Wild Card - Whose Shoes? Podcast | Mike Nicholson: Progressive Masculinity (and why boys do want to talk)

What if the real issue isn’t that boys don’t talk - but that we rarely create spaces where they feel safe enough to?

In this episode, I’m joined by Mike Nicholson, former English teacher and founder of Progressive Masculinity. I first heard Mike speak at an education conference in Wolverhampton organised by Sarah Milne, and his session stayed with me long afterwards - especially the powerful “mask” exercise exploring how young men feel they must appear versus how they really feel.

Drawing on nearly two decades in the classroom, Mike shares what he saw: thoughtful, capable boys quietly limiting themselves to fit narrow expectations of masculinity - and what changed when they were simply given permission to talk.

We explore:

• Why the idea that boys don’t talk is a myth
• The impact of safe, non-judgemental spaces
• Early intervention and “upstream” prevention
• Online rabbit holes and algorithm-driven risks
• Helping boys decide what kind of men they want to become
• A values-led approach to confidence, identity and belonging

There are strong echoes here of my #CYPWhoseShoes work - listening deeply, understanding different perspectives, and recognising that real change is often felt before it can ever be measured.

🎧 If you have boys or young men in your life - as parents, teachers, grandparents or colleagues - this conversation is well worth a listen.

🍋💡🍋 Lemon Lightbulbs from this episode

• Boys don’t avoid talking - they avoid judgement.
• The gap between the “outside mask” and inside feelings is often huge.
• Prevention starts with belonging, not behaviour management.
• Algorithms can take curiosity to harmful places faster than adults realise.
• Listening with young people changes everything.
• Some of the most important outcomes can’t be captured on a spreadsheet.
• If we remove unhealthy spaces, we must create healthier ones.
• Values help young people navigate peer pressure.
• Supporting boys and empowering girls are not opposing goals.
• There isn’t one way to be a man - only the freedom to become yourself.

Links

Progressive Masculinity

Whose Shoes?

Our #CYPWhoseShoes project

#WhoseShoes #WildCardWhoseShoes #CYPWhoseShoes #Belonging #Education #MentalHealth #EarlyIntervention

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

🎙️ This episode was recorded jointly with the So, Who Cares Anyway? podcast, hosted by Ruth Germaine.

In this warm, wide-ranging episode, I’m chatting to fellow podcaster and Darzi alumna Ruth Germaine to explore what it really takes to tackle healthcare’s “wicked problems” through coproduction.

A powerful invitation to think differently.

Drawing on our shared roots in the Darzi Fellowship network, we reflect on why lived experience, curiosity and relationship-building matter far more than tick-boxes and tidy solutions.

I share my journey from social care and local government, through cancer, to creating Whose Shoes?® - a deceptively simple, colourful board-game approach that opens up honest conversations between people, professionals and those in positions of power. Along the way, we explore the power of poetry, the beach-ball metaphor, and why Whose Shoes scenarios are so open-ended – the discussion will be the one YOU need to have.

Our conversation ranges from maternity services in Buckinghamshire to SEND roadshows and a neonatal unit in Liverpool, illustrating how ‘planting seeds’ can lead to outcomes no one could predict at the start.

We also reflect on the challenge of evidencing impact, the limits of KPIs, and a Whose Shoes hallmark: the pledge - small or bold actions, taken from the heart. #NoHierarchyJustPeople

This is an episode about creativity, courage, and the quiet magic that happens when people feel truly heard.

🍋💡 🍋 Lemon Lightbulbs

1. Co-production isn’t a method - it’s a mindset
   If people don’t genuinely feel valued and listened to, no tool will save you.
2. The answers are in the room
   Real change starts with free-flowing conversations, not a prescriptive agenda
3. You can promise something will happen - just not what
   That uncertainty isn’t a flaw; it’s the essence of true co-production
4. People see through tick-box listening instantly
   You can’t fake curiosity or shortcut trust
5. Creativity creates capacity - even when time is tight
   Fun, colour and poetry don’t distract from serious work; they unlock it
6. Ripples to ... IMPACT!
   A conversation can lead — unexpectedly — to things as big as a new neonatal unit
7. Just because it's countable, doesn't mean it's what matters most
   What matters most (trust, insight, confidence, connection) rarely fits a KPI
8. The best change work draws people in
   When it’s real, people text friends: “Get down here — this is different.”
9. Pledges work because they’re personal
   Small actions “from the heart” beat grand strategies
10. Learning happens with people, not to them
    Networks for learning together generally beat programmes and courses

LINKS

So, Who Cares Anyway? Podcast by Ruth Germaine

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.

🎄🎧 A bit of a Christmas cracker (with maverick music included)

A conversation full of humanity.

In this Wild Card – Whose Shoes episode, Gill Phillips chats with Maff Potts, founder of the Camarados movement and creator of Public Living Rooms - simple, welcoming spaces where people can put their feet up, enjoy no-agenda company, and look out for each other.

No labels. No tick boxes. No “fixing”. Just people.

Maff brings stories (and piano!) from his journey: from working in homelessness, to advising government, and very intentionally returning to grassroots connection, where real change happens. Together we explore why kindness, laughter, and belonging aren’t “nice extras” - they’re essential.

🍋💡🍋 Lemon lightbulbs

🍋 “Where would you put the KPI for this?” The case for humanity, music and improvisation over metrics.

🍋 Public Living Rooms = connection + purpose (without needing a “service” or a diagnosis).

🍋 Permission to be a bit rubbish - and why failure/iteration can be a superpower (England vs Silicon Valley!).

🍋 A powerful example of language changing everything: when “Put your feet up” became “It’s time to talk #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek”… footfall dropped from 1000 people to 40.

🍋 The “how” matters: how we welcome, speak, listen, and create environments that help people feel human.

If you’ve ever felt weary of spreadsheets, assessments, and VIP top tables … this episode is for you. #NoHierarchyJustPeople

🫖 Want to start a Public Living Room? Find out more at camarados.org (and you might just receive a beautiful permission-giving box to get you going). #JFDI

Happy Christmas everyone!

Links:

Home - Camerados

“It takes a village”

We LOVE it when you leave a review!
If you enjoy my podcast and find these conversations useful
please share your thoughts by leaving a review (Spotify or Apple are easiest to leave a review - navigate via 3 dots) and comment on your favourite episodes.

Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.