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Couverture de The Ethical Slut

The Ethical Slut

De : Janet W. Hardy,Dossie Easton
Lu par : Janet W. Hardy,Dossie Easton
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    Description

    For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle - from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.

    ©1994 Celestial Arts (P)2012 Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

    Commentaires

    "I couldn't stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives...a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends." (Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One)

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    Moyenne des évaluations utilisateurs. Seuls les utilisateurs ayant écouté le titre peuvent laisser une évaluation.
    Global
    • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    Interprétation
    • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    Histoire
    • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    Commentaires - Veuillez sélectionner les onglets ci-dessous pour changer la provenance des commentaires.

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    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
    • Histoire
      5 out of 5 stars

    2nd Edition only

    Too bad this is just the second edition. Janet and Dossie have edited (a lot) and completed a third edition since, but nevertheless, this is one of the most important essay I ever read about love and freedom. Invaluable.

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    1 personne a trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars

    Life changing

    I am so happy to have read this book. it changed all my perceptions on love and sex. I understood so much things about myself. Thank you deeply xx

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    1 personne a trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars

    A guide without rules

    This book was an affirmation of questions I've had, that we aren't alone to think them.

    And full of guidance yet not rules. It was written in such a conscious way not to judge and leave enough space for the person to make decisions that fit them knowing that most situations are very personal and subjective.

    I'd totally recommend it to anyone who is curious about the topic or practicing it.

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    • Global
      3 out of 5 stars

    Interesting perspective; reads like a manifesto

    A useful perspective on non-monogamy, but at times it feels too simplistic and unrealistic to me. Personally I've preferred the Savage Lovecast for perspectives on this subject.

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    • Global
      4 out of 5 stars
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      2 out of 5 stars
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      4 out of 5 stars
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    • Troy
    • 28/07/2015

    The information and advice is 100% totally solid!

    Where does The Ethical Slut rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    The open mindedness, sex positive approach, and enthusiasm was enjoyable.

    What did you like best about this story?

    Good solid read, with enough examples to use in everyday life.

    What didn’t you like about Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton ’s performance?

    Having a younger, more modern adaption would have enhanced my experience. Their performance was good, my extreme reaction was more toward the grandma-like reading from Hardy and Easton - describing hardcore sex acts in detail to 20 and 30 something’s leaves a little bit to be desired.

    If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

    Hire a much younger staff and make it relevant to our modern time.

    Any additional comments?

    I don’t want anyone to misinterpret this review, this book is great! – all the information herein is solid, well delivered, and 100% on point. I have been in a relationship for 8 years where my wife and I love to take women home for 3 way sex, bondage and discipline, top/bottom sex – or whatever you want to call it. This book is specifically geared to relationships like these. Some of the ladies we hook up with end up staying around for a while because it just works - some don’t. This book is very good at looking at the dynamic of relationships like these and also very good at offering advice for this type of situation.My critique lies in the delivery, and approach. No offense to the authors who also speak the audio commentary (read the book to you), but the experience is like having my hippy grandmother tell me very detailed stories about how her and all her old friends used to get it on back in the day. A lot of the material doesn’t translate well to someone who is, say in their 20’s or 30’s; it just doesn’t – I feel our generation is way more open than those of the past. So even though, all the information in the book is absolutely great advise for a kinky relationship or a vanilla relationship. They push good, open values that stress on the importance of communication, it's just weird having it told to you by an older person. So I would suggest this book to everybody – just be ready to have it read to you by a nice old woman who loves to use terms like cunt, cock, & ass fucking.

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    69 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • CrashingGirl
    • 01/03/2018

    Great for all but really great for beginners.

