“Urgency is a sensation before it is a decision.”

• How overdoing is driven by time pressure, not motivation

• The nervous system pattern underneath fertility burnout

• Why urgency feels responsible even when it is dysregulating

• The illusion of being behind and how it speeds up the body

• Stillness as a threat when worthiness is tied to action

• Noticing sensations instead of fighting stories

• Why slowing down is not indulgent on a fertility journey

“Movement feels like progress even when nothing is actually changing.”

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This episode is for the woman who cannot seem to stop doing. Reading. Researching. Optimizing. Fixing. The one who tells herself she will rest once this works. The one whose body feels like it is constantly racing an invisible clock. And somehow, slowing down feels irresponsible.

We are not talking about ambition here. We are talking about urgency. The kind that comes from the story that you are behind. That you should have started earlier. That age is the most important factor. That time is running out. And when that story takes over, the nervous system speeds up, the breath shortens, and overdoing feels like the only option.

This episode is not about stopping or fixing anything. It is about noticing what happens in your body when the rush appears. Because when urgency stops running the show, something very different becomes possible. And next week, we go even deeper into why overdoing is often an avoidance of stillness itself.

01:25 Why overdoing did not start with fertility

02:23 Time pressure and the illusion of being behind

03:48 Movement that feels like progress but is not

04:17 Urgency as a body sensation, not a truth

05:46 What your future child will actually thank you for

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/Overdoing,%20Urgency%20&%20the%20Illusion%20of%20Running%20Out%20of%20Time%20During%20Infertility%20&%20IVF

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“If my worth depends on effort, then rest will always feel unsafe.”

• Overdoing as identity, not behavior

• Why slowing down can feel threatening instead of nourishing

• The nervous system cost of being the capable one

• How worth becomes tangled with productivity

• Fertility burnout and emotional depletion

• Noticing patterns without fixing or correcting them

• Soft awareness as a form of subconscious healing

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This episode goes somewhere tender. Not into doing less. Not into fixing anything. But into the moment where slowing down feels uncomfortable because of who you might be without the doing.

For so many women, overdoing is not a strategy. It is an identity. Being reliable. Being capable. Being the one who holds it all together. And when that identity carries worth, rest does not feel like relief. It feels threatening. Not because things will fall apart, but because a quiet question surfaces underneath it all. Who am I if I stop?

This is not a week for correcting yourself. It is a week for noticing. The guilt. The unease. The urge to justify your time. And what might soften if your worth no longer depended on effort. Listen in and let this one land gently. Something shifts when you see it clearly.

01:06 Why slowing down can feel threatening, not restful

02:03 Overdoing as identity and where worth gets tangled

02:33 The quiet fear underneath constant productivity

03:32 How effort-based worth leads to depletion

04:31 When doing becomes a choice instead of a compulsion

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/Fertility%20Burnout%20and%20the%20Identity%20of%20Overdoing%20Everything%20During%20Infertility%20&%20IVF

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

There is nothing noble about running yourself into the ground to prove you are enough.

• How overdoing disguises itself as being responsible, capable, and admired

• Why slowing down can trigger anxiety, guilt, or loss of identity

• Movement as a coping mechanism for nervous system regulation

• The invisible link between fertility burnout, worthiness, and control

• How awareness softens patterns without forcing change

• What happens when you stop over-functioning for everyone else

Overdoing is not strength. It is often just a nervous system trying to feel safe.

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This episode is a pause. Not the kind you schedule. The kind that sneaks up on you when you realize how much effort you are pouring into things that are not actually required. The kind that makes you notice how uncomfortable stillness feels when your identity has been built on being the one who does it all.

We talk about overdoing. Not the dramatic kind. The praised kind. The kind that earns compliments while quietly exhausting your nervous system. The kind that looks like leadership, motherhood, fertility dedication, or being the responsible one. And how often that constant motion is not ambition at all, but survival.

If you have ever wondered why slowing down feels harder than pushing through, or why letting something be imperfect makes your chest tighten, this episode is for you. No fixing. No forcing. Just awareness. And what starts to shift when you finally let yourself see the pattern.

