Who is the good girl? She's an overachiever, she's a people pleaser and she hates being out of control.

In 2020 I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer and my inner good girl tried to win at chemo!

She tried to manage and control.

She tried to not be a burden.

She tried to avoid conflict and confrontation.

Sometimes it worked but sometimes it didn't.

She also tried to use her powers of prediction to figure out the ending.

This episode is about where my mind went while waiting for a routine test result and the moment I realised I really couldn't control the outcomes of the treatment. Some how I had to find the balance between naive optimism and total catastrophizing.

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Gillian Wray welcomes Lea, who helps women "come back to themselves" — work born from her own journey through people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and the search for external validation.

Lea shares her story of leaving home after a painful relationship, initially feeling profound relief from a suffocating environment, only to discover she'd recreated the same patterns abroad. It took hitting rock bottom before she began investing in herself — through the gym, online programs, human design, and past life regression. These tools, particularly hypnosis, helped her access her subconscious, gain perspective, and release deep-seated fears.

The conversation explores inner child work, emotional regulation skills Lea developed while nannying, the particular shame that comes from tying identity to others' perceptions, the necessity of boundaries, using isolation as self-protection, and the practice of consciously curating one's environment — from social media feeds to news consumption.

Find Lea

On instagram @healingmindsetshifts

or Facebook Lea Vuga

Visit beyondthegoodgirlpodcast.com

In this episode, I sit down with the wonderful Michaela Silsby and talk about who her parenting journey, led her to her own diagnosis of Autism and ADHD. She shares the struggles of being a parent to neurodivergent children in a system that often leaves them struggling. Michaela became an advocate for her daughter in the school system and now using her voice to campaign for changes in bills that affect 1000s of parents and children. She shares the reality on her Facebook Page Spilling the tea on autism and ADHD

through poetry, reels and posts that help other parents, carers and young people feel seen and heard.

The Voice of Endurance

I had a plan for this episode. Diana Nyad, cultural commentary, the mythology of the endurance hero. But something else happened instead.

What came out was this: the performance of okayness. The way grief — real grief, the kind that lives in your body — gets quietly managed in private rooms while you hold it together for the world. I talk about stillbirth. I talk about cancer. I talk about what it costs to be the person who endures.

This is the episode I didn't mean to make, and probably the one I needed to.

For anyone who has ever been privately falling apart while publicly holding on.

The Woman Who Recorded Her First Audiobook Under a Duvet

Alice Sockett spent 20 years in corporate life before anxiety and grief brought everything to a halt. What came next: beach walks, a RADA course, a dog clicker, and a cabin bed with duvets — and somehow, a full-time career as an audiobook narrator. This is a story about what joy sounds like when you stop performing the wrong life.

Alice talks to Gillian about the breakdown that made her stop, the small daily rituals that brought her back to herself, and the almost accidental audition on ACX that changed everything. She's refreshingly honest about the unglamorous reality of starting out — the improvised duvet studio, teaching herself Audacity, using a dog clicker to mark her retakes — and equally honest about what she got wrong so you don't have to.

She also built an Instagram following of thousands, not by performing expertise, but by just telling the truth about the process. That community now includes carers, people with disabilities, and anyone who wondered whether there might be a second act waiting for them.

Find Alice on instagram @alicesockettaudio

Plus: Gillian shares her own update — she built a booth, started auditioning, and booked her first narration job.

In this episode:

• Why Alice walked away from a 20-year career and what finally gave her permission to stop
• The RADA course that cracked something open
• How to start recording without spending a fortune on gear
• Why your accent is not the problem
• What honest content does that polished content can't
• How to love the work without burning out on it again

If you feel burned out and need somewhere to land you can join me in the SpeakEasy. An affordable monthly membership for women finding their way back to joy- more info HERE

