In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos explore why men chase money—and what they're really seeking beneath the surface.

Nick argues men are chasing self-worth and validation, measuring themselves against others to prove "I'm okay, I'm a real man." Jake adds that economic shifts have stripped away traditional pathways: only 15% of 30-year-olds own homes today (down from 50% in 1960), women graduate college at twice the rate of men, and younger generations face stagnating wages. Many men feel their masculinity and purpose eroding.

The hosts examine the toll: never being present, missing relationships, playing an endless game with no finish line. Nick quotes Pink Floyd—"dig that hole, forget the sun"—as the perfect metaphor for this exhausting chase.

Their solution? Ask better questions. Help men define what matters on their own terms, not what they've been told should matter.

🔑 Topics Covered

• What men are actually chasing: self-worth, validation, worthiness
• How economic shifts impact men's identity and sense of purpose
• The cost of chasing external validation: disconnection and exhaustion
• Why asking questions beats prescribing solutions

💡 Reflective Prompt
What are you actually chasing when you pursue financial success? Is it on your terms—or someone else's game?

📍 Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com
• Novel "The Men's Group: A Novel of Messy Friendships" (June 9, 2026)

💼 Connect: Jake Fishbein & Nick Papadopoulos on LinkedIn

With Love, Jake & Nick

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos tackle one of the most avoided topics in men's work: sexuality and physical intimacy. Opening with a striking story from a joint men's and women's group session where men were paralyzed by fear while women spoke explicitly and comfortably about sex, they explore why this topic remains so taboo—even in spaces designed for vulnerable conversation.

Nick shares how religious shame, non-affectionate parents, and childhood sexual abuse distorted his relationship with intimacy for decades. Jake opens up about growing up in the internet age, his father's warnings, and how chat rooms became his secretive, shame-filled introduction to sexuality—eventually getting caught with all his conversations saved on AOL for his parents to read.

The hosts examine how shame creates profound disconnection in relationships, with men hiding everything from porn addiction to their honest desires from their partners. They turn the mirror on themselves as facilitators, asking why they avoid addressing sex in men's groups when they tackle every other area of life. Jake shares how Nick's transformative homework assignment—"go get laid in two weeks"—helped him redefine his entire relationship with sexuality.

The conversation deepens as they explore sex as the ultimate vulnerability of being truly seen, and offer practical invitations for normalizing these crucial conversations and letting go of sexual shame.

🔑 Topics Covered

• Why women spoke explicitly about sex while men froze in fear at a joint group session
• Early messages that shaped sexuality: religious shame, parental formality, and internet-age secrecy
• How shame creates disconnection and secrecy in committed relationships
• Why sex is the one topic consistently avoided in men's groups—even by facilitators
• Jake's transformative "go get laid in two weeks" homework assignment
• The vulnerability paradox: Sex as being ultimately seen and connected to creation
• Practical steps for normalizing sex conversations and letting go of shame

💡 Reflective Prompt

What shame are you still carrying around sex and intimacy? What would it take for you to normalize conversations about your sexuality—first with yourself, then with your partner, and potentially with trusted friends?

📍 Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com
• Their novel "The Men's Group: A Novel of Messy Friendships" (coming late June 2026)

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

• Jake Fishbein
• Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos tackle one of today's most contentious questions: Is masculinity a prison? Inspired by a recent debate they attended at Comedy Cellar in New York's West Village, they dive deep into what masculinity actually means and whether it constrains or empowers modern men.

The conversation begins with a fundamental challenge: defining masculinity itself. Nick reveals how masculinity has been constructed around specific behaviors—strength, assertiveness, dominance, competition—while acknowledging that all humans have access to both masculine and feminine energies. He shares a powerful story about his son being called out at a progressive Manhattan school for displaying natural boyish energy, contrasting it with boys' schools that actually honor and channel masculine traits rather than suppress them.

Jake explores the controversial term "toxic masculinity," arguing that while certain behaviors are harmful, the phrase has unfortunately made many men feel attacked for simply being male. He draws parallels to how labeling creates separation instead of understanding, preventing the empathy needed for genuine connection and growth.

Nick opens up about the rigid "rules of manhood" he inherited as the firstborn son of Greek immigrants—boys don't cry, don't show emotion, be strong for everyone else. His raw account of being unable to mourn his father's death in his twenties, and the transformative workshop experience that finally allowed him to grieve, illustrates how these scripts can become emotional prisons.

The hosts examine whether men have had their own version of the feminist revolution. While acknowledging significant shifts—more stay-at-home dads, growing men's work movements, increased emotional intelligence—they note that men lack the unified direction that characterized women's liberation, leaving many seeking guidance from figures across the spectrum.

Jake delivers a fascinating revelation about testosterone, debunking the myth that it directly causes aggression. Citing research from Dr. Robert Sapolsky, he explains that testosterone is actually a "status hormone" that amplifies whatever behaviors a society values for maintaining status—meaning men could just as easily compete to perform acts of kindness if that's what earned respect.