    This was the sixth book I’ve read on this subject as I attempt to move from monogamy to a open relationship. The idea was completely scary and foreign to me however this is one of my favorite books that really gave me some relevant information and tips on how to manage through this transition. I feel I’m well on my way to understanding where I sit in on different relationship styles. I highly recommend this book for anyone considering or currently in this lifestyle. I may return to monogamy eventually however I feel this book helps me get a good understanding of my other options leaving me feeling non-judge and free to make a choice regardless of what that is. The authors are very kind and gentle however direct in the information provided

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    32 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      2 out of 5 stars
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      2 out of 5 stars
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      2 out of 5 stars
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    • Quinton Mccorquodale
    • 24/01/2018

    A Practical Guide that is wholly impractical.

    What disappointed you about The Ethical Slut?

    It lacked depth, citing itself to be a practical guide to polyamory for everyone. Telling the reader to write a journal in felt marker, buy sexy feeling underwear and recite mantras of self-worth felt less like a guide based of facts and more of a subjective set of recommendations from a couple. It glosses over some major pitfalls that I have personally seen in polyamorous relationships with recommendations that consist almost solely of "talk it out". It takes a scenario for a specific type of couple, in a specific dynamic and applies it elsewhere.

    What was most disappointing about Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton ’s story?

    It defined sex as a ubiquitous thing (equitable with being turned on) towards the start of the book. Later, it narrowed good sex to being a spiritual oneness with another akin to a state of nirvana. Those of us not looking to achieve transcendence when being fellated by an acquaintance don't need to be told to strive for enlightenment. Sex can be a powerful bonding experience between intimates. It can be a meaningless release between strangers. Neither is invalid.

    What didn’t you like about Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton ’s performance?

    It felt juvenile. Maybe it's the writing style, but there was this tittering tone to it that lost its appeal well within the first chapters. Maybe I'm being unreasonable, but I like my practical guides to be practical. You know, no-nonsense. I don't need an eighteen minute story about a woman finding love amidst a fisting at an orgy.

    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Wrath.

    Any additional comments?

    If the concept is completely foreign to you, if the book is free, then go for it. Cannibalize the useful information from the chapters that apply to you and discard the rest. I assure you when I say you'll have missed nothing.

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    31 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      3 out of 5 stars
    • Interprétation
      3 out of 5 stars
    • Histoire
      1 out of 5 stars
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    • Angie Holubowich
    • 19/04/2016

    Like a "Choose your own Adventure" book about sex.

    Would you try another book from Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton and/or Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton ?

    No, I do not think their viewpoints and spectrum of knowledge are helpful to me.

    Would you ever listen to anything by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton again?

    No

    Which scene was your favorite?

    The chapter on sex parties and group sex were the most useful.

    Was The Ethical Slut worth the listening time?

    At a mere 10 hours, you would think it would have been easier to handle. But I found this book to be a trudge through monotone voices and delusional sexual utopia.

    Any additional comments?

    I really looked forward to this book. All the reviews and feedback from friends and colleagues, I expected a revelation and what I got instead was a book that was constantly telling me to refer to another chapter for more information. (A little hard to do when you are listening to an audio book.)

    The authors speak a lot about their own personal lives and their existence within a sexual utopia where there is no jealousy and everything seems to fit like a glove. It is a hard lesson to simply tell someone, "You're feeling jealous? Well don't."

    If it was that easy I would simply choose not to feel that and save myself the credit for "The Two Towers" by Tolkien. At least that will not be constantly sending me back on an adventure on page 69 to find out more.

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    31 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      2 out of 5 stars
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      2 out of 5 stars
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      1 out of 5 stars
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    • Priscilla
    • 14/05/2018

    Not for me.

    Way to much hippie free love and it comes off condescending. There was little in the way of practical advice and although it mentions "many types of polyamory" this book seems to solely focus on those who want to live in what they call constellations - many long term relationships. There is no Male perspective at all. Overall I found this book not useful and feels really outdated.

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    17 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • Sarah Clarner
    • 06/04/2020

    I loved this book!

    I was raised to be a monogamous minister's daughter and really appreciate the open minded and broad horizons they laid out in this book. Normalizing the freedom to love and have healthy relationships outside of the past limits was a much needed thing for me. The speaker was calm and gentle. It made it a very easy listen for me. I have already referred many people to this book.

