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Father's Refuge

Father's Refuge

De : James Moffitt
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The Father’s Refuge Podcast is a faith‑centered space for fathers navigating grief, loss, trauma, and emotional healing. After losing my daughter Jessica to cancer, I discovered how little grief support for fathers existed — and how many men were grieving in silence.

Each episode explores men’s mental health, Christian grief, mourning, bereavement, and the emotional journey of rebuilding life after loss. Through honest conversations, personal stories, and faith‑rooted encouragement, this podcast offers hope to fathers who feel unseen in their grief.

Topics we explore:

grief support for fathers, men grieving, Christian grief, loss and healing, bereavement, trauma recovery, fatherhood and grief, emotional healing, hope after loss, spiritual healing, navigating grief as a dad

© 2026 Father's Refuge Christianisme Hygiène et vie saine Ministère et évangélisme Psychologie Psychologie et psychiatrie Sciences sociales Spiritualité
Épisodes
  • - Making Room for Hope in Hard Seasons—with The Baking Pastor

    - Making Room for Hope in Hard Seasons—with The Baking Pastor
    Oct 11 2026
    I would love to hear from you. Click the link nowThe Baking Pastor on grief, presence, and soul careIn this episode of Father’s Refuge, host James Moffitt speaks with Laura Sharpwaits, known as The Baking Pastor, about how food, home visits, and honest presence can become ministry in seasons of illness and loss. Laura shares her journey through breast cancer, infertility, widowhood, and grief counseling, offering practical wisdom for anyone carrying sorrow or supporting someone who is.We discuss how ordinary acts like baking a meal, sitting at the counter, or simply showing up can create room for healing. Laura also explains her idea of “worship in the wait,” soul care, and why grief is not something people should rush to “get over.”Key topicsLaura shares how she became “The Baking Pastor” after bringing baked goods on home visits to older church members.In this episode, Laura describes the counter as a place of honesty, comfort, and pastoral care where people can bring their “junk” and talk openly.She tells the story of receiving a visitor during chemotherapy and how that meal became a reminder not to deny others the blessing of giving.Laura and James discuss how church fellowship has changed, especially after the pandemic, and how home visits have become less common.Laura explains her breast cancer diagnosis, the financial strain of losing health insurance, and the grief of learning she could not biologically have children.She describes “worship in the wait” as the spiritual discipline of waiting through appointments, results, and uncertainty while staying close to God.Laura talks about prayer and hearing from God through Scripture, daily conversations, and small nudges throughout the day.She explains why receiving help was difficult at first and how learning to let others pour into her changed her.A memorable story involves a nurse and several medical staff praying over Laura when her veins were difficult to access before surgery.Laura shares insights from widowhood and grief, emphasizing that grief has no timeline and is not limited to death alone.The conversation covers how men and women may grieve differently, how identity gets tied to work, and why fathers do not need to always be “the strong one.”Laura defines soul care as making room for your own replenishment before you run dry.Timestamps00:00 - Welcome to Father’s Refuge and introduction to Laura Sharpwaits 01:00 - Why she is called “The Baking Pastor” 02:00 - Why the kitchen counter invites honest conversation 02:37 - A chemo-day visitor and learning not to deny others their blessing 03:48 - How church fellowship has changed in the age of social media 06:01 - Home visits, one-on-one attention, and post-pandemic isolation 07:24 - Breast cancer, financial loss, and infertility 09:52 - “Worship in the wait” and growing closer to God through uncertainty 12:17 - How Laura says she hears from God through Scripture and prayer 14:22 - Learning to receive care instead of always giving it 15:29 - A nurse prays over Laura before surgery and helps her get to the operating room 16:46 - What a spouse needs when illness cannot be fixed 18:15 - Life after the death of a spouse and the reality of grief 19:06 - Moving, sorting, and the long aftermath of widowhood 20:30 - Grief myths, bad advice, and why people need support beyond the funeral 21:33 - Different ways men and women may grieve 22:17 - Why pastors often are not equipped to help with grief 24:06 - The “God will give you what you can bear” myth and a crisis with no water or air conditioning 26:26 - Speaking up for what you need during grief 29:50 - Why people should not fake hope before they are ready 30:46 - Why “being strong” is a grief myth for fathers 32:57 - Talking to children honestly about sadness and loss 34:25 - Supporting family by being vulnerable, not pretending to have all the answers 35:20 - Job loss, identity, and the need for a support circle before crisis hits 42:51 - What soul care means in everyday life 44:37 - Prayer when you only have one word left 45:37 - What refuge means and how to picture a safe place 47:46 - Laura’s book The Empty Chair at the Counter and the upcoming five-night retreat 50:26 - Her private community forum and why grief support needs safety 51:45 - Closing prayer for listeners walking through grief, illness, or exhaustion 53:36 - How to find the community app and where to connect with LauraAt the Counter (Community and App)Website: https://bakingpastor.com/counter/Apple: https://apps.apple.com/in/app/at-the-counter/id6794360404Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bakingpastor.appNotable quotes“Don’t deny them their blessing.”“Worship in the wait.”“Being strong is a grief myth.”Action itemsIf you are grieving, tell someone what you actually need instead of expecting them to guess.If you are supporting someone who is grieving, show up without trying to...
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    49 min
  • Grief and Gratitude - The Father Who Chose Both with Mark Stackpole