Your home is talking. The question is… are you listening? 🏠✨In this episode, we explore the voice of things and how our belongings quietly take up not just physical space, but mental square footage too. From guilt-inducing exercise bikes to wardrobes that whisper “you used to fit in me,” we dive into the surprising emotional weight of clutter and the internal voices it triggers.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your stuff, struggled with decluttering guilt, or held onto something because it was expensive, inherited, or a gift… this conversation will feel uncomfortably familiar in the best way.In this episode, we talk about:Why clutter creates mental loadThe psychology of emotional attachment to objectsGuilt around expensive purchases and unwanted giftsLetting go without shameHow decluttering connects to people-pleasing and “good girl” conditioningSelling unused items and reclaiming your spaceChoosing joy over obligationYou’ll hear stories about:The infamous exercise bike guilt spiralA broken standing desk that won’t stop judgingClothes that comment on your bodyInherited objects and emotional obligationA vintage typewriter that sparks joyMeaningful gifts that still hold powerInspired by the philosophy of Marie Kondo and her “spark joy” approach, this episode goes beyond tidying and into identity. Because decluttering is not just about minimalism. It’s about becoming a woman who chooses what she keeps and why.We explore what it means to live beyond the good girl and step into archetypes like the Lover and the Huntress — women who know what they want and are not distracted by noisy belongings or outdated expectations.If you’re ready to:✨ Release guilt✨ Clear mental clutter✨ Reclaim your space✨ Stop people-pleasing through possessions✨ Make room for what you truly desire…this episode is for you.💫 Join The SpeakEasy MembershipIf this resonated, you’ll love The SpeakEasy — my monthly membership where we explore archetypes, pleasure, identity and living beyond conditioning. We meet on Zoom three times a month for powerful conversations and accountability.Founders rate: £35/monthDrop a comment if you'd like an invite or head to my website

unmuted-podcast.com

If you'd like to take control of your finances you can find more info about Awaken here-https://definancecoaching.com#Decluttering #MentalLoad #EmotionalClutter #WomenEmpowerment #MarieKondo #PersonalGrowth #BeyondTheGoodGirl #Minimalism #MindsetShift #LettingGo #Archetypes #WomenInBusiness

Gillian chats with Robyn Harris about reclaiming your body, mind, and joy. Robyn shares her journey from burnout and ineffective treatments to empowerment through understanding how thoughts, beliefs, and nervous system regulation shape wellbeing. She dives into creating internal safety, the role of the vagus nerve, breathwork, and the power of response-ability over pressure.

Find out more on Robyn's website. HERE

or listen to the VIG podcast

In this episode of Unmuted: Beyond the Good Girl, host Gillian Wray dives into this month’s SpeakEasy archetype theme: The Rebel.

But this isn’t leather jackets and dramatic exits.

This is the quiet, simmering inner protest that builds after years of being “good.” The over-functioning. The self-silencing. The staying when you already know something isn’t right.

Using her signature “fire phrases” exercise, Gillian explores how the Rebel often emerges not as chaos, but as a signal. A flare in the night sky that says: this isn’t working anymore.

She unpacks:

• Why rebellion is romanticised in culture but pathologized in women

• How the suppressed or shadow Rebel shows up as burn-it-all-down energy, contrariness, or bridge-burning

• The pattern of quiet rebellion, where resentment builds until a sudden, extreme exit

• Her own story of ignoring deep discomfort in a teaching job in the UAE before making a radical shift to Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia

• What an integrated Rebel looks like and how she helps you name what’s wrong, fight injustice, and realign with your values

Instead of shaming the fire, Gillian offers compassion, curiosity, and powerful journaling practices to work with it.

She leaves listeners with this prompt:
“Where am I being too nice to be honest, but too resentful to stay quiet?”

Plus:

• An invitation to join the Speakeasy membership for monthly archetype explorations, coaching circles, and journaling tools

• A peek at current and upcoming themes: The Lover and next month’s Crone

• A preview of next week’s guest episode with Robyn Harris on growing up in Northern Ireland, wonder, and Dancing with Life

If your inner Rebel has been pacing the halls lately, this episode is your invitation to listen before she flips the table.

Join Me in the SpeakEasy