Mati, Jill and Tahj catch up on the ordinary rhythms of life, hosting friends from Toronto in Melbourne, and an unexpected trip to New York for a Jay-Z concert. They then trade candid hot takes on the South African series The Polygamist, considering emotional affairs, secrecy, and what distinguishes polygamy from polyamory. They jump into hot topics: polygamy, traditional stay-at-home roles, splitting household finances 50/50, and therapy language. Join in for a hilarious season 2 finale episode.

Chapters

00:00 The hosts reunite and introduce the show

01:28 A listener’s question: leadership at work and submission at home

04:04 Pits, peaks and plot twists: making room for ordinary life

07:42 The 22-day girls’ night recommendation

08:43 Hosting friends from Toronto in Melbourne

12:44 The joyful exhaustion of family life and hosting

14:49 A last-minute trip to New York for Jay-Z

19:03 Hot takes begin with The Polygamist

20:18 The show’s secret relationships and marriage dynamics

23:34 Emotional affairs versus physical affairs

26:31 Is the real issue polygamy or dishonesty?

28:05 Polygamy: personal boundaries and the appeal of wealth

30:48 When a spouse's expectations change over time

33:13 What does being a traditional wife actually mean?

34:19 The invisible work and stress of running a household

37:03 Would these panelists give up careers to stay home?

42:17 Is splitting bills 50/50 really fair?

45:11 How caregiving affects retirement savings and superannuation

47:28 Therapy language, self-diagnosis, and social media

54:59 Spanking, childhood memories, and alternatives to physical punishment

In this empowering episode of What Left the Group Chat, Mati, Tahj and Jill sit down with long-time friend, anthropologist, author, and community builder Dr. Yadira Perez (Yadi). Moving beyond her Ivy League background, profession and global travels, Yadi opens up about a deeply personal chapter: her divorce and intentional life restructuring.From navigating the cultural differences of dating in Melbourne ("Naarm") after a New York lifestyle, to redefining family structures, co-parenting with grace, and finding peace of mind, Yadi shares a masterclass in resilience, courage, and self-discovery.Key Topics Discussed- Moving with Intention: Why Yadi used principles from The 4-Hour Workweek to intentionally relocate her family from New York to Australia.- Redefining Family Post-Divorce: How Yadi and her ex-husband prioritized their children, kept family traditions like Taco Tuesday alive, and built a model of conscious co-parenting. Yadi explores the concept of feeling safe in reference to nervous system safety (not to be confused with physical safety) the kind of safety that comes from making a hard choice rather than avoiding one. - Dating in Your 40s: The culture shock of dating in Australia, navigating modern dating apps, learning what you truly want, and setting boundaries.- The Metamorphosis: Shifting away from the grief narrative to embrace personal sovereignty, financial independence, and the profound realization that "love can bloom again."- What Gets Better After Divorce: Yadi’s surprising, profound answer about the ultimate luxury of nervous system peace and deep, restorative sleep.Guest Information- Guest: Dr. Yadira Perez- Substack: La Story Shifter (Exploring how stories shape our identities and bridge who we are to what we are becoming).- Website / Ventures: Moss Move - https://mossmove.com (Workshops and community-building initiatives focused on collective storytelling and empowerment)Timestamps & Highlights- 00:24 – Welcoming guest Dr. Yadira Pariz to the group chat- 05:35 – Why Yadi moved from New York to Australia with a 12-month plan- 12:18 – Rapid-fire questions: Financial sovereignty and unlearning old boundaries- 18:37 – The stark cultural differences of dating in Melbourne versus New York- 25:29 – Exploring modern dating apps and discovering personal preferences- 36:49 – Putting the kids first: The story behind their conscious co-parenting approach- 56:06 – Dealing with the "ick" and outside opinions during separation- 01:01:40 – Reframing divorce: Why it's not grief, but a lesson in courage and growth- 01:06:55 – The Big Reveal: What is actually better after divorce?- 01:10:38 – La Story Shifter and Moss Moves

This week, we welcome Akosia, an independent Ghanaian Australian singer-songwriter, actor and multidisciplinary artist based in Melbourne. In 2026 alone her music has featured in seven major international productions, including Love Island and Germany's Next Top Model. Her bedroom-recorded EP Eat the Night has earned coverage from GRM Daily, triple j and NME, and on screen she played Bast in Marvel's Thor: Love and Thunder.Akosia shares about her childhood, growing up in church, going five days a week, the identity crisis that hit when she got to Uni, and losing both of her parents. She explains music carried her in her darkest and refining her craft keeps pushing her every day. She is honest about how hard it is to be a Black woman in the Australian music industry, and about why she had to "go outside" (London, Berlin, France) to get recognised at home.The episode also covers GOAT artist lists, dancehall confessions, the mystery of the Instagram share arrow, and how you can spot the haters 👀. It closes with some of the most practical, no-nonsense career advice we've had on the couch.In this episode* 00:00 – Welcome and guest intro, plus spotting Akosia's face on a Priceline campaign on Chapel Street* 03:40 – Why Akosia "deletes" her achievements the moment she reaches them* 04:29 – From Nigeria to Melbourne: a professor dad and church five times a week* 06:00 – Growing up in a strictly Christian bubble, then having her world collapse at uni* 07:13 – A double degree in electrical engineering and science ("Ghanaian parents…")* 07:51 – Where the music started: sitting on her dad's chest while he played guitar* 09:03 – Her sound, which she calls "the love child of Doechii and Charli XCX," and writing Eat the Night as mantras after leaving an abusive relationship* 11:15 – Life is short, so wear the miniskirt* 12:55 – Falling into acting by accident, and why voiceover pays the bills* 15:28 – How being an independent artist works when projects are funded deal by deal* 17:16 – Being a Black woman artist in Australia, and the "gaslighting" of it all* 19:23 – The crossover theory: how Black music became a monolith* 21:47 – African Australian artists you should know, including Sampa the Great, Elsy Wameyo, Thando and Jerome Farah* 24:21 – Where her confidence comes from: her mum's daily Bible mantras* 25:37 – Do artists have to be influencers now?* 28:33 – GOAT lists: Sade, Kendrick, Amy Winehouse, Doja Cat and Doechii from Akosia, then Black Thought, Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu and Stevie Wonder* 33:40 – The ladies picks: Aretha, Bob Marley, dancehall queens, gospel in the car, and Brandy forever* 40:01 – Family expectations versus what your soul wants* 43:40 – Would she move overseas to chase the dream?* 44:48 – Advice for aspiring artists: your first song isn't as good as you think it is* 47:11 – The dream is to buy a house with music money* 48:48 – Breaking into acting: "your career isn't a door, it's bricks"* 52:39 – Does our community actually show up and support?* 53:41 – Hundreds of shares, hardly any likes: the Love Island post* 55:08 – Treating music like a business, and firing what doesn't work* 58:20 – The J word: how do you know someone's jealous of you?* 01:00:36 – What "Akosia" meansStandout moments* "No matter what I do, someone's gonna be annoyed. So why don't I just impress myself?"* "In a thousand years' time, no one's gonna remember us… Please yourself now."* "Your career is not a door, it's bricks. Everything you do is a brick."* "Time under tension builds muscle. You need to write and write and write."* "It's foolishness to do the same thing expecting a different result."* "I am not for everybody, and that's okay."Mentioned in this episode* Akosia's EP Eat the Night and her single "Speechless," produced by Jerome FarahFollow Akosia and stream Eat the Night wherever you get your music.