Épisodes

  • New Year, New Intentions: Designing Your Monogamy Roadmap for 2026.
    Dec 20 2025

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    New Year, New Love? Alan Cox, The Gay Monogamy Coach, shows gay professional men how to design their dream relationship in 2026! Learn to set SMART goals, break old patterns, and find lasting connection. Email empoweringgaymen@gmail.com for a free call & mention "Podcast Discovery Call"! Skool community, 14-day challenge, & Zoom workshops await!

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    21 min
  • Holiday refresh.
    Dec 20 2025

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    Tired of Holiday Tension? Reconnect with Your Partner.

    Are the holidays straining your relationship? "Holiday Refresh" addresses the unique pressures faced by gay professional men during the festive season. Learn how to set boundaries, communicate openly, and prioritize self-care. Alan Cox provides actionable strategies to transform stress into connection. Listen now and reclaim your joy!

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    11 min
  • Couples at Christmas: Reclaiming joy and connection in your relationship.
    Dec 19 2025

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    Couples at Christmas: Reclaiming joy and connection in your relationship.

    Is the holiday season feeling more like a pressure cooker than a Hallmark movie? Join Alan Cox, The Monogamy Coach (ICF-accredited life coach, CBT practitioner, and author), as he tackles the realities of navigating relationships during the most stressful time of year.

    In this episode, Alan dives deep into the common stressors that can derail your connection, from tricky family dynamics and tight budgets to mismatched expectations. Drawing on his experience working with couples like Ben and Tom, he unveils practical, actionable strategies to not just survive the holidays, but truly thrive.

    Discover how to recognize stress patterns, use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques to break negative cycles, and proactively nurture intimacy and joy in your relationship. Learn the power of dedicated "couple time," clear communication, and expressing heartfelt appreciation.

    Ready to reclaim the magic of the season and create a holiday experience that strengthens your relationship instead of tearing it apart? Tune in for invaluable insights and practical exercises you can implement today!

    If you're ready to create a thriving, long-term relationship filled with love and joy, Alan invites you to book a complimentary discovery call. Email empoweringgaymen@gmail.com and mention "Podcast Discovery Call" to schedule your session.

    Plus, don't miss the weekly Zoom workshops on Tuesdays at 7pm GMT!

    Connect with Alan Cox:

    • Email: empoweringgaymen@gmail.com
    • Weekly Zoom workshops: Tuesdays at 7pm GMT

    (Music: ‘The merriest time of year’ by Shimmer)

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    13 min
  • Family tables & real talk: Staying true to you this holiday season.
    Dec 18 2025

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    Tired of holiday dinners feeling like a test of your identity? 😩 Join Alan Cox, accredited gay life coach and author of The Gay Monogamy Coach, as he dives into navigating tricky family dynamics without losing yourself. Learn practical CBT techniques to shift negative thoughts, set boundaries, and reclaim your voice at the table.

    This episode is for gay men ready to move past short-term dating and create lasting, meaningful relationships. Discover how to define success on your own terms and leave the holidays feeling empowered, not drained. 💪

    Ready for a change? Email empoweringgaymen@gmail.com with "Podcast Discovery Call" to book a free call and design a coaching plan that helps you create lasting change. Available on all good hosting sites.

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    15 min
  • Conquering holiday loneliness.
    Dec 17 2025

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    Conquering holiday loneliness: A gay men's guide to thriving.

    Holidays stressing you out? Especially as a gay man? Feeling like everyone else has it figured out, and you're just... on the sidelines? Alan Cox totally gets it. In this episode of The Gay Monogamy Coach, he dives deep into the stuff that makes the holidays particularly tricky for us. He's not just throwing out generic advice – he's talking about our unique challenges. Using a powerful combo of CBT and coaching, Alan helps you kick those negative thoughts to the curb, build your confidence, and create real, genuine connections. Discover how to flip the script and turn feelings of isolation into opportunities for self-care, amazing friendships, and maybe even a little holiday magic. Seriously, listen now and start creating a holiday story you actually want to be a part of – you've so got this!

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    8 min
  • 5. The Comparison Trap: Social media and relationship expectations.
    Jul 2 2025

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    Episode 5: The Comparison Trap – Social media and relationship expectations.
    In this powerful episode, Alan Cox, ICF-accredited life coach and CBT practitioner, explores how social media silently sabotages gay relationships by feeding unrealistic comparisons. If you’ve ever found yourself measuring your love life against glossy Instagram couples, this episode is for you.

    You’ll discover:

    • Why comparison is a toxic cognitive distortion.
    • How to stop letting curated posts dictate your relationship satisfaction;
    • Proven CBT techniques to break free from the “comparison trap.”
    • Digital detox strategies that strengthen real connection.
    • What healthy, fulfilling relationship goals actually look like.

