In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos explore why men chase money—and what they're really seeking beneath the surface.

Nick argues men are chasing self-worth and validation, measuring themselves against others to prove "I'm okay, I'm a real man." Jake adds that economic shifts have stripped away traditional pathways: only 15% of 30-year-olds own homes today (down from 50% in 1960), women graduate college at twice the rate of men, and younger generations face stagnating wages. Many men feel their masculinity and purpose eroding.

The hosts examine the toll: never being present, missing relationships, playing an endless game with no finish line. Nick quotes Pink Floyd—"dig that hole, forget the sun"—as the perfect metaphor for this exhausting chase.

Their solution? Ask better questions. Help men define what matters on their own terms, not what they've been told should matter.

🔑 Topics Covered

• What men are actually chasing: self-worth, validation, worthiness
• How economic shifts impact men's identity and sense of purpose
• The cost of chasing external validation: disconnection and exhaustion
• Why asking questions beats prescribing solutions

💡 Reflective Prompt
What are you actually chasing when you pursue financial success? Is it on your terms—or someone else's game?

📍 Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com
• Novel "The Men's Group: A Novel of Messy Friendships" (June 9, 2026)

💼 Connect: Jake Fishbein & Nick Papadopoulos on LinkedIn

With Love, Jake & Nick

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos tackle one of the most avoided topics in men's work: sexuality and physical intimacy. Opening with a striking story from a joint men's and women's group session where men were paralyzed by fear while women spoke explicitly and comfortably about sex, they explore why this topic remains so taboo—even in spaces designed for vulnerable conversation.

Nick shares how religious shame, non-affectionate parents, and childhood sexual abuse distorted his relationship with intimacy for decades. Jake opens up about growing up in the internet age, his father's warnings, and how chat rooms became his secretive, shame-filled introduction to sexuality—eventually getting caught with all his conversations saved on AOL for his parents to read.

The hosts examine how shame creates profound disconnection in relationships, with men hiding everything from porn addiction to their honest desires from their partners. They turn the mirror on themselves as facilitators, asking why they avoid addressing sex in men's groups when they tackle every other area of life. Jake shares how Nick's transformative homework assignment—"go get laid in two weeks"—helped him redefine his entire relationship with sexuality.

The conversation deepens as they explore sex as the ultimate vulnerability of being truly seen, and offer practical invitations for normalizing these crucial conversations and letting go of sexual shame.

🔑 Topics Covered

• Why women spoke explicitly about sex while men froze in fear at a joint group session
• Early messages that shaped sexuality: religious shame, parental formality, and internet-age secrecy
• How shame creates disconnection and secrecy in committed relationships
• Why sex is the one topic consistently avoided in men's groups—even by facilitators
• Jake's transformative "go get laid in two weeks" homework assignment
• The vulnerability paradox: Sex as being ultimately seen and connected to creation
• Practical steps for normalizing sex conversations and letting go of shame

💡 Reflective Prompt

What shame are you still carrying around sex and intimacy? What would it take for you to normalize conversations about your sexuality—first with yourself, then with your partner, and potentially with trusted friends?

📍 Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com
• Their novel "The Men's Group: A Novel of Messy Friendships" (coming late June 2026)

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

• Jake Fishbein
• Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos tackle one of today's most contentious questions: Is masculinity a prison? Inspired by a recent debate they attended at Comedy Cellar in New York's West Village, they dive deep into what masculinity actually means and whether it constrains or empowers modern men.

The conversation begins with a fundamental challenge: defining masculinity itself. Nick reveals how masculinity has been constructed around specific behaviors—strength, assertiveness, dominance, competition—while acknowledging that all humans have access to both masculine and feminine energies. He shares a powerful story about his son being called out at a progressive Manhattan school for displaying natural boyish energy, contrasting it with boys' schools that actually honor and channel masculine traits rather than suppress them.

Jake explores the controversial term "toxic masculinity," arguing that while certain behaviors are harmful, the phrase has unfortunately made many men feel attacked for simply being male. He draws parallels to how labeling creates separation instead of understanding, preventing the empathy needed for genuine connection and growth.

Nick opens up about the rigid "rules of manhood" he inherited as the firstborn son of Greek immigrants—boys don't cry, don't show emotion, be strong for everyone else. His raw account of being unable to mourn his father's death in his twenties, and the transformative workshop experience that finally allowed him to grieve, illustrates how these scripts can become emotional prisons.

The hosts examine whether men have had their own version of the feminist revolution. While acknowledging significant shifts—more stay-at-home dads, growing men's work movements, increased emotional intelligence—they note that men lack the unified direction that characterized women's liberation, leaving many seeking guidance from figures across the spectrum.

Jake delivers a fascinating revelation about testosterone, debunking the myth that it directly causes aggression. Citing research from Dr. Robert Sapolsky, he explains that testosterone is actually a "status hormone" that amplifies whatever behaviors a society values for maintaining status—meaning men could just as easily compete to perform acts of kindness if that's what earned respect.

🔑 Topics Covered

• Defining masculinity beyond social constructs and rigid behavioral expectations
• The "toxic masculinity" debate: Why the term creates defensiveness and what it actually means
• Nick's immigrant family script: "Boys don't cry" and the cost of emotional suppression
• The workshop breakthrough: How one exercise shattered decades of emotional armor
• Comparing men's evolution to the feminist movement: Progress without revolution
• The leadership vacuum: Why men crave direction but lack unified guidance
• Testosterone truth: How the "aggression hormone" actually works as a status amplifier
• The integration solution: Honoring both masculine and feminine energies in wholeness

💡 Reflective Prompt What "rules of manhood" did you inherit that no longer serve you? If you could rewrite your script as a man today, what would you change about how you show up in the world?

📍 Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

• Jake Fishbein
• Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick