Mati, Jill and Tahj catch up on the ordinary rhythms of life, hosting friends from Toronto in Melbourne, and an unexpected trip to New York for a Jay-Z concert. They then trade candid hot takes on the South African series The Polygamist, considering emotional affairs, secrecy, and what distinguishes polygamy from polyamory. They jump into hot topics: polygamy, traditional stay-at-home roles, splitting household finances 50/50, and therapy language. Join in for a hilarious season 2 finale episode.

Chapters

00:00 The hosts reunite and introduce the show

01:28 A listener’s question: leadership at work and submission at home

04:04 Pits, peaks and plot twists: making room for ordinary life

07:42 The 22-day girls’ night recommendation

08:43 Hosting friends from Toronto in Melbourne

12:44 The joyful exhaustion of family life and hosting

14:49 A last-minute trip to New York for Jay-Z

19:03 Hot takes begin with The Polygamist

20:18 The show’s secret relationships and marriage dynamics

23:34 Emotional affairs versus physical affairs

26:31 Is the real issue polygamy or dishonesty?

28:05 Polygamy: personal boundaries and the appeal of wealth

30:48 When a spouse's expectations change over time

33:13 What does being a traditional wife actually mean?

34:19 The invisible work and stress of running a household

37:03 Would these panelists give up careers to stay home?

42:17 Is splitting bills 50/50 really fair?

45:11 How caregiving affects retirement savings and superannuation

47:28 Therapy language, self-diagnosis, and social media

54:59 Spanking, childhood memories, and alternatives to physical punishment

In this empowering episode of What Left the Group Chat, Mati, Tahj and Jill sit down with long-time friend, anthropologist, author, and community builder Dr. Yadira Perez (Yadi). Moving beyond her Ivy League background, profession and global travels, Yadi opens up about a deeply personal chapter: her divorce and intentional life restructuring.From navigating the cultural differences of dating in Melbourne ("Naarm") after a New York lifestyle, to redefining family structures, co-parenting with grace, and finding peace of mind, Yadi shares a masterclass in resilience, courage, and self-discovery.Key Topics Discussed- Moving with Intention: Why Yadi used principles from The 4-Hour Workweek to intentionally relocate her family from New York to Australia.- Redefining Family Post-Divorce: How Yadi and her ex-husband prioritized their children, kept family traditions like Taco Tuesday alive, and built a model of conscious co-parenting. Yadi explores the concept of feeling safe in reference to nervous system safety (not to be confused with physical safety) the kind of safety that comes from making a hard choice rather than avoiding one. - Dating in Your 40s: The culture shock of dating in Australia, navigating modern dating apps, learning what you truly want, and setting boundaries.- The Metamorphosis: Shifting away from the grief narrative to embrace personal sovereignty, financial independence, and the profound realization that "love can bloom again."- What Gets Better After Divorce: Yadi’s surprising, profound answer about the ultimate luxury of nervous system peace and deep, restorative sleep.Guest Information- Guest: Dr. Yadira Perez- Substack: La Story Shifter (Exploring how stories shape our identities and bridge who we are to what we are becoming).- Website / Ventures: Moss Move - https://mossmove.com (Workshops and community-building initiatives focused on collective storytelling and empowerment)Timestamps & Highlights- 00:24 – Welcoming guest Dr. Yadira Pariz to the group chat- 05:35 – Why Yadi moved from New York to Australia with a 12-month plan- 12:18 – Rapid-fire questions: Financial sovereignty and unlearning old boundaries- 18:37 – The stark cultural differences of dating in Melbourne versus New York- 25:29 – Exploring modern dating apps and discovering personal preferences- 36:49 – Putting the kids first: The story behind their conscious co-parenting approach- 56:06 – Dealing with the "ick" and outside opinions during separation- 01:01:40 – Reframing divorce: Why it's not grief, but a lesson in courage and growth- 01:06:55 – The Big Reveal: What is actually better after divorce?- 01:10:38 – La Story Shifter and Moss Moves

