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A tiny lie can look harmless, but it can quietly train you to hide from yourself. We’re back with season six of 'Go Ask Sawyer', and we’re grounding this personal reset in Bell Hooks’ All About Love jumping into chapter three and the practice of honesty. I’m talking through my own “life edit” and what I’m noticing when I track patterns like screen time, thought spirals, and the ways I drift into old stories instead of moving toward what I say I want.

We get specific about what counts as lying, because it’s not always a dramatic betrayal. Sometimes it’s a half-truth, an omission, or staying silent until someone asks the exact right question. We also sit with the real reasons people lie in relationships and friendships: shame, fear of the fight, fear of being judged, or the deeper fear that telling the truth would force us to change our actions. If you’ve ever stayed longer than you should because you were hoping for the “when,” this is for you.

Then we tease apart privacy vs secrecy, using Bell Hooks’ lens: privacy can be healthy boundaries and self-knowledge, while secrecy often carries power, hiding, and misalignment. When we’re not truthful, our relationships can’t deepen, and even our bodies can start waving red flags through stress and burnout. We wrap with a weekly challenge to notice where you’re most honest, where you’re editing the truth, and what might open up if you simply let go.

If this hits, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s doing their own reset, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations.

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I disappeared for a while because my brain and my heart felt empty, and pretending otherwise didn’t feel honest. Between a year of deep reflection and the reality of perimenopause, I hit a point where I didn’t recognize parts of myself. The fog, the lost creativity, the no-focus days, and the constant second-guessing pushed me to get support, including HRT and therapy, and to finally say out loud: I’m tired of repeating my own patterns.

That’s where Bell Hooks comes in. I’m kicking off season six as a 13 to 14 week All About Love book study, using the preface, introduction, and chapter one to talk about what love actually is and what it isn’t. I share what it looks like when I’m more focused on being chosen than asking the question that matters most: are they right for me?

I also get practical about emotional safety and boundaries, including what happens when someone raises their voice, I shut down, and nobody feels heard. Bell Hooks and M. Scott Peck frame love as a choice, an act of will, and a set of actions like care, respect, commitment, trust, and responsibility. If you’ve ever felt lonelier with someone than you do alone, or carried resentment after betrayal, you’ll recognize the moments where self-trust breaks and how to start rebuilding it.

Listen, then come back and tell me this: is love a noun, or a verb you practice? If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

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Jodi shares her journey of healing from an 18-year abusive marriage and the courage it took to rebuild her life on her own terms. Through raw conversation, she reveals how starting over multiple times taught her the power of putting herself first and recognizing her own worth independent of relationships.

• Embracing "day one, not one day" as a philosophy for starting over
• Recognizing early warning signs of controlling behavior in relationships
• How physical health problems can signal emotional trauma
• The challenge of leaving "for the kids" and why waiting rarely helps
• Healing from love bombing and manipulation patterns
• Learning to give yourself the same grace you extend to others
• The importance of asking for help from your support network
• Finding peace without needing closure from your abuser
• Trusting your gut when it tells you something isn't right

If you're struggling in a relationship or working to heal from past trauma, remember that you deserve peace and happiness. You're stronger than you think, and your worth isn't defined by anyone else.

Support the show

Follow me on Instagram @goasksawyer