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Perfectionism Rewired

Perfectionism Rewired

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How do I stop living in fear of failure? Why can't I stop overthinking? When will I feel good enough? Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I self-sabotage? Will ruminating + catastrophizing ever end? There's a BETTER Way to Perfectionism, that's empowering highly driven, Type-A, ambitious perfectionists to OWN their perfectionistic tendencies instead of being owned by it. Perfectionism Rewired host Courtney Love Gavin (CLG) illuminates this in every episode. Listen for fierce insights for perfectionists on exiting victim mentality, what self-sabotage *really is*, how to stop people pleasing without compromising kindness, overthinking, catastrophizing, ruminating and black and white thinking, so you can quit fighting against your perfectionistic tendencies and start enjoying the life you've worked so hard to create. Perfectionism Rewired podcast provides answers to questions like: - Self worth vs self esteem - Why am I overthinking - How to increase self confidence - What causes perfectionism anxiety - Why am i so hard on myself - Am I A Perfectionist - WTF is Interoception? Does It Build Resilience? - how to rewire your brain Being a perfectionist is very powerful. But only if you know how to leverage it. For more on optimizing your perfectionism go to https://courtneylovegavin.com2025 Perfectionist Solutions Développement personnel Hygiène et vie saine Psychologie Psychologie et psychiatrie Réussite personnelle Science
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  • White Knuckling & the High Price of Powering Through

    White Knuckling & the High Price of Powering Through
    Jun 22 2025
    White knuckling your way through dumpster fires + stacked deadlines might *seem impressive* but underneath constantly second-guessing yourself, obsessively counting of how much you accomplished while beating yourself up — are hidden costs eating away at your efficiency (and overall ability to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to create). This episode names what you couldn’t explain...until now.Resources Mentioned In Episode 255: The Impact & Intention Framework Ep. 171Finding Your Compelling Why’s Ep. 174Asking High Quality Questions Ep. 231Giving Yourself Validation Ep. 237Having Impeccable Boundaries 239Being A Curious Scientist Instead Of The Judge Ep. 208Using Your Mood Meter Ep. 254Understanding Your Person Account Ep. 252Measuring Your Person Account Ep.253Identifying Perfectionist Prediction Loops Ep. 250Popping Up In Perfectionistic Brain Ep. 249Deliberate Disruption The CalibrationTimestamps:00:00–Striving for excellence in a dumpster fire  while white knuckling01:59-Definition of perfectionism03:13–Uncomfy confession my overfunctioning04:48–When powering through stops working05:35–Fear uncertainty and doubt in disguise06:40–Second guessing yourself despite the evidence07:17–  Are You Making This Huge Perfectionistic Mistake08:31–Why overachievers get to disappointed in myself spirals09:06–Over functioning feeds control issues BEST analogy09:55–Beating yourself up When is enough enough 11:03–How I’m able to stop pushing through before burnout12:05–Why perfectionist tendencies turn poisonous13:45–The Clueless Mismatch Tool 14:20– Choosing what's familiar over what's functional15:03–Disrupt overachiever autopilot with The Calibration16:12–Tools to stop second guessing yourself17:56–Perfectionism Podcast BTSQuotes on Perfectionism:"Most perfectionists conflate measuring with counting. You count how much you got done that day, you look at your to do list, all the check marks you count and you think that is measuring." –Courtney Love Gavin, Expert on Perfectionism Neuroscience"You can't solve a problem when you continue to use methods that perpetuate it. And until you disrupt where those perfectionist tendencies are coming from, your brain will continue choosing what's familiar over what's functional." –Courtney Love Gavin, Expert on Perfectionism NeuroscienceHighly Credible Sources Cited in this Perfectionism Podcast: Anderson, E. C., R. Nicholas Carleton, Diefenbach, M., & Paul. (2019). The Relationship Between Uncertainty and Affect. Frontiers in Psychology, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02504Attwell, D., & Laughlin, S. B. (2001). An Energy Budget for Signaling in the Grey Matter of the Brain. Journal of Cerebral Blood Flow & Metabolism, 21(10), 1133–1145. https://doi.org/10.1097/00004647-200110000-00001Barrett, L. F., & Bar, M. (2009). See it with feeling: affective predictions during object perception. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 364(1521), 1325–1334. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0312Barrett, L. F., & Bliss‐Moreau, E. (2009). Chapter 4 Affect as a Psychological Primitive. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 167–218. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0065-2601(08)00404-8Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience, 15(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4Clark, A. (2013). Whatever next? Predictive brains, situated agents, and the future of cognitive science. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 36(3), 181–204. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0140525x12000477Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "what" and "why" of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327965PLI1104_01Egan, S. J., Piek, J. P., Dyck, M. J., & Rees, C. S. (2007). The role of dichotomous thinking and rigidity in perfectionism. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 45(8), 1813–1822. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2007.02.002Kummer, K., Mattes, A. & Stahl, J. Do perfectionists show negative, repetitive thoughts facing uncertain situations?. Curr Psychol (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-04409-3Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2023). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. Personality neuroscience, 5, e12. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3Petersen, J., Ong, C. W., Hancock, A. S., Gillam, R. B., Levin, M. E., & Twohig, M. P. (2021). An Examination of the Relationship Between Perfectionism and Neurological Functioning. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 35(3), 195–211. https://doi.org/10.1891/jcpsy-d-20-00037Pollard-Wright Holly (2020) Interoception the foundation for: mind’s sensing of ‘self,’ physiological responses, cognitive discrimination and dysregulation, Communicative & Integrative...
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    18 min
  • How To Feel Your Feelings (So They Stop Controlling You)