This week, we welcome Akosia, an independent Ghanaian Australian singer-songwriter, actor and multidisciplinary artist based in Melbourne. In 2026 alone her music has featured in seven major international productions, including Love Island and Germany's Next Top Model. Her bedroom-recorded EP Eat the Night has earned coverage from GRM Daily, triple j and NME, and on screen she played Bast in Marvel's Thor: Love and Thunder.Akosia shares about her childhood, growing up in church, going five days a week, the identity crisis that hit when she got to Uni, and losing both of her parents. She explains music carried her in her darkest and refining her craft keeps pushing her every day. She is honest about how hard it is to be a Black woman in the Australian music industry, and about why she had to "go outside" (London, Berlin, France) to get recognised at home.The episode also covers GOAT artist lists, dancehall confessions, the mystery of the Instagram share arrow, and how you can spot the haters 👀. It closes with some of the most practical, no-nonsense career advice we've had on the couch.In this episode* 00:00 – Welcome and guest intro, plus spotting Akosia's face on a Priceline campaign on Chapel Street* 03:40 – Why Akosia "deletes" her achievements the moment she reaches them* 04:29 – From Nigeria to Melbourne: a professor dad and church five times a week* 06:00 – Growing up in a strictly Christian bubble, then having her world collapse at uni* 07:13 – A double degree in electrical engineering and science ("Ghanaian parents…")* 07:51 – Where the music started: sitting on her dad's chest while he played guitar* 09:03 – Her sound, which she calls "the love child of Doechii and Charli XCX," and writing Eat the Night as mantras after leaving an abusive relationship* 11:15 – Life is short, so wear the miniskirt* 12:55 – Falling into acting by accident, and why voiceover pays the bills* 15:28 – How being an independent artist works when projects are funded deal by deal* 17:16 – Being a Black woman artist in Australia, and the "gaslighting" of it all* 19:23 – The crossover theory: how Black music became a monolith* 21:47 – African Australian artists you should know, including Sampa the Great, Elsy Wameyo, Thando and Jerome Farah* 24:21 – Where her confidence comes from: her mum's daily Bible mantras* 25:37 – Do artists have to be influencers now?* 28:33 – GOAT lists: Sade, Kendrick, Amy Winehouse, Doja Cat and Doechii from Akosia, then Black Thought, Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu and Stevie Wonder* 33:40 – The ladies picks: Aretha, Bob Marley, dancehall queens, gospel in the car, and Brandy forever* 40:01 – Family expectations versus what your soul wants* 43:40 – Would she move overseas to chase the dream?* 44:48 – Advice for aspiring artists: your first song isn't as good as you think it is* 47:11 – The dream is to buy a house with music money* 48:48 – Breaking into acting: "your career isn't a door, it's bricks"* 52:39 – Does our community actually show up and support?* 53:41 – Hundreds of shares, hardly any likes: the Love Island post* 55:08 – Treating music like a business, and firing what doesn't work* 58:20 – The J word: how do you know someone's jealous of you?* 01:00:36 – What "Akosia" meansStandout moments* "No matter what I do, someone's gonna be annoyed. So why don't I just impress myself?"* "In a thousand years' time, no one's gonna remember us… Please yourself now."* "Your career is not a door, it's bricks. Everything you do is a brick."* "Time under tension builds muscle. You need to write and write and write."* "It's foolishness to do the same thing expecting a different result."* "I am not for everybody, and that's okay."Mentioned in this episode* Akosia's EP Eat the Night and her single "Speechless," produced by Jerome FarahFollow Akosia and stream Eat the Night wherever you get your music.

In this episode, Chiza Westcarr shares her journey from childhood to becoming a menopause and skin health expert. She discusses the importance of gut health, hormonal changes, and holistic approaches to women's wellness during midlife. In this episode, we explore menopause, hormonal health, and lifestyle strategies tailored for women of color. Chiza shares insights on hormone therapy, nutrition, and self-care to navigate this transformative phase with knowledge confidence.

Keywords

menopause, gut health, skin health, hormonal transition, women's wellness, menopause education, holistic health, aging gracefully, menopause symptoms, menopause support menopause, hormonal health, women of color, hormone therapy, nutrition, self-care, inflammation, insulin resistance, gut health, lifestyle

Key topics

The impact of gut health on skin and hormonal balance.

Understanding menopause and perimenopause stages.

Holistic strategies for managing menopause symptoms.

The role of nutrition and lifestyle in aging gracefully.

The importance of education and awareness around menopause.

Menopause and perimenopause symptoms.

Hormone therapy options and safety.

Nutrition and lifestyle interventions.

Inflammation control and gut health.

Insulin resistance and metabolic health.

Self-care and mental well-being.

"Gut health is central to hormonal balance."

