1 Thing Stops Perfectionists From Growth [Neuroscience Series #5] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252

02:09-Why Perfectionists Need More Fuel for Our Brains
04:10-MYTH: You Have to Stop Being a Perfectionist
06:24-Clues You’re on the Path to Chronic Stress
09:32-Burn Out is Not the Price of Ambition
10:25-Case Study: How Stacey found Clarity, Energy, Peace
12:43-I Ruminate Over Decisions bc I Need to Make the Right Decision
14:05-Why You’re Choosing Instant Relief (and Paying Later)
16:11-A Healthy Person Account™ = Liberation
17:32-How to Always Know How Your Person Account™ is Doing

1. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
2. Barrett, L. F., Quigley, K. S., & Hamilton, P. (2016). An active inference theory of allostasis and interoception in depression. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences*, *371*(1708), 20160011. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2016.0011
3. Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951
4. Dwyer, P. (2022). The Neurodiversity Approach(es): What Are They and What Do They Mean for Researchers? Human Development, 66(2), 73–92.