    How To Feel Your Feelings (So They Stop Controlling You)
    May 8 2025
    What if feeling your feelings didn’t mean falling apart...but actually gave you more control, not less? If white knuckling or pushing through is the best way you know how to feel your feelings. You’re not alone! Discover the hidden mistake keeping perfectionists stuck feeling on edge, why you can never outthink your feelings and the right way to feel your feelings.Other helpful podcast episodes in this series on How Your Brain Actually Works:Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 253Timestamps:00:00-Your thoughts create your feelings LIE #101:53-Can't Feel Your Feelings Without This04:14-Knowing how your brain actually works05:24-"What is Wrong With Me?" Explained06:37-Feelings Are Psychological LIE #207:16-Feelings are Emotions LIE #308:56-Where Feelings Actually Come From10:08-How Depersonalizing Feelings = Freedom12:46-Turning Mom Meltdown Moments Around (Manon's Story)14:35-How To Control Your Feelings16:01-Rational Thinking + Decisions LIE #417:32-Striving For Excellence Without Pushing Through18:29-What Your Person Account Has To Do With Feelings19:41-How To Identify Your Feelings Fast21:12-How To Feel Your Feelings Visual Tool22:33-Why Meditation + Deep Breaths Don’t Always Work23:58-Thoughts Drive Your Feelings LIES #525:57-Perspectacles How Feelings Shape Your Perceptions28:37-Turning Your Mood into Useful Fuel30:07-Where Sense Data Fits Into The EquationHow To Feel Your Feelings Q&AQ: Why does “changing my thoughts” never changes my feelings—especially as a perfectionist? A: This episode breaks down the myth that thoughts drive feelings (hint: it’s the other way around!). Discover why “thought work” is a torture device for perfectionidtic people and how the “CTFAR Model” does not actually work for any human with a brainQ: What’s really going on when I’m overwhelmed by emotions even if everything looks fine on the outside? A: You’ll learn the neurobiological difference between feelings and emotions, plus why this distinction puts an to the cycle of overthinking feelings and asking “what is wrong with me”Q: What's the biggest misconception overachievers and perfectionists have about feelings? A: where feelings come from (it's physiological not psych). Courtney Love Gavin reveals lies and what's true according to modern evidence-based science.Q: How can I feel my feelings without getting “lost” in them or falling apart? A: Hear play-by-play how Perfectionist Solution's Manon didn't lose her sh!t and get tangible tool so you regain control and function, even on tough days.Q: Does thinking rationally mean I can escape feelings? A: There's no such thing as rational thinking. All Human Beings are coded with feelings, NOT to be confused with emotions (completely different). Dying is how you escape feelings.Q: What’s one quick, practical tweak I can use to feel better fast? A: Host Courtney Love Gavin shares micro-strategies (think 30 secs to 3 mins) you can use asap to change your mood and your experience.Highly Credible Resources Cited in this EpisodeBar, M. (2009). The proactive brain: memory for predictions. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences*, *364*(1521), 1235–1243. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0310Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.Barrett, L. F. (2006). Valence is a basic building block of emotional life. Journal of Research in Personality, 40(1), 35–55. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2005.08.006Barrett, L. F. (2016). The theory of constructed emotion: an active inference account of interoception and categorization. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, nsw154. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsw154Barrett, L. F., & Bar, M. (2009). See it with feeling: affective predictions during object perception. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 364(1521), 1325–1334. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0312Barrett, L. F., Gross, J., Christensen, T. C., & Benvenuto, M. (2001). Knowing what you're feeling and knowing what to do about it: Mapping the relation between emotion differentiation and emotion regulation. Cognition and Emotion, 15(6), 713–724. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699930143000239Barrett, L. F., & Russell, J. A. (1999). The Structure of Current Affect. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 8(1), 10–14. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-8721.00003Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. *Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience*, *15*(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951Cesario, J., ...
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    32 min
  • Underrated Signals of Allostatic Overload Specific to High-Performers

