"There is a difference between being responsible and being regulated."

• Control disguised as care, responsibility, and being proactive

• Why overdoing can feel safe but keep the nervous system stuck

• The quiet exhaustion of managing everything and everyone

• How fertility burnout shows up in the mundane moments

• The illusion of success created by control

• Becoming the ultimate observer without judgment

• Why doing nothing for a moment can be deeply regulating

Sometimes fixing is not love. It is fear in a more socially acceptable outfit.

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This episode is a brutally honest look at control. Not the obvious kind. The sneaky kind. The kind that looks like fixing, managing, improving, optimizing, and being the responsible one. The kind that gets praised. And the kind that quietly keeps your nervous system on edge while your body whispers, or screams, for relief.

I share a very real moment where my own control patterns showed up while recording this very series. The urge to do more. Add more. Fix something that was already enough. And how noticing that impulse changed everything. Because the work that actually shifts fertility, burnout, and emotional exhaustion is not flashy. It is boring. It is mundane. And it asks you to sit with discomfort instead of outrunning it.

If you have ever felt like you are doing everything right and still not seeing the shift you want, this conversation will land. Especially if slowing down feels like giving up. Next week, we are gently reframing surrender so it stops feeling terrifying and starts feeling safe.

01:30 Catching control patterns in real time

03:40 When fixing feels like care but creates burnout

05:10 The illusion of success created by overcontrol

07:45 Why doing less can be deeply regulating

10:50 Becoming the ultimate observer without judgment

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/The%20Illusion%20of%20Control%20in%20Infertility%20IVF%20Why%20Less%20Is%20Not%20Giving%20Up

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

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Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.