    Grief and Gratitude - The Father Who Chose Both with Mark Stackpole
    Oct 9 2026
    I would love to hear from you. Click the link nowMark Stackpole on grieving his daughter Corinne, gratitude, and showing up for fathers in painThis conversation is a deeply personal reflection on fatherhood, grief, and the long aftermath of losing a child. James Moffitt speaks with Mark Stackpole, who shares the story of his daughter Corinne, how his family has changed, and why gratitude, presence, and kindness have become central to his life.We discuss what it means to keep going after devastating loss, how spouses can support each other through shared grief, and why fathers in crisis need simple, immediate support rather than advice or fixes.Key topicsIn this episode, Mark Stackpole introduces himself as a father of three and an educator who has spent his career helping students succeed.Mark describes the reality of living in a family transformed by loss, explaining that grief and gratitude now coexist in daily life.He shares the story of Corinne, the daughter he describes as loud, kind, affectionate, and deeply present with the people she loved.Mark walks through Corinne’s illness, from early symptoms that seemed routine to her diagnosis of acute myeloid leukemia on April 23, 2025.He explains how a stem cell transplant initially worked, then the leukemia returned because of mutations that made treatment difficult.Mark recounts the final stage of Corinne’s illness, when a lung infection became too much for her weakened immune system, and how she passed after nearly 11 months of treatment.He reflects on what surprised him most in grief: not anger, but a sudden turn toward thankfulness for the 22 years they had with Corinne.James and Mark compare the experience of being a father under grief pressure, including the expectation that men should stay strong and emotionally contained.They talk about how spouses can support each other by not trying to fix everything, but by listening, holding hands, and simply being present.Mark emphasizes that support for grieving families is often as simple as showing up, bringing food, babysitting, sitting quietly, or making room for a couple to reconnect.The episode closes with Mark encouraging fathers in crisis to keep breathing, steady themselves, and focus on whatever small actions are still within their control.Timestamps00:00 - A father’s story of grief, gratitude, and faith 00:57 - Mark Stackpole introduces his family and work in education 01:43 - Why grief and gratitude now live together 03:25 - Fatherhood, infertility, and raising three close siblings 06:18 - Corinne’s personality and the kind of presence she carried 10:14 - Early symptoms, diagnosis, and the first chemotherapy rush 11:15 - Stem cell transplant, remission, and the setback that followed 12:45 - The infection that became too much for Corinne’s body 14:09 - The gift of a long goodbye 16:24 - Why Mark expected anger and found gratitude instead 18:49 - Choosing gratitude over resentment after 22 years together 20:26 - Grief, triggers, and the reality that healing is not linear 22:36 - The pressure on fathers to be the strong one 24:31 - Therapy, lack of support, and lessons from a previous loss 29:50 - Why fathers need self care and emotional honesty 33:41 - Grief does not expire on someone else’s timeline 35:13 - The guilt fathers can feel when they cannot protect their child 38:50 - Why people say hurtful things when they mean well 42:14 - How grief changed the marriage dynamic 46:30 - What spouses need most: presence, not fixing 49:36 - The simple ways friends and family can truly help 50:50 - Raising sons to show up for other people 52:27 - Kindness as strength, not weakness 55:28 - Corinne still “bossing” her dad around 57:59 - What to tell a father whose child has just been diagnosed 60:09 - Mark closes with appreciation for the chance to share Corinne’s legacyNotable quotes"Grief and gratitude go together.""We choose gratitude.""Keep breathing."Support the showFacebook Pagehttps://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61583591441571Podcast Supporthttps://www.fathersrefuge.com/support/One Time donation https://www.buzzsprout.com/2528600/supportMonthly SupportWant to be a guest?https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/fathersrefugeMobile Follow Pagehttps://www.fathersrefuge.com/follow/
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    1 h
  • Faith, Trauma, and the Will to Rebuild with Jay Setchell

