Summary:

This episode continues our personality disorder prototype series by exploring histrionic personality disorder (HPD) and its relationship to borderline personality disorder (BPD) through an Interpersonal Reconstructive Therapy (IRT) lens. Clinical Psychologists Ken and Eliza examine how both patterns center around fears of abandonment, but diverge in how individuals attempt to meet those needs—highlighting coercive dependency in HPD and shifting relational dynamics in BPD.

The episode also addresses gendered assumptions in diagnosis and the importance of case formulation over labels. Clinicians will gain a deeper understanding of how interpersonal patterns develop, how they present in therapy, and how to respond without reinforcing maladaptive cycles. This discussion offers practical insight into working with personality disorders in a way that is compassionate, nuanced, and clinically effective within an IRT framework.

If you like this episode, please subscribe, like, and share with your friends. Let us know what you want to hear us talk about in future episodes - we are listening! Check out the ⁠IRT Institute ⁠website for more information on IRT, including training for mental health professionals. We have also created an ⁠episode guide⁠ that gives more detailed information about each episode.

Note: The Loving Differently Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content discussed in each episode is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist–client relationship with either of the hosts. If you are experiencing psychological distress, relationship difficulties, or a mental health emergency, please seek support from a licensed mental health provider in your area or contact your local emergency services.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to the series and rationale

02:30 Framing personality disorders through IRT and SASB

05:00 Overview of borderline personality dynamics

08:00 Introducing histrionic personality disorder

12:00 DSM vs interpersonal understanding

16:00 Developmental history of histrionic patterns

21:00 Similarities and differences between HPD and BPD

27:00 Clinical implications and therapy dynamics

35:00 Countertransference and therapist awareness

45:00 Closing thoughts and preview of next episode

References:

for specific references

Summary:

In Episode 010, we (Dr. Ken Critchfield and Dr. Eliza Stucker-Rozovsky, licensed clinical psychologists) continue our personality prototype series through the lens of Interpersonal Reconstructive Therapy (IRT). We focus on borderline personality disorder (BPD) and passive-aggressive patterns, exploring how developmental trauma and complex interpersonal learning shape enduring patterns seen in DSM-5 personality disorders.We unpack core IRT concepts such as complex codes, copy processes, and the “gift of love,” illustrating how interpersonal patterns—like fear of abandonment, coercive care-seeking, and self-sabotage—develop and persist. We also examine how developmental trauma contributes to paradoxical dynamics (e.g., love paired with fear, autonomy paired with punishment), and how these patterns play out in therapy.This episode is designed for clinicians seeking a deeper, formulation-driven understanding of personality disorders beyond symptom checklists. We emphasize how recognizing interpersonal patterns can guide more effective, compassionate treatment.
If you like this episode, please subscribe, like, and share with your friends. Let us know what you want to hear us talk about in future episodes - we are listening! Check out the ⁠IRT Institute ⁠website for more information on IRT, including training for mental health professionals. We have also created an ⁠episode guide⁠ that gives more detailed information about each episode.

Note: The Loving Differently Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content discussed in each episode is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist–client relationship with either of the hosts. If you are experiencing psychological distress, relationship difficulties, or a mental health emergency, please seek support from a licensed mental health provider in your area or contact your local emergency services.

Timestamps:

• • 0:00 — Intro
  • 1:35 — Episode Introduction
  • 1:38 — Personality Prototype Series Overview
  • 3:34 — Understanding Complex Codes
  • 5:50 — BPD Interpersonal Summary
  • 7:12 — BPD Developmental History
  • 25:33 — BPD Necessary & Exclusionary Conditions
  • 42:47 — Transition to Passive-Aggressive PD
  • 43:35 — Passive-Aggressive PD Overview
  • 48:38 — Passive-Aggressive Interpersonal Summary
  • 1:03:45 — Passive-Aggressive Treatment Approach
  • 1:13:40 — BPD vs. Passive-Aggressive: Comparing Patterns
  • 1:19:15 — Closing

• References:

  
  

In this episode, Ken Critchfield, PhD and Eliza Stucker-Rozovsky, PsyD begin a new miniseries on Interpersonal Harmonics—a core concept in Interpersonal Reconstructive Therapy (IRT)—by exploring Cluster C personality disorders through an interpersonal lens.

