This week we’re back for another session of “Ask Dr. Joy, our exclusive Patreon segment where I answer questions submitted by our community members. Today, we’re talking about the journey of getting back to yourself. If you’ve ever wondered, “Who am I when I’m not performing?” If you’re learning to trust your voice, reclaiming your worth, or finally choosing you after years of everything from caretaking to code-switching, you’ll want to check it out.

About the Podcast

The Therapy for Black Girls Podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.

Resources & Announcements

Want to reflect on this conversation in community? Join us inside our Patreon community where we’re unpacking this episode together.

You can now catch episodes of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on YouTube. Be sure to subscribe to get new episodes every week.

Did you know you can leave us a voice note with your questions for the podcast? If you have a question you'd like some feedback on, topics you'd like to hear covered, or want to suggest movies or books for us to review, drop us a message at memo.fm/therapyforblackgirls and let us know what’s on your mind. We just might share it on the podcast.

Grab your copy of Sisterhood Heals.

Stay Connected​

Is there a topic you'd like covered on the podcast? Submit it at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox.

If you're looking for a therapist in your area, check out the directory at https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/directory.

Grab your copy of our guided affirmation and other TBG Merch at therapyforblackgirls.com/shop.

The hashtag for the podcast is #TBGinSession.

Make sure to follow us on social media:

Instagram: @therapyforblackgirls

Facebook: @therapyforblackgirls

Our Production Team

Executive Producers: Dennison Bradford & Gabrielle Collins

Director of Podcast & Digital Content: Ellice Ellis

Producers: Tyree Rush & Ndeye Thioubou

Production Assistant: Bria Mosley

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In this episode of Just Heal, Dr. Jay Barnett sits down with actor and martial artist Michael Jai White for a powerful conversation about healing, masculinity, and emotional growth in the Black community. Michael reflects on his life journey, the influence of mentorship, and how trauma and anger can shape behavior if left unaddressed. Together, they explore the balance between strength and vulnerability in men, emphasizing the importance of emotional awareness, presence in family life, and breaking cycles of learned violence.

The conversation also dives into relationships, emotional leadership, and communication, highlighting the challenges men face in expressing themselves and the importance of listening, forgiveness, and accountability. Michael shares personal insights that influenced his creative work, including themes reflected in his film The Secret Between Us, which centers on love, family, and healing. Through honest dialogue, the episode underscores the power of emotional regulation, understanding, and intentional growth in building stronger relationships and healthier communities.

Rate, subscribe, comment and share.

Follow Just Heal on IG:

@kingjaybarnett

@officialmichaeljai

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Chrystal Renee welcomes KevOnStage to talk about how humor helps him tell the truth and cope in real life, especially through his one-man show “Grief Sucks,” inspired by losing his brother. He explains that comedy can help people hear hard things, “People can listen, are more open to listening if you’ve made them laugh”—and admits jokes are part of how he processes grief, even when it’s messy and too soon. Kev also gets real about boundaries and burnout (why he stopped meet-and-greets), parenting two very different sons, and what he’s learned in 22 years of marriage—like how you can “do hurt and harm with good intention,” and how marriage requires staying updated, “like being up to date on your cell phone.” Biggest takeaway: growth is ongoing, and Kev is choosing to be “unapologetically me,” even if everyone won’t like it.

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In this deeply personal roundtable episode of Sacred Lessons, host Mike de la Rocha sits with four men from the DENA Heals Men’s Circle for an unfiltered conversation about sex, consent, and the conversations many of us never had growing up. Together, they reflect on coming of age without guidance from fathers or caregivers around intimacy, respect, and responsibility, and how that silence shaped their understanding of masculinity. Through vulnerability and brotherhood, they speak honestly about the messages they learned, the harm those messages can carry, and what becomes possible when men gather to tell the truth and heal generational patterns so the next generation of boys can grow up with a different understanding of manhood.

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Exhausted and resentful but can't figure out why? It might be your people-pleasing. In Episode 49, we get real about how constantly saying yes to everyone and no to yourself is draining you dry. We break down why people-pleasing is a fear response, how it quietly breeds resentment, and what it takes to finally start choosing yourself without guilt. This one will shift how you see yourself.

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Most people believe success will fix how they feel, that more money, recognition, or progress will eventually lead to fulfillment. But for many, it doesn’t.

In this episode of You vs You, Rene Mcleen breaks down the gap between external achievement and internal clarity. We explore what happens when you reach levels you once worked toward and still find yourself questioning your identity, direction, and sense of purpose. This conversation focuses on the psychological side of growth, the pressure that comes with evolving, the role of self-worth in decision making, and the difference between building from alignment versus proving something to the world. At a certain point, growth stops being about doing more and becomes about understanding yourself at a deeper level.

Topics Covered Include:

+ Why Success Does Not Guarantee Fulfillment
+ The Difference Between External Validation and Internal Stability
+ Navigating Identity as You Grow
+ Learning to Move Without the Need to Prove Anything

Follow You vs You for more conversations around mindset, discipline, and personal development.

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You want to have the answers. You want to be solid. You want to be the one people can rely on. But here’s the question most men don’t ask themselves: What is it costing you to always be right?

In this solo episode, Kier unpacks the hidden price of certainty and why the need to always have the answer can quietly damage your relationships, your growth, and your self-awareness. Using a real conversation with his wife about money, he walks through how quickly defensiveness can take over when your identity feels challenged and how that moment right there is where most men lose the opportunity to grow.

Kier breaks down why curiosity feels so uncomfortable, especially for Black men who were raised to equate confidence with safety and uncertainty with risk. From being taught to “look strong” as boys to navigating spaces where being wrong can feel dangerous, this episode gets to the root of why so many men struggle to ask questions instead of proving points.

Because the truth is when you always need to be right, people stop being real with you. Conversations turn into debates. Intimacy fades. And over time, people don’t get closer… they just get quieter.

This episode challenges you to rethink what strength actually looks like. Not as having all the answers but as being willing to sit in discomfort long enough to understand something new.

In this episode:

• Why defensiveness shuts down connection faster than you think
• How the need to be right can cost you intimacy, trust, and respect
• The link between masculinity, control, and fear of uncertainty
• Why criticism often holds the key to your blind spots (Johari Window)
• How curiosity can shift your relationships, leadership, and self-awareness
• The difference between proving a point and actually growing

Key Quote: “Certainty is armor. Curiosity requires you to take it off.”

If you’ve ever felt the urge to defend yourself before you fully understand what’s being said this episode will challenge you to slow down, ask better questions, and choose growth over ego.

The Challenge: The 7-Day Curiosity Shift
Pick one area of your life home, work, friendships, or your relationship and for 7 days:

• Ask more questions than you make statements
• Wait 60 seconds before responding when you feel triggered
• Notice what changes in your conversations and connections

Connect With Us
🌐 Website: www.learnedthehardwaypod.com
🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: Drop Kier a message directly on the site
📧 Email: learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com
📱 Follow the Show: @learnedthehardwaypod

👤 Follow Kier: @kiergaines

Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs it.

Produced & Edited by Idea to Launch Productions

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