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    16 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      1 out of 5 stars
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      2 out of 5 stars
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      1 out of 5 stars
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    • LD
    • 10/07/2018

    Conceited and reads like a cult manual

    Read "Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory and Optimistic Open Relationships" instead.

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    15 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      3 out of 5 stars
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      2 out of 5 stars
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      3 out of 5 stars
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    • Amazon Customer
    • 19/10/2016

    fairly decent

    the information was fairly decent, the reader a little bit boring for my taste. Listening to this book was almost like listening to some Christian book, except with a complete opposite point of view. Where Christianity tells you any kind of sex before marriage is a terrible idea, this book makes it sound like any kind of rules in regards to monogamy, or heterosexuality are the worst ever. In my opinion either extreme is narrow-minded and above all, untrue.

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    14 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      4 out of 5 stars
    • Interprétation
      4 out of 5 stars
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      4 out of 5 stars
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    • Chris
    • 16/07/2013

    Well written, dense book

    "The Ethical Slut" is an excellent, well written book to learn about different relationship types outside of monogamy while also respecting monogamy.

    If you are looking at this book, you are probably curious about the many topics of relationships. You will find a lot of good tips in this book whether monogamous or considering open, polyamory, or more. This book can actually help enforce a lot of positive communication techniques for yourself and your partner(s). At its center, the book is all about honesty and trust which is the building blocks of every relationship.

    The book is also extends the idea of what sex really is. If you think you know, listen to the first half of this book and see if you still define it the same way.

    The authors read the book and they do an earnest job. The fact that they switch between the authors to accent parts is nice. Also it helps that they both practice what they are explaining so can provide personal experiences, emotions, and really relate the content.

    The book gets a few down sides that keeps it from a 5 star.

    The book feels it is geared largely to women and couples even though they try to cover all sexualities and relationship types. Single men can get quite a lot but some examples or exercises are difficult to relate to.

    Also the second half of the book drags a little and the dual voice use takes a little bit of a hit that kept it moving so well the first half.

    Finally, it can almost be an overload of information. You might need a few listens to get the full use of the book.

    Overall, for anyone who ever "what ifed" or want to consider a different type of relationship in an open and honest way, this well written and dense book is for you!

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    13 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      3 out of 5 stars
    • Interprétation
      3 out of 5 stars
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      4 out of 5 stars
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    • jon
    • 20/08/2013

    A book about sexuality needs a sexy narrator

    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    The book was interesting, but a bit repetitive. I seemed to plow the same ground (no pun intended) over and over again.

    What aspect of Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton ’s performance would you have changed?

    Very few authors are gifted narrators. These authors are now elderly women, whose voices sound like they belong to old women in Florida or Arizona retirement communities talking about golf. If you are narrating a book about sex, a voice that matches the topic is necessary. I was kind of annoyed by a grandmotherly voice talking about swinging and multiple sex partners.

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    12 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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      5 out of 5 stars
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      4 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • Leon
    • 10/06/2018

    Klasse

    Viel guter Inhalt und tips, nicht nur zur polygamie sondern auch zu konflijtmanagement, liebe und Kommunikation

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    3 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • Amazon Kunde
    • 16/02/2019

    Fand das Buch wirklich sehr gut!

    Aufschlüssiges und hirlreiches Buch, was sich nicht nur auf das Poly Thema bezieht, sondern auch auf den Wachstum der eigenen Person. Nichts wird schlecht geredet, was das Buch sehr positiv macht. Würde es jedem empfehlen der sich mit dem Thema Polyamory gerne auseinandersetzt möchte und ggf. auch Leuten die einfach gerne etwas aufgeschlossener durchs Leben gehen wollen.

    Wünsche, wer auch immer das liest, einen wunderschönen Tag :)

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    2 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • Luna
    • 29/07/2018

    Tolles Hörbuch, eine Offenbarung!