🔑 Topics Covered

• Defining masculinity beyond social constructs and rigid behavioral expectations
• The "toxic masculinity" debate: Why the term creates defensiveness and what it actually means
• Nick's immigrant family script: "Boys don't cry" and the cost of emotional suppression
• The workshop breakthrough: How one exercise shattered decades of emotional armor
• Comparing men's evolution to the feminist movement: Progress without revolution
• The leadership vacuum: Why men crave direction but lack unified guidance
• Testosterone truth: How the "aggression hormone" actually works as a status amplifier
• The integration solution: Honoring both masculine and feminine energies in wholeness

💡 Reflective Prompt What "rules of manhood" did you inherit that no longer serve you? If you could rewrite your script as a man today, what would you change about how you show up in the world?

📍 Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

• Jake Fishbein
• Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos tackle one of the most fundamental yet avoided aspects of masculinity: why men struggle to ask for help and express genuine gratitude.

From the age-old joke about men refusing to ask for directions to today's digital age equivalent of wandering grocery store aisles rather than asking staff for help, this pattern runs deep in the male psyche. Jake candidly shares his recent experience avoiding lawyers while trying to create contractor agreements, preferring to spend 25 hours wrestling with AI rather than risk looking "stupid" or "incompetent" to a professional.

Nick opens up about a challenging conversation with his partner Anissa that transformed when he made a simple phone call to say "thank you"—and how that moment of gratitude created a profound shift in both his heart and their relationship. His vulnerability reveals how expressing appreciation became a completely different way of protecting and providing for someone he loves.

The conversation explores why men have been conditioned to believe that doing things alone makes them smart and capable, while asking for support somehow diminishes their worth. They examine how this isolation creates a vicious cycle: when men don't include others, they're actually training people not to support them, reinforcing the very loneliness they're trying to avoid.

From mental health struggles to relationship challenges, Jake and Nick reveal how the fear of appearing weak keeps men trapped in their heads instead of connecting through their hearts. They discuss the profound difference between "presence" and "performance"—how women and partners crave authentic connection over endless doing and providing.

The hosts share powerful insights about how asking for help and saying thank you aren't signs of weakness, but pathways to genuine strength, deeper relationships, and psychological safety that goes far beyond physical protection.

🔑 Topics Covered

• The evolution from "won't ask for directions" to modern avoidance patterns in daily life
• Jake's contractor agreement story: How fear of looking incompetent keeps men isolated
• The training cycle: How not asking for help teaches others we don't need support
• Nick's gratitude breakthrough: How one "thank you" transformed a relationship dynamic
• The performance trap: Why men think providing means constantly doing rather than being present
• Heart vs. head connection: Moving from ego-driven independence to vulnerable authenticity
• Presence over performance: What partners actually crave from the men in their lives
• The health benefits: How asking for help reduces pressure and increases resilience

💡 Reflective Prompt What are you currently trying to handle alone that would benefit from support? When was the last time you called someone just to say "thank you" for being in your life, and what might change if you did that today?

📍 Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

• Jake Fishbein
• Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos tackle one of the most pervasive yet unspoken challenges in modern masculinity: the dangerous entanglement of self-worth and career identity.

Through raw vulnerability and unflinching honesty, Nick reveals his own journey of career addiction—how titles, responsibilities, and external validation became the sole source of his identity until a cancer diagnosis in 2021 forced a complete reckoning. He shares the painful moments of feeling invisible at social gatherings when conversations weren't centered on his work, and how he would desperately steer discussions back to his expertise just to feel valuable again.

Jake explores the external dangers of tying identity to career, sharing a powerful story of a female client who gave 15 years to a tech company only to have her managerial role stripped away in a corporate reorganization—leaving her feeling betrayed and worthless despite her dedication. Together, they examine how men specifically fall into the trap of measuring their worth through promotions, paychecks, and professional achievements.

The conversation takes a profound turn as Nick describes his transformation during cancer treatment—how being physically unable to work revealed the depth of his career addiction, and how "Nick-sitting" sessions with his men's group showed him where his true value lay: in his relationships and community. Jake shares his own "Who Am I" list—a coffee-stained piece of paper that grounds his identity in character traits rather than professional accomplishments.

From the societal scripts handed to men about being providers and achievers, to the soul-crushing conformity that comes with never questioning these expectations, the hosts reveal how career obsession leads to constant disappointment, health issues, and ultimately contributes to the alarming statistics around men's mental health and suicide rates.