"Self-care is essential for navigating menopause."

"Blood tests are not reliable during flux."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Chiza Westcarr and her journey

00:14 Introduction to menopause and health challenges

00:44 Hormone therapy options and misconceptions

00:45 The significance of gut health in women's wellness

01:02 Impact of lifestyle on menopausal symptoms

01:06 Understanding menopause and perimenopause

01:09 Inflammation and its role in aging and disease

01:19 Gut health and its influence on hormones

01:20 The impact of hormonal decline on the body

01:50 Insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome

02:02 Nutrition tips for hormonal balance

02:04 Self-care practices for menopause

02:24 Common menopause symptoms and internal changes

02:33 Addressing mental health and emotional well-being

02:36 Resources and support for women of color

02:38 The role of holistic and regenerative medicine

02:48 Final thoughts and actionable advice

03:03 The importance of support and education for women

03:15 Chisa's personal journey and resilience

03:25 Practical strategies for aging gracefully

03:49 The future of women's health and menopause research

We're back again! This week we're getting into relationships, specifically the "roommate phase”…that stretch where you're functioning as a great team but feeling more like co-parents or housemates than partners. Our resident Couples therapist Jill Dzadey from Freedom Couple Counselling breaks down why this happens (spoiler: it's not just a parenting thing), and puts us through a couple of exercises to see exactly where we land.

We talk about scorekeeping and resentment, date nights vs. “parents weekends," modelling healthy relationships for our kids, and why non-sexual touch might matter more than you think👀. Grab your phone, because you're going to want to do the exercises with us.

In This Episode

• 00:00 – We're back! Welcome to the space
• 00:30 – Why we built this table instead of waiting for a seat
• 03:00 – Meet Jilly: couples therapist, 9 years in private practice
• 05:30 – What is the "roommate phase," really? (and why it's not just about having kids)
• 09:00 – Activity 1: Scroll your texts and see how far back you go before it's not just admin
• 14:00 – The great "what counts as admin" debate
• 16:00 – Activity 2: Roommate Bingo — guilty or not guilty?
• 33:00 – What actually makes each of us feel connected
• 38:00 – Date nights, "clearance weekends," and protecting your time as a couple
• 47:00 – Why your relationship is also a gift you're giving your kids
• 52:00 – Roommate phase vs. just being comfortable — what's the difference?
• 59:00 – Ditching the scorecard and the tit-for-tat trap
• 1:03:00 – Jilly's 3 tips for getting out of the roommate phase
• 1:08:00 – The case for non-sexual touch
• 1:11:00 – Where to find Jilly + her Date Night Kits
• 1:14:00 – Outro

Jill is a couples therapist with 9 years in private practice at Freedom Couple Counselling. She creates Date Night Kits and "love map" question packs for couples including a Date Night Pack made specifically for parents of young kids, built around micro-dates that don't need a babysitter.

📍 Find her: @freedomcouplecounselling, https://freedomcouplecounselling.com/

Quotable Moments

• "There are just some seasons where it's just meant to be that way — the issue isn't that you're there, it's that you're stuck."
• "Your relationship needs a rhythm, just like brushing your teeth."
• "Everything costs you something. If you want connection, it's going to cost you something too."
• "If you show them what happiness truly looks like, they will model that."

Connect With Us

Follow What Left The Group Chat for more real conversations - https://www.whatleftthegroupchat.com/

📸 Instagram: [@whatleftthegroupchat]
🎥 YouTube: [https://www.youtube.com/@Whatleftthegroupchat]
🎧 Spotify/Apple: [https://open.spotify.com/show/5s98euWkQ8VvXL50ZbhsUx]

Got a topic you want us to cover? Drop it in the comments.

