We're so close to being finished watching every damn frame of Resident Evil! We just have to do this last little relatively simple job and OH DAMMIT OUCH don't be an LJ, Bryan! As we dig into director Zach Cregger's just-released reboot, you're getting our very new and honest reactions, but you're also getting:

• Stories about doing an escape room with Zach Cregger!
• More great facts about Constantin films!
• Uncomfortable similarities to one of our real human children!
• The true scream of one of our hosts!
• MAXINE
• Another great pitch for a sequel from the creator of LEON
• Thoughtful Franchise Talk, the final round of superlatives, and our surprising Definitive Ranking of the Resident Evil films!

Plus: tune into the end of the episode to learn which franchise we're watching Every Damn Frame of next (after a brief hiatus.)

This week: we ride motorcycle, we shoot gun, we make bad joke, we fire rocket launcher - all in our own personal way. After saying we weren't gonna do it, our hosts have in fact seen ALL FOUR computer-generated "canon" Resident Evil movies and for once, listening to this episode will take less time than watching the films yourself! Amazing! You know who else is amazing? Leon S. Kennedy. Listen as our hosts admit they finally "get it" and jump fully onboard the Leon train. Plus: how many of what we've determined to be Resident Evil's signature themes will we see in the films? Will there be computer maps? Zombie dogs? A convoy? Will anyone live life to the fullest? Will any out of left field moment surpass the greatest so far? Hint: MAYBE. YEAH. Wait until you "meet Sarah."

Other surprising revelations:

• The "Imzadi" of the Resident Evil paperback universe
• Everyone needs to keep better tabs on their brothers
• Being friends with the President
• Throwing china at a different President
• Surprising beauty effects of the boob scarab

It's the penultimamte episode of Series One - the new film is almost here, and we have now seen every damn frame that exists until September 18.

Itchy Tasty. Why did Leon take this job? Why did WE take this job? Is there something in the water, or is watching every damn frame of Johannes Roberts' Welcome to Raccoon City slowly driving us insane? We stopped off at Blockbuster on the way to Planet Hollywood to buy a used DVD of this first attempt at a live action reboot to see what a Resident Evil movie is like without every gamer's least favorite character Alice, and it's a wild ride.

Topics for Yelling About in Police Stations

• Being a "Wife Guy" means always playing the villain
• Studio Requests to Include Time Travel
• Brother Hunts
• The moment Jesse is finally onboard with the reboot
• Return of the Mack (TRAIN,) Return of TRAIN
• The fine art of the deranged needle drop
• Resident Evil is now a period piece

We also discuss our thoughts and fears about the upcoming 2026 reboot and what any of this means for the future of a franchise that quite literally dies but doesn't stay dead.

SHOW NOTES

Liz really wants you to see this Legends of Tomorrow "Return of the Mack" clip.