206 Living Beside the Leaving: Caregiving, Hospice, and Moving With Grief with Carolyn Shelby

Host Marie Betcher, a registered nurse and former hospice nurse, interviews grief educator and Grief Clarity Labs founder Carolyn Shelby, author of Living Beside the Leaving. Shelby shares how caring for her mother through years of Alzheimer's shaped her work, including processing a complicated mother-daughter relationship and the guilt that often follows caregiving decisions. She describes her family's team approach, moving her mother from an unsafe historic home into memory care, and the importance of maintaining identity outside the caregiver role. Shelby explains how hospice was initiated after repeated ER visits for seizures and decline, and how hospice support in the memory care facility helped during her mother's 10-month hospice stay. They discuss how people may time death around loved ones' presence, and Shelby emphasizes, "You did the best you could with the information you had at the time," and outlines her coaching, virtual support groups, and free 30-minute call offer.

00:00 Welcome and Disclaimer

00:41 Meet Carolyn Shelby

03:24 Writing Through Grief

05:51 Caregiving Team Dynamics

08:31 Choosing Memory Care

11:54 Caregiver Identity and Balance

14:38 Hospice Decision and Experience

17:54 Final Visits and Letting Go

21:42 Timing of Death and Guilt

23:20 You Did Your Best

27:36 Grief Clarity Labs Resources

31:06 Closing Thoughts and Farewell

https://www.griefclaritylabs.com/

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Maire introduces a partnership with Suzanne Mayer RN inventor of the cloud9caresystem.com,
When patients remain in the same position for extended periods, they are at high risk of developing pressure injuries, commonly known as bedsores. One of the biggest challenges caregivers face is the tendency for pillows and repositioning inserts to easily dislodge during care.(Suzanne is a former guest on Episode #119)

When you order with Cloud 9 care system, please tell them you heard about them from Hospice Explained.(Thank You)

Marie's Contact
Marie@HospiceExplained.com
www.HospiceExplained.com

Finding a Hospice Agency

1. You can use Medicare.gov to help find a hospice agency,

2. choose Find provider

3. Choose Hospice

4. then add your zip code

This should be a list of Hospice Agencies local to you or your loved one.