    Faith, Trauma, and the Will to Rebuild with Jay Setchell
    Oct 2 2026
    I would love to hear from you. Click the link nowThe Strength Within You: Jay Setchell on Faith, Survival, and Refusing to QuitJames Moffitt speaks with Jay Setchell, a U.S. Marine Corps veteran whose life was reshaped by a near-fatal car accident and a long series of injuries, surgeries, and recoveries. Jay shares how farm life, military service, prayer, and relentless discipline helped him rebuild again and again.This conversation matters because it is not just a survival story. Jay offers a practical worldview for hardship: keep moving, ask for help, stay connected to community, and focus on what you can still do.Key topicsIn this episode: Jay Setchell traces his life from a hard-working farm childhood in north central Illinois to the Marine Corps, then through multiple life-threatening accidents and long-term disability.In this episode: He describes the foundational lessons of farm life—urgency, responsibility, frugality, and the idea that “if it is to be, it is up to me.”In this episode: Jay recounts the near-fatal Marine Corps car crash that left him hospitalized for a year, followed later by another devastating accident with a drunk driver.In this episode: He shares the July 4, 1981 swimming pool accident that broke his neck in four places, led to drowning, and resulted in 73 surgeries.In this episode: Jay explains how prayer and faith became central to his recovery, especially through a prayer offered by a stranger and sustained support from church communities.In this episode: He emphasizes mindset during rehabilitation, including setting small goals, looking ahead rather than down, and measuring progress by persistence rather than speed.In this episode: Jay discusses how community used to function in rural life, from neighbors bringing food to families in need to church networks praying for one another.In this episode: He reflects on the emotional burden of grief, especially when his children were in danger and when he later lost one of the Marines who helped save his life.In this episode: Jay talks about his book, The Strength Within You: It’s Always Too Soon to Quit, which focuses less on the accidents themselves and more on how to respond to adversity.In this episode: He closes with a call to reach out to others, especially disabled or hurting people, and to remember that strength often comes through connection.Timestamps00:00 — Jay Setchell’s life story in one sentence: farm kid, Marine, survivor, builder 03:15 — Sales success at GTE and the sudden neck-breaking accident in a swimming pool 05:15 — Prayer, patient of the year, and learning to see rehab as a mission 07:08 — Retiring early, building businesses, and refusing to treat quitting as the easy way out 10:07 — Farm work as childhood training for responsibility and endurance 11:27 — “If it is to be, it is up to me” and why Jay still repeats it to his sons 13:24 — School, factory work, and balancing chores, class, and exhaustion as a teenager 16:18 — How the Marine Corps sharpened discipline that was already forged on the farm 17:15 — The silo auger accident and the lesson that life can turn in seconds 20:21 — Sunday school, Methodist roots, and how neighborhood care shaped his faith 23:30 — Church prayer networks and the recovery gains Jay saw as spiritual support 27:02 — Faith as confidence in what you cannot see, not just wishful thinking 28:00 — Parallel bars, looking ahead, and setting a goal at the far end 30:50 — Purpose, grit, and why Jay says he will not quit until the Lord takes him 33:26 — The long road back: traction, wired jaws, and learning to endure pain 36:27 — Why the farm motto still matters during recovery and when asking others for help 39:17 — Internal injuries, patience, and staying busy while the body heals 42:09 — Reframing success as service to others rather than awards or money 43:25 — Grief, divorce, and the terror of nearly losing his children 46:16 — The childhood pool rescue, the koi pond rescue, and a daughter saved from bleeding out 52:19 — A son choking in a chair, a quick rescue, and the fear of seeing a child in distress 55:44 — Visiting one of the Marines who helped save Jay’s life before he passed away 57:26 — Jay’s book, The Strength Within You: It’s Always Too Soon to Quit 58:52 — Choices, consequences, and why bad hands can still win if played well 61:11 — Reaching out to others in hotel lobbies, disability, and the power of empathy 63:29 — Closing takeaway: broken bodies do not have to mean a broken spiritNotable quotesCopy“If it is to be, it is up to me.”Copy“It’s not what’s happened to you. It’s what you’ve learned from it.”Copy“There’s always an opportunity to get ahead. Life is too short, time is too precious, and it goes way too fast.”Support the showFacebook Pagehttps://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61583591441571Podcast Supporthttps://www.fathersrefuge.com/support/One Time...
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    56 min
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