We walk through avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive personality patterns, highlighting how these presentations extend beyond DSM-5 symptom lists into deeply rooted interpersonal patterns shaped by developmental trauma and learning histories. Using SASB-informed thinking and copy process theory, we examine how early caregiving environments shape internal self-criticism, fears of rejection or incompetence, and rigid perfectionism.

Throughout the episode, we emphasize a central IRT principle: these are not “disordered people,” but adaptive love stories gone wrong. By understanding the interpersonal logic behind these patterns, clinicians can move beyond diagnosis toward meaningful case formulation and compassionate, effective treatment.

Note: The Loving Differently Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content discussed in each episode is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist–client relationship.

Timestamps

(00:00) – Launching the Interpersonal Harmonics miniseries

(02:00) – Why Cluster C personality patterns first

(04:30) – Avoidant personality: beyond anxiety

(06:30) – Fear of rejection, humiliation, and longing for connection

(09:00) – Developmental origins and criticism

(17:30) – Therapy stance with avoidant patients

(43:30) – Transition to dependent personality

(45:00) – Developmental pathways to dependency

(52:00) – DSM vs interpersonal patterns in dependency

(01:01:00) – Transition to obsessive-compulsive personality

(01:03:00) – Perfectionism and fear of imperfection

(01:08:00) – Living in the courtroom

(01:14:00) – Therapy stance for OCPD

(01:24:00) – Experiencing life beyond perfectionism

(01:28:30) – Summary of Cluster C

Check out episode 008 where we review an upcoming publication and its implications.

Paper referenced: Panizo, M. T., Harrison, E. G., & Critchfield, K. L. (in press, 2026). Interpersonal Diagnosis of Personality Disorders: Explaining Comorbidity and Enhancing Clinical Relevance. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration.

Summary

In this episode of the Loving Differently Podcast, we (Dr. Ken Critchfield and Dr. Eliza Stucker-Rozovsky) dive into a newly accepted paper examining the interpersonal diagnosis of personality disorders through the lens of Interpersonal Reconstructive Therapy (IRT). Using the SASB model, we explore how longstanding debates in the DSM-5—categorical versus dimensional models of personality disorder—can be reframed through interpersonal patterns and developmental histories.We discuss how personality disorders are best understood not as fixed traits, but as learned relational strategies that once served adaptive purposes in difficult environments. Drawing on empirical findings from Panizo et al. (2025), we examine interpersonal hostility, comorbidity, and how overlapping personality disorder features emerge naturally when viewed dimensionally. We also explore how interpersonal case formulation offers clinicians greater empathy, specificity, and hope for change.Throughout the episode, we connect theory to clinical practice—highlighting how IRT helps clinicians move beyond symptom management toward helping patients reconstruct deeply ingrained relational patterns rooted in developmental trauma. We also preview an upcoming series focused on specific personality disorder prototypes and their interpersonal harmonics.Send us your questions at lovingdifferentlypodcast@gmail.com and subscribe for more IRT-focused discussions.Note: The Loving Differently Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content discussed in each episode is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist–client relationship with either of the hosts. If you are experiencing psychological distress, relationship difficulties, or a mental health emergency, please seek support from a licensed mental health provider in your area or contact your local emergency services.

Timestamps

• (00:00) – Introduction and context for the Panizo et al. paper

• (02:30) – Why personality disorders remain a central clinical challenge

• (05:00) – Categorical vs dimensional models in the DSM-5

• (08:30) – How SASB conceptualizes interpersonal patterns

• (12:00) – Developmental trauma and adaptive origins of personality patterns

• (16:00) – Interpersonal hostility as a core feature of personality disorders

• (20:00) – Understanding comorbidity through interpersonal overlap

• (25:00) – Five interpersonal clusters identified in the research

• (32:00) – Clinical implications of interpersonal diagnosis

• (40:00) – Hope, change, and reconstruction in IRT

• (48:00) – Bridging DSM language with interpersonal case formulation

• (55:00) – Preview of upcoming personality disorder series

• (63:00) – Final reflections on empathy and clinical relevance

In this short update, we (Ken and Eliza) wanted to pause and say thank you to everyone who has listened to Loving Differently this year. When we started the podcast, we genuinely didn’t know if anyone would be listening — and the thoughtful feedback, engagement, and curiosity from clinicians and learners alike has meant more to us than we can easily put into words.