    Whether you’re single, dating, or already partnered, this episode will help you shift from performing for social media to truly living your relationship.

    Are you ready to build a love life that’s authentic, not just aesthetic?

    Book a free discovery call with Alan: empoweringgaymen@gmail.com
    Weekly Zoom workshops every Tuesday @ 7pm GMT

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    18 min
  • 4. Redefining masculinity in gay relationships.
    Jul 2 2025

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    Episode 4: Redefining Masculinity in Gay Relationships.
    Hosted by Alan Cox – The Gay Monogamy Coach.

    Are you tired of the cycle of hookups and emotionally unavailable men? Do you crave deep connection but find yourself pulling away just when things get serious?

    In this powerful episode, gay life coach and CBT practitioner Alan Cox breaks down how toxic masculinity sabotages emotional intimacy in gay relationships—and what you can do about it. Drawing from both personal experience and years of coaching successful, intelligent gay men, Alan exposes the unconscious scripts that keep us guarded, distant, and ultimately unfulfilled.

    Key Topics Covered:

    • Why so many gay men fear commitment, even when they deeply desire it.
    • How toxic masculinity teaches us that vulnerability equals weakness—and why that’s a lie.
    • Real client stories (like Martin, David, and James) who broke free from emotional walls.
    • The “Vulnerability Gradient”: a step-by-step method to open up safely and authentically.
    • Weekly Emotional Check-ins: a practice that strengthens connection and trust.
    • Practical tools like “Feel, Think, Want” and Emotional Mirroring to express your needs clearly.
    • How emotional openness makes you more attractive to the right kind of partner (The Intimacy Paradox).
    • The liberating truth: your authenticity is your superpower.

    Your Challenge: Have one truly vulnerable conversation this week. It could change everything.

    For Listeners Ready to Transform:
    If this episode hit home, it’s time to take the next step. Alan works with gay men who are ready to overcome fear, embrace intimacy, and finally build the relationship they deserve. His 1:1 coaching programme dives deep into emotional healing, attachment dynamics, and personalized relationship strategies that create lasting change.

    📞 Book a free discovery call by emailing: empoweringgaymen@gmail.com
    Mention the podcast and explore how Alan can help you move from fear to freedom in love.

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    14 min
  • 3. "The Fear of Commitment: What's really underneath."
    Jul 2 2025

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    "The Fear of Commitment: What's Really Underneath"

    If you've ever found yourself lying awake at 2 AM, your heart racing because the amazing guy you've been seeing just used the word "future" in a sentence about the two of you... this episode is for you.

    Maybe you've been here before: You meet someone incredible. The connection is electric. The sex is mind-blowing. You actually enjoy spending time together clothed. For the first time in years, you can imagine what "settling down" might look like. But then something shifts.

    That familiar panic creeps in. Your mind starts flooding with "what ifs." What if he gets bored? What if I lose myself? What if I'm not cut out for this? What if, what if, what if... And before you know it, you're picking fights, creating distance, or worse – you're on the apps again, convincing yourself that maybe you're just "not the relationship type."

    Sound familiar?

    Here's what I want you to know: You're not broken. You're not commitment-phobic. You're not destined to be alone. What you're experiencing is your nervous system trying to protect you from perceived danger – and with the right understanding and tools, you can learn to feel safe in love.

    I'm Alan Cox, your host and an ICF-accredited gay life coach who specializes in helping successful gay men like you move beyond the endless cycle of casual hookups and build the meaningful, committed relationships you actually want. I've walked this exact path myself, and I've guided hundreds of men from fear to freedom in love.

    Today, we're going deep. We're not just talking about commitment fears – we're exploring what's really underneath them. I'll share the specific attachment patterns that keep gay men stuck, the cognitive distortions that fuel your anxiety, and most importantly, the practical tools that will help you move through these fears instead of being controlled by them.

    You'll discover why your brain treats commitment like a threat, how your early experiences shaped your relationship blueprint, and the step-by-step process to rewire your nervous system for love and connection.

    But here's what makes this different from every other relationship podcast you've tried: I'm not just giving you generic advice. As a gay man who's done this work professionally and personally, I understand the unique challenges we face – the lack of relationship role models, the impact of minority stress, the way societal rejection can make us reject ourselves first.

    By the end of this episode, you'll have a clear roadmap for transforming your relationship with commitment. You'll understand your patterns, you'll have tools to work with your fears, and you'll know exactly what steps to take next.

    If you're tired of your own patterns, if you're ready to stop sabotaging good things, and if you're serious about building the committed relationship you've always wanted – stay with me. This conversation could change everything.

    Ready to transform your relationship with commitment? Let's dive in...

    Contact Information:

    • Email: empoweringgaymen@gmail.com
    • Mention "Podcast Discovery Call" in your message
    • Weekly Zoom workshops: Tuesdays at 7pm GMT



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    22 min