206 Living Beside the Leaving: Caregiving, Hospice, and Moving With Grief with Carolyn Shelby

Host Marie Betcher, a registered nurse and former hospice nurse, interviews grief educator and Grief Clarity Labs founder Carolyn Shelby, author of Living Beside the Leaving. Shelby shares how caring for her mother through years of Alzheimer's shaped her work, including processing a complicated mother-daughter relationship and the guilt that often follows caregiving decisions. She describes her family's team approach, moving her mother from an unsafe historic home into memory care, and the importance of maintaining identity outside the caregiver role. Shelby explains how hospice was initiated after repeated ER visits for seizures and decline, and how hospice support in the memory care facility helped during her mother's 10-month hospice stay. They discuss how people may time death around loved ones' presence, and Shelby emphasizes, "You did the best you could with the information you had at the time," and outlines her coaching, virtual support groups, and free 30-minute call offer.

00:00 Welcome and Disclaimer

00:41 Meet Carolyn Shelby

03:24 Writing Through Grief

05:51 Caregiving Team Dynamics

08:31 Choosing Memory Care

11:54 Caregiver Identity and Balance

14:38 Hospice Decision and Experience

17:54 Final Visits and Letting Go

21:42 Timing of Death and Guilt

23:20 You Did Your Best

27:36 Grief Clarity Labs Resources

31:06 Closing Thoughts and Farewell

https://www.griefclaritylabs.com/

If you want to help, you can donate to help support Hospice Explained at the Buy me a Coffee link https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Hospice

Hospice Explained Affiliates & Contact Information

Buying from these Affilite links will help support this Podcast.

Maire introduces a partnership with Suzanne Mayer RN inventor of the cloud9caresystem.com,
When patients remain in the same position for extended periods, they are at high risk of developing pressure injuries, commonly known as bedsores. One of the biggest challenges caregivers face is the tendency for pillows and repositioning inserts to easily dislodge during care.(Suzanne is a former guest on Episode #119)

When you order with Cloud 9 care system, please tell them you heard about them from Hospice Explained.(Thank You)

Marie's Contact
Marie@HospiceExplained.com
www.HospiceExplained.com

Finding a Hospice Agency

1. You can use Medicare.gov to help find a hospice agency,

2. choose Find provider

3. Choose Hospice

4. then add your zip code

This should be a list of Hospice Agencies local to you or your loved one.

205 Hospice Explained: Chaplain J.S. Park on Grief Myths, Family Dynamics, and Self-Care

Host Marie Betcher, a registered nurse and former hospice nurse, interviews hospital chaplain J.S. Park about his work in a 1,000-plus bed level-one trauma hospital providing a non-anxious, non-judgmental presence, grief support, end-of-life planning, and family advocacy. Park describes guiding families from first contact through bedside crises and how the emotional toll follows him home. He discusses his book As Long As You Need, which addresses multiple forms of loss and challenges the myth that people should "move on," emphasizing that grief is non-linear and something people "move with." He previews We Are Made of Us (out October 20, 2026), focused on family-of-origin dynamics, inherited trauma, boundaries, and ancestry, and explains facilitating tense family situations by honoring each person's role. They also discuss therapy, self-care as "life itself," meaning beyond productivity, and multigenerational caregiving.

00:00 Welcome and Disclaimer

00:29 Meet Host and Guest

01:33 Chaplain Life in Trauma Care

05:26 The Emotional Toll and Self Care

06:59 Book As Long As You Need

10:00 Grief Myths and Reality

13:24 New Book We Are Made of Us

17:22 Family Conflict at the Bedside

24:46 Intergenerational Trauma and Treasure

28:07 Self Care Beyond Work

31:23 Worth Beyond Productivity

33:33 Caring for Elders Full Circle

37:19 Closing and Where to Buy

If you want to help, you can donate to help support Hospice Explained at the Buy me a Coffee link https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Hospice

Hospice Explained Affiliates & Contact Information

Buying from these Affilite links will help support this Podcast.

Maire introduces a partnership with Suzanne Mayer RN inventor of the cloud9caresystem.com,
When patients remain in the same position for extended periods, they are at high risk of developing pressure injuries, commonly known as bedsores. One of the biggest challenges caregivers face is the tendency for pillows and repositioning inserts to easily dislodge during care.(Suzanne is a former guest on Episode #119)

When you order with Cloud 9 care system, please tell them you heard about them from Hospice Explained.(Thank You)

Marie's Contact
Marie@HospiceExplained.com
www.HospiceExplained.com

Finding a Hospice Agency

1. You can use Medicare.gov to help find a hospice agency,

2. choose Find provider

3. Choose Hospice

4. then add your zip code

This should be a list of Hospice Agencies local to you or your loved one.

204 Supporting Teens and Families Through Hospice: Jean Anne Menna on Education, Pets, and Legacy Messages

Host Marie Betcher, a registered nurse and former hospice nurse, interviews returning guest Jean Anne Menna, a certified hospice and palliative nurse in New York, board member for End of Life Choices New York, and author of Go With Grace and A Pawsitive Journey. Menna shares updates on her website consulting/support services and new writing projects, including an upcoming teen guide, While You're Still Here, focused on normalizing teen emotions, reducing guilt, and encouraging healthy breaks while a loved one is dying at home, potentially on hospice. She discusses a children's book series featuring Duke and Houdini, inspired by a hospice patient's neglected cat, emphasizing the need for a pet care plan in hospice. They also highlight legacy practices like letters and voice recordings, and clarify common hospice misconceptions, stressing education, 24/7 availability, and the need for a primary caregiver in home hospice.

00:00 Welcome and Disclaimer

00:29 Meet Marie and Jean Anne

01:38 New Teen Guide Preview

02:57 Why Teens Need Support

05:30 Filling the Education Gap

06:40 Where to Find the Books

07:16 Duke and Houdini Series

08:49 Houdini Hospice Story

12:27 Planning for Pets

13:25 Website and Legacy Letters

14:28 Recording Voices for Later

17:21 What Hospice Really Provides

21:19 Anticipatory Grief and Resources

22:19 Closing Thanks and Next Time

24:04 Final Sign Off

https://gowithgracebook.com/

If you want to help, you can donate to help support Hospice Explained at the Buy me a Coffee link https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Hospice

Hospice Explained Affiliates & Contact Information

Buying from these Affilite links will help support this Podcast.

Maire introduces a partnership with Suzanne Mayer RN inventor of the cloud9caresystem.com,
When patients remain in the same position for extended periods, they are at high risk of developing pressure injuries, commonly known as bedsores. One of the biggest challenges caregivers face is the tendency for pillows and repositioning inserts to easily dislodge during care.(Suzanne is a former guest on Episode #119)

When you order with Cloud 9 care system, please tell them you heard about them from Hospice Explained.(Thank You)

Marie's Contact
Marie@HospiceExplained.com
www.HospiceExplained.com

Finding a Hospice Agency

1. You can use Medicare.gov to help find a hospice agency,

2. choose Find provider

3. Choose Hospice

4. then add your zip code

This should be a list of Hospice Agencies local to you or your loved one.