    Underrated Signals of Allostatic Overload Specific to High-Performers
    Apr 8 2025
    Achieving stability through change = biophysics process known as Allostasis. As Perfectionists we love to achieve! And we've acclimated to the chronic mild stress we encounter daily.So when our capacity is a mismatch with the resources required and Allostatic Load starts to pile up, we tend to dismiss the SIGNALS from our internal SYSTEMS. Mistaking them for perfectionistic "symptoms" or deficits within ourselves.That ends now. Discover the signals of Allostatic Overload specific to driven, high-performing, perfectionists and why high allostatic load shows up for us, is criminally misunderstood.Your Person Account™ is a proprietary one-to-one model of allostasis, allostatic load and allostatic overload. This puts interdisciplinary biophysics system science in tangible, fiduciary terms. Your Person Account™ is an invention made by Perfectionist Solutions™ founder Courtney Love Gavin and is protected by copyright, trademark and other intellectual property laws.In this Episode You’ll Learn:What caffeine, people pleasing + Top Ramen have in common16+ surprising signs of Allostatic Overload unique to Type-A perfectionists, overachievers and high-performersHow ruminating, overthinking + perfectionist patterns are SIGNALS—not problems to solveResources Mentioned In Episode 253:Recharge your Person Account Book your Perfect Start 1:1 session nowMagic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250Neuroplasticity [Neuroscience Series #4] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251#1 Thing Stops Perfectionists From Growth [Neuroscience Series #5] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252TIMESTAMPS:02:09-Why Perfectionists Need More Fuel for Our Brains04:10-MYTH: You Have to Stop Being a Perfectionist06:24-Clues You’re on the Path to Chronic Stress09:32-Burn Out is Not the Price of Ambition10:25-Case Study: How Stacey Cleared the Smog12:43-I Ruminate Over Decisions bc I Need to Make the Right Decision14:05-Why You’re Choosing Instant Relief (and Paying Later)16:11-A Healthy Person Account™ = LiberationCitations/Sources:Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.Barrett, L. F., Quigley, K. S., & Hamilton, P. (2016). An active inference theory of allostasis and interoception in depression. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences*, *371*(1708), 20160011. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2016.0011Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951Dwyer, P. (2022). The Neurodiversity Approach(es): What Are They and What Do They Mean for Researchers? Human Development, 66(2), 73–92. https://doi.org/10.1159/000523723Ganzel, B. L., & Morris, P. A. (2011). Allostasis and the developing human brain: Explicit consideration of implicit models. Development and Psychopathology, 23(4), 955–974. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0954579411000447‌Guidi, J., Lucente, M., Sonino, N., & Fava, Giovanni A. (2020). Allostatic Load and Its Impact on Health: A Systematic Review. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 90(1), 11–27. https://doi.org/10.1159/000510696Kleckner, I. R., Zhang, J., Touroutoglou, A., Chanes, L., Xia, C., Simmons, W. K., Quigley, K. S., Dickerson, B. C., & Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). Evidence for a large-scale brain system supporting allostasis and interoception in humans. Nature Human Behaviour, 1(5). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-017-0069Knezevic, E., Katarina Nenic, Milanovic, V., & Knezevic, N. N. (2023). The Role of Cortisol in Chronic Stress, Neurodegenerative Diseases, and Psychological Disorders. Cells, 12(23), 2726–2726. https://doi.org/10.3390/cells12232726‌McEwen, B. S., & Gianaros, P. J. (2011). Stress- and Allostasis-Induced Brain Plasticity. Annual Review of Medicine, 62(1), 431–445. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-med-052209-100430
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    16 min
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