🔑 Topics Covered

• The career addiction epidemic: How titles and validation become identity
• Nick's cancer wake-up call: When illness stripped away professional identity
• The invisibility factor: Feeling worthless in non-work social situations
• External validation trap: Why there's never enough professional recognition
• The "Who Am I" exercise: Building identity beyond career achievements
• Societal scripts: The dangerous masculine blueprint of provider/achiever
• The conformity cost: How following scripts crushes the soul
• Health consequences: The link between career obsession and men's declining wellness

💡 Reflective Prompt
What would happen if your job title, salary, and professional achievements were stripped away tomorrow? Who would you be? What would define your worth? Consider asking three people who know you well: "Who am I to you—and don't mention my career."

📍Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com
• Create your own "Who Am I" list focusing on character traits and values
• Men's suicide prevention resources: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

• Jake Fishbein
• Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos tackle one of the most avoided topics in men's conversations: pornography and its profound impact on intimacy and relationships.

With 91.5% of men aged 18-73 reporting porn consumption in the past month, this isn't a fringe issue—it's affecting nearly every man and their relationships. Nick courageously shares his traumatic first encounter with pornography at age 10, revealing how it was used as a tool of manipulation by a predator, and how his family's shame-filled reaction pushed him deeper into dangerous territory. His raw vulnerability illustrates the complex web of trauma, shame, and unhealthy patterns that can shape a man's relationship with sexuality and intimacy.

Jake explores why men rarely discuss porn or sex authentically in group settings, despite it being such a prevalent part of their lives. Together, they examine how shame, fear of vulnerability, and cultural conditioning keep these crucial conversations locked in darkness—and the devastating cost of that silence.

From financial ruin to relationship destruction, the hosts reveal how porn addiction affects real lives, including a powerful story of a man watching porn upstairs while his family gathered below—a metaphor for the isolation and disconnection that secrets create. They discuss how feelings of unworthiness drive men to retreat into fantasy rather than risk authentic requests or vulnerability with real partners.

The conversation extends to our digital age, where AI relationships and virtual interactions offer even more ways to avoid the messy, challenging, but ultimately rewarding work of real human connection.

🔑 Topics Covered

• The staggering statistics: Why 91.5% of men consume porn and what it means for relationships
• Nick's origin story: Childhood trauma, manipulation, and the birth of shame around sexuality
• The silence epidemic: Why men avoid authentic conversations about sex and intimacy
• The worthiness factor: How feelings of inadequacy drive men to fantasy instead of real connection
• The hidden costs: Financial ruin, relationship destruction, and emotional isolation
• Modern challenges: AI relationships and the increasing avoidance of human vulnerability
• Breaking the cycle: How bringing shame into the light begins the healing process

💡 Reflective Prompt
What aspects of your sexuality or relationship to intimacy are you keeping in the darkness? What conversations are you avoiding that might actually bring you closer to the connections you desire?

📍Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

• Jake Fishbein
• Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos explore a fundamental question: Are you living in the arena or watching from the stands?

Drawing inspiration from Teddy Roosevelt's famous "Man in the Arena" speech, Jake and Nick challenge listeners to step out of the safety of spectating and into the messy, vital experience of being fully alive. Through baseball metaphors, immigrant stories, and raw personal reflections, they examine what it means to show up present, vulnerable, and accountable in your own life.

Expect honest conversations about the pain of avoiding your own arena, the courage required to feel everything, and practical strategies for being present in relationships—even when triggered. This isn't about perfection; it's about the willingness to strike out swinging rather than never stepping up to bat.

🔑 Topics Covered

• The arena vs. the stands: Why spectating your life hurts more than risking failure
• How to show up present and honest in relationships when it matters most
• The immigrant mindset: Lessons in resilience and commitment from Nick's parents
• Why being triggered isn't something to avoid—it's information to work with
• Practical preparation strategies for life's most important interactions
• The difference between outcome and experience: Why aliveness trumps winning

💡 Reflective Prompt Where in your life are you sitting in the stands instead of stepping into the arena?

📍Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

• Jake Fishbein
• Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos dive into a question at the heart of modern masculinity: What gives men their sense of self-worth?

From childhood heartbreaks to the quiet pressures of adulthood, Jake and Nick explore how men lose touch with their intrinsic value—and how they can reclaim it. They share personal stories of early rejections, the cultural myth of the self-sacrificing man, and the long, often painful journey to realizing you matter simply because you exist.

Expect deep reflections, laughter, a powerful reminder that comparison is the thief of joy, and a practical invitation to build your self-worth from the inside out—not from likes, titles, or someone else’s approval.

🔑 Topics Covered

How early relationships shape a man’s sense of worth
The hidden dangers of the “self-sacrificing man” myth
Why real self-worth starts with internal validation
How to reconnect with what genuinely fills you up
The role of community, connection, and being seen
Why you don’t need permission to matter—you already do

💡 Reflective Prompt

What’s one small step you could take today to honor your own worth?

📍Links + Resources

Jake’s website: www.jakefishbein.com
Nick’s website: www.coachnick.com
The Arena Men’s Group: www.arenamensgroup.com

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

Jake Fishbein
Nick Papadopoulos

With Love,
Jake & Nick