We also share a quick update about our limited merch campaign, which was created to help support the podcast as we upgraded our recording setup and production quality. From mugs to t-shirts and totes, we wanted to offer items that were genuinely well-made and meaningful — things we’d actually want to use ourselves — as a small way of saying thanks while also covering some of the real costs of running the podcast.

Link to merch: https://linktr.ee/irtinstitute

Finally, we give a preview of what’s coming next on Loving Differently, including upcoming episodes on personality disorder, personality measurement, and the SASB interpersonal framework, as well as deeper clinical conversations grounded in Interpersonal Reconstructive Therapy (IRT) and the work of Lorna Benjamin. We’re also beginning to plan more in-depth IRT training opportunities and workshops for those who want to go further.

Send us your questions at lovingdifferentlypodcast@gmail.com and subscribe to this podcast for more IRT-focused discussions.

Note: The Loving Differently Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist–client relationship.

Timestamps

(00:00) – Ken and Eliza share a quick update and say thank you

(00:35) – Why we launched the merch campaign and upgraded our recording

(01:15) – What the merch means to us and why we chose quality items

(02:05) – Gratitude for listeners and feedback over the past year

(02:45) – How long the merch campaign runs and what happens next

(03:05) – Upcoming episodes on personality disorder and SASB

(03:35) – Future plans for IRT training and workshops

(04:00) – Holiday wishes and closing thanks

A preview of our most recent episode, all about what is reconstruction mean (the "R" of IRT).

In this episode, we unpack the “R” in Interpersonal Reconstructive Therapy: Reconstruction—what it means, why it matters, and how it reshapes identity, relationships, and the patterns we carry forward from early life. We explore the dynamics of Red and Green, the powerful pull of the Gift of Love, and why change can feel both destabilizing and deeply transformative. Using clinical examples and personal reflections from practice, we illuminate how IRT helps people move from old, loyalty-driven patterns toward their birthright selves.

If you like this episode, please subscribe, like, rate/review, and share with your friends and colleagues. Let us know what you want to hear us talk about in future episodes - we are listening! Check out the ⁠IRT Institute ⁠website for more information on IRT, including training for mental health professionals. We have also created an episode guide that gives more detailed information about each episode.

Note: The Loving Differently Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content discussed in each episode is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist–client relationship with either of the hosts. If you are experiencing psychological distress, relationship difficulties, or a mental health emergency, please seek support from a licensed mental health provider in your area or contact your local emergency services.

Timestamps:

(00:00) – Introducing the episode: what “reconstruction” means in IRT

(01:15) – Housekeeping, listener feedback, and new platform availability

(02:10) – What makes IRT’s take on personality and change unique

(03:00) – Defining reconstruction: patterns vs identity

(04:30) – Fear of losing oneself when patterns change

(06:05) – Red and Green explained: behavioral templates under stress

(07:15) – The “regressive loyalist” and how Red protects old bonds

(09:00) – The Gift of Love: why patterns persist across a lifetime

(10:40) – Lorna Benjamin’s quote: “Every psychopathology is a gift of love”

(12:10) – Applying IRT concepts: example of OCP patterns and learned control

(14:20) – How early caregiving shapes perfectionism and self-neglect

(16:00) – Why other therapies get “stuck”: insight vs motivation

(18:00) – Understanding attachment motivations to unlock change

(20:00) – The shift from Red to Green: awareness, blocking, choice

(22:45) – Exploring Green: flexibility, tolerance, authenticity

(25:10) – Practicing alternative patterns: behavioral vs existential change

(27:40) – Creativity, play, and exercises that support Green

(30:00) – Rehearsal, repetition, and neurobiological restructuring

(32:10) – The deeper transformation: identity, grief, and loss

(34:00) – Courage, mistrust, and the leap into the unknown

(37:00) – Honoring patients’ bravery and the therapist’s role

(38:30) – Wrapping up + preview of Episode 008 on personality disorders