    Für alle die sich inspirieren lassen wollen für eine neue Sicht auf Beziehungen in ihrem Leben.

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    2 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • pimawa
    • 09/02/2017

    Ein Muss für jeden, der Spaß an Liebe und Sex hat

    Die Autoren vermitteln praktische Tipps und ethische Richtlinien für jegliche Art von Beziehungen. Sie vermitteln ihren Traum von einer Welt, in der jeder seiner Liebe und seiner Sexualität Ausdruck verleihen darf. Eines der besten Bücher, die ich bisher gelesen habe.

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    2 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      4 out of 5 stars
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      4 out of 5 stars
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    • E7EVEN
    • 05/05/2016

    more than just...

    ok Ive expected the book to defend polygamy and a just that in all posdible ways and well it does, but in a respectable way. there is much weight put on the ethical part of that lifestyle and thats what makes this book so good.

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    2 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • Tim H.
    • 17/03/2018

    great book for polyamory

    great book to get yourself educated on practical polyamory. good examples and in depth knowledge, well structured.

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    1 personne a trouvé cela utile

    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • Tom
    • 25/05/2022

    Best reader ever, incredible book!

    Everything about this book is incredible. The layout, chapters and topics discussed are very interesting and the insights from such expert “sluts” it’s priceless. I think everyone would learn a huge deal from this read regardless if they’re in a monogamous or other kinda of relationships!

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    • Global
      3 out of 5 stars
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      4 out of 5 stars
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      3 out of 5 stars
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    • Utilisateur anonyme
    • 07/02/2022

    They speak their own case well

    The books defends free sexuality and relationships interestingly well, but downplays or forgets monogamy's positive sides - and not seeing your opposition's besy arguments makes for a one-sided discussion.

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    • Global
      1 out of 5 stars
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      2 out of 5 stars
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      1 out of 5 stars
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    • lpnorm
    • 30/10/2021

    Obnoxious Hipocrites

    The writers seem like spoiled art students that cannot tell the difference between adventurous and abusive.

    They make strawman arguments. They complain about being looked down upon for their sexual lifestyle while they themselves look down on monogamy. They quote absurd statements like

    "fascism and war could not have occured in nazi germany had there been polyarmory instead of sexual repression"

    (losely paraphrasing here)
    It feels like little less than narcissism to me how they try to make it seem as though they would improve the world by f***ing around. They seem to me like people who contribute nothing to society and yet feel extremely important. I cannot understand the positive reviews given here.

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    • Global
      5 out of 5 stars
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      3 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • Meister Eder
    • 09/08/2020

    Ein Muss für alle, die wirklich lieben (wollen)

    In diesem Buch geht es primär (klar) um Polyamorie. Aber diese Lebensform wird nicht als das Non-Plus-Ultra dargestellt, es wird nur versucht, ein bißchen mehr Verständnis und gesellschaftliche Akzeptanz dafür zu bekommen. Für diejenigen, die dies als Lebensform in Betracht ziehen oder es bereits praktzizieren gibt es unzählige Tipps, wie man diese tolle Einstellung am besten umsetzt und wie man aufkommenden Schwierigkeiten begegnet. Man spürt die unglaubliche persönliche, langjährige Lebenserfahrung der beiden Autorinnen.
    Auch für jeden anderen, der das Thema Beziehungen souveräner meistern möchte, egal ob klassische monogame Beziehung, offene Beziehung, polyamore oder sonstige queere, homosexuelle, heterosexuelle Beziehung, bietet dieses Buch sehr hilfreiche Tipps, Übungen und Erkenntnisse.
    Der einzige Nachteil: Die beiden Autorinnen sind derart gechillt, dass es bei der ruhigen und monotonen Sprechweise stellenweise schwierig ist, nicht vertrauensvoll dabei einzuschlafen. Zum abends im Bett hören ist das Buch damit nicht geeignet. Aber der Inhalt macht alle negativen Eindrücke wieder wett.

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