01:42 How overdoing hides behind being capable

03:35 Movement as nervous system regulation

04:27 Noticing patterns without judgment

06:18 Letting go of perfection and control

07:07 The link between overdoing and worthiness

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/Why%20Slowing%20Down%20Can%20Feel%20Unsafe%20During%20Your%20Fertility%20Journey

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“There is nothing wrong with you for holding on so tightly. For many women, control once meant survival.”

• How control quietly disguises itself as safety

• The nervous system cost of gripping, fixing, and managing

• Why surrender often feels like loss, not relief

• Fear patterns hiding underneath overdoing and overanalyzing

• The difference between effort and force

• How honesty creates more space than pushing ever could

“Surrender is not the absence of action. It is the absence of force.”

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This episode is an honest pause. A breath. A moment to look at how tightly you might be holding your life together and why. Not from judgment. Not from fixing. Just from awareness. Because control can feel responsible, productive, and necessary. Until it quietly turns into exhaustion.

I share a very real chapter of my own fertility journey where surrender was not chosen. It was forced. No job. No distractions. No fixing. Just waiting. And while it did not magically guarantee an outcome, it changed how my body experienced life. It showed me how much effort I had been carrying without realizing it.

This week is not about letting go of everything. It is about noticing where surrender feels dangerous. Where ease feels irresponsible. Where your body is bracing instead of breathing. And what might happen if you stopped fighting long enough to feel what is actually there.

00:00 Welcome and setting the tone for noticing control

01:11 How control disguises itself as safety

02:42 Why fear-based effort works against the body

03:35 A personal story of being forced into surrender

07:14 Where gripping shows up in everyday life

08:42 Surrender as honesty, not collapse

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/Why%20Surrender%20Feels%20So%20Threatening%20When%20You%20Want%20a%20Baby%20During%20Infertility%20IVF

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

"There is a difference between being responsible and being regulated."

• Control disguised as care, responsibility, and being proactive

• Why overdoing can feel safe but keep the nervous system stuck

• The quiet exhaustion of managing everything and everyone

• How fertility burnout shows up in the mundane moments

• The illusion of success created by control

• Becoming the ultimate observer without judgment

• Why doing nothing for a moment can be deeply regulating

Sometimes fixing is not love. It is fear in a more socially acceptable outfit.

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This episode is a brutally honest look at control. Not the obvious kind. The sneaky kind. The kind that looks like fixing, managing, improving, optimizing, and being the responsible one. The kind that gets praised. And the kind that quietly keeps your nervous system on edge while your body whispers, or screams, for relief.

I share a very real moment where my own control patterns showed up while recording this very series. The urge to do more. Add more. Fix something that was already enough. And how noticing that impulse changed everything. Because the work that actually shifts fertility, burnout, and emotional exhaustion is not flashy. It is boring. It is mundane. And it asks you to sit with discomfort instead of outrunning it.

If you have ever felt like you are doing everything right and still not seeing the shift you want, this conversation will land. Especially if slowing down feels like giving up. Next week, we are gently reframing surrender so it stops feeling terrifying and starts feeling safe.

01:30 Catching control patterns in real time

03:40 When fixing feels like care but creates burnout

05:10 The illusion of success created by overcontrol

07:45 Why doing less can be deeply regulating

10:50 Becoming the ultimate observer without judgment

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/The%20Illusion%20of%20Control%20in%20Infertility%20IVF%20Why%20Less%20Is%20Not%20Giving%20Up

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“You don’t need a new mindset. You need to notice the place you live inside.”

• Fertility burnout as a nervous system pattern, not a personal failure

• How control hides inside efficiency, productivity, and being on top of things

• Why subconscious healing happens in micro moments, not massive breakthroughs

• The difference between fixing yourself and becoming aware of how you live

• Fertility symptoms as information, not punishment

• What motherhood reveals when old patterns go unchecked

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This episode is an invitation to slow down without forcing yourself to slow down. To notice without fixing. To see how much of your fertility journey is being run on autopilot while you are just trying to survive another day of doing all the right things.

If you have ever felt like you need more information, more discipline, more control, this conversation might gently irritate you in the best way. Because the truth is, transformation does not come from tackling the big dramatic moments. It comes from noticing how you move through your day while making breakfast, checking your phone, planning what comes next.

