A half-hour- long (plus a bit) Ha'penny Horror 'Hursday minisode IN WHICH —

0:02:15: THE BLACK BAND, Chapter 22:

• IN WHICH:— Ballet dancer Clara Melville, seeing Sir Frederick Beaumorris’s valet arriving with his traveling-things, is plunged into despair. Meanwhile, Sir Frederick is very pleased with himself, and looking forward to the conquest of breaking Clara’s spirit, right after dinner. He is on his way down to the table when who should make an unexpected appearance but Colonel Oscar Bertrand! What is he doing there? And what are Clara’s chances of getting out of this — stuck in a chateau in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country at the mercy of — not one, but TWO such thundering rogues?

0:25:30: TERRIBLE TIDBIT OF THE DAY (from "Dickens' Dreadful Almanac"):

• A little joking horseplay with what they thought was an unloaded antique blunderbuss hanging on the wall turned into a dreadful and fatal accident, 174 years ago today.

0:27:10: CRUEL AND INHUMAN MURDER COMMITTED UPON THE BODY OF CAPT. LAWSON: (street broadside)

• A broadsheet printed up telling the story of a maiden whose fiance, after throwing her over for a richer bride, tried to force her to give him back the letters he'd written her ... and she defended herself with a carving-knife. (The headline on this one is misleading.)

0:22:36: EXCESSIVE PUNISHMENT FOR A TRIFLING EXPRESSION:

• A story of the Bad Old Days of the Thirty Years War, in the late 1640s, when a Catholic gentleman's joke at the expense of Stuart Princess Elizabeth (who had married the king of Bohemia) prompted Parliament to impose an outrageous punishment upon him for daring to make fun of the precious royal family.

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• HABERDASHERS: Smugglers of liquor.

• BITS OF MUSLIN: Pretty girls.
• KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.
• CORINTHIAN: A fancy toff or titled swell. Used here as a reference to Corinthian Tom, the quintessential Regency rake depicted in Pierce Egan's "Life in London" (usually referred to as "Tom and Jerry")
• CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.
• SHERRY OFF: To run away at top speed. Adopted from the nautical term "to sheer off."
• CULLS: Mildly disparaging term for men.
• DOWN TO: Wised-up about, aware of.
• FAKEMENT: Plot or scheme.
• BUMS: Bailiffs.
• CRAPPING COVES: Pronounced "crêpe-ing," it means hangmen, who cause the widows of the criminals they execute to wear crêpe in mourning.
• THE OLD STONE JUG: Newgate Prison, or prisons in general.
• PADDINGTON FAIR: Execution day at Tyburn Tree gallows, which was in Paddington parish.
• DUNWICH, TOWN OF (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea starting in the 13th century; only a few streets and houses remain today.
• DUNWITCH, BARONY OF (spelled with a "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.

• DUNSANY, BARONY OF: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany (Lord Dunsany), one of Mr. Lovecraft's favorite authors and a major influence upon his work.