This episode is about awareness, not effort. About where your nervous system actually lives. And why fertility healing often asks us to clean up the small invisible patterns before life asks us to mother through them. There is something quietly powerful waiting for you in the ordinary moments you usually rush past.

“Presence does not require effort. It requires permission.”

01:07 Why slowing down feels unbearable when control patterns are active

02:35 How control hides in ordinary moments, not big decisions

03:35 Why awareness changes reality more than overdoing ever could

05:55 You don’t need a new mindset, you need to notice where you live

08:22 What happens when you stop fixing, pushing, and managing

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/The%20Subconscious%20Patterns%20Running%20Your%20Fertility%20Journey%20on%20Autopilot

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“Control driven by fear doesn’t create safety. It creates vigilance.”

• The subtle ways control hides inside responsibility and maturity

• Why most women do not experience control as force, but as protection

• How subconscious control patterns keep the nervous system tense

• The generational imprint of women holding everything together

• The difference between true safety and low level vigilance

• Why doing all the right fertility things can still feel exhausting

• Noticing control without fixing, changing, or judging

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This episode is a quiet one. Not flashy. Not dramatic. And honestly, the most important place to start. We are talking about control, not the loud obvious kind, but the kind that feels responsible. Helpful. Protective. The kind most women were praised for growing up.

I share how control once felt like safety in my own body and how that same pattern followed me into fertility and motherhood. Not because I was rigid or difficult, but because my nervous system thought staying on top of everything was the only way to relax later. Spoiler alert. Later never comes.

This week is not about fixing control or doing something differently. It is about noticing the moment your body tightens and asking one simple question. Is this safety or is this tension? That awareness alone is more powerful than any checklist. And next week, we go deeper into how this shows up in the most mundane moments of your day.

“Control doesn’t feel aggressive. It feels responsible. Mature. Protective.”

01:07 When control feels like safety instead of stress

02:34 Generational patterns and the emotional labor women carry

04:49 Why control actually makes motherhood and fertility heavier

06:13 The nervous system difference between safety and vigilance

07:42 Becoming the ultimate observer in everyday moments

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-2-fertility-burnout-nobody-talks-about-the-cost-of-quiet-control

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“You do not need to control your way into safety. You need to notice where control is running the show.”

Topics Discussed

• Fertility burnout and why over-efforting feels safe but keeps you stuck

• IVF trauma and how control becomes a subconscious coping strategy

• The illusion of control as protection for the nervous system

• Subconscious healing through awareness, not fixing

• Why frequency behind action matters more than the action itself

• Gut health, mindset, emotional healing, and nervous system regulation as lived experiences

• Slowing down without losing momentum or responsibility

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be.

This episode kicks off a gentle but powerful series that is not about learning more or doing more. It is about noticing what is already happening beneath the surface. Especially the places where control has quietly become your safety net. If you are navigating fertility burnout, IVF trauma, or that constant feeling of having to stay on top of everything just to survive, this conversation is for you.

We talk about the mundane moments no one glamorizes. Your to do list. The way you plan your day. The subtle micromanaging that feels responsible but actually keeps your nervous system on edge. I am not here to tell you to stop controlling your life. I am here to help you see where control is driving, and where it might be costing you more than it gives.

This is not about judgment or immediate change. It is about radical honesty, awareness, and compassion. The kind that opens the door to real subconscious healing. By the end of this episode, you may realize that the slow, seemingly pointless noticing is exactly where the deepest shifts in fertility, mindset, emotional healing, and frequency actually begin. And next week, we go even deeper into why control feels safe, and how to gently unwind it.

“If slowing down feels pointless, that is usually where the real work is.”

Timestamps

01:05: Week one begins, why the slow, mundane work is where true shifts happen

02:03: The fertility to do list and how control hides in plain sight

02:57: Control, obligation, and asking whether it actually lights you up

03:54: Frequency behind action, inspired movement versus pushing from fear

05:47: Why the old fast ways did not work, and the invitation to slow down with grace

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-one-infertility-ivf-burnout-control-the-slow-shifts-that-actually-change-everything

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.