In this episode, we explore the importance of rest, challenge cultural and familial norms around productivity, and discuss practical ways to integrate true rest into daily life. If you’ve ever felt guilty for taking a break or wondered how to model rest for your children, this conversation offers insightful reflections and actionable tips.Key topicsThe cultural narrative equating busyness with success and its rootsHow familial and societal models influence perceptions of rest and productivityRest as a fundamental human right, not something to earnThe psychological and emotional impact of guilt and trauma associated with restPractical strategies for incorporating intentional rest into busy schedulesThe importance of modeling healthy rest behaviors for childrenDifferent types of rest: social, creative, physical, and mentalTools and resources for teaching children about the value of restRevisiting traditional roles and expectations of women and how they shape rest behaviorsTimestamps00:00 - Welcome and episode overview: embracing the art of doing nothing01:18 - Introduction of hosts and their diverse backgrounds02:03 - Exploring personal experiences around rest and sickness02:50 - The question: Why do we collectively struggle to sit down?03:27 - The influence of familial sayings about doing versus being04:09 - Rest as resistance and the concept of earning it04:47 - How societal norms and stereotypes reinforce the hustle culture05:44 - Examining gender roles in rest and the cultural expectations for women07:12 - Childhood and familial modeling of rest and work ethic08:20 - The socio-cultural shame around sleeping or taking naps09:40 - Impact of traditional roles on rest and self-care for women10:21 - The importance of modeling rest for children and teaching them to rest differently11:28 - How trauma influences the perception of busyness and exhaustion12:47 - The role of cultural and generational values in shaping work and rest habits14:14 - Interrupting the cycle: the journey towards restful habits and self-care16:33 - Emotional responses to rest, guilt, and shame17:35 - Practical tools: how to pause, check in, and give oneself permission to rest18:25 - Recognizing different forms of rest and their importance19:06 - The importance of intentional rest and the dangers of perpetual exhaustion20:47 - How traditional values inform household responsibilities and gendered expectations22:44 - The balance between cultural norms and modern life realities29:20 - Teaching children to rest and model healthy behaviors for the next generation32:10 - Visualizing the concept of time and where rest fits into busy schedules33:19 - The challenge of finding moments of calm in a hectic day34:32 - Connecting with one’s inner child for restorative moments35:11 - The importance of being mindful of different types of rest36:16 - Practical tips for pausing and resetting during the day42:34 - Committing to a daily practice of rest and recharging43:03 - Closing thoughts: prioritizing rest as a right, not a reward

In this episode, we explore themes of body positivity, hair, beauty standards, and self-love within the context of Black women’s experiences. Mati, Tahj and Jill share personal stories, cultural insights, and practical tips for embracing authenticity and diversity.

Key Topics

Body positivity and self-love

Natural hair journeys and styling

Cultural beauty standards and societal pressures

Impact of media and reality TV on beauty perceptions

Balancing health, confidence, and societal expectations

The role of family and community in body image

Cosmetic surgery and medication: coexistence with self-love

Parenting and body image conversations with children

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Panel Overview

01:55 Personal Updates and Recent Experiences

13:02 Beauty Standards and Hair Stories

27:03 Body Image, Cosmetic Surgery, and Self-Love

45:06 Parenting, Children, and Body Positivity

52:49 Practical Tips for Embracing Your Body

Nobody's Coming to Save You: Life Without Our Village.This week Jill, Mati & Tahj get into the one thing nobody warns you about when you raise a family in the diaspora: doing it all without your village. From the aunties, grandmothers and church family who raised us, to FaceTime grandparents 17 hours away, marriages that have to become a two-person team, and the bittersweet pull of a home that feels further away every day. Zimbabwean 🇿🇼 African American 🇺🇸 Zambian 🇿🇲 , pull up a chair, it's giving group chat.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━IN THIS EPISODE━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━- Why "the village" is about so much more than childcare, it's identity, belonging and autonomy- How raising kids far from family forces a marriage to become a real team ("nobody's coming to save you")- The romanticised village vs. the reality and the autonomy you trade for the help- Parenting gems: "big girl chats" and the mummy–daughter journal- Reframing the mental load as a team meeting, not a personal failure- The ache of FaceTime grandparenting across time zones━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━CHAPTERS━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━0:00 – We're back: Season 2 is here2:51 – Raising a preteen & the questions you're not ready for6:54 – Big girl chats & the mummy–daughter journal11:24 – Tahj's surprise for Reggie14:46 – 4 months off?! Long service leave vs America17:08 – Doing life without our village19:27 – Gogo & the village we grew up with25:38 – Why home still pulls at us27:20 – When it all falls on the two of you29:45 – Marriage back home vs the diaspora33:14 – The FaceTime grandparent struggle40:21 – "Ashy but on time": parenting & timing━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ABOUT THE SHOW━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━What Left the Group Chat is a podcast made by us, for us,three friends in Naarm (Melbourne) talking relationships, culture, motherhood, identity and everything in between, from a diaspora women-of-colour lens. New episodes once a week.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━FOLLOW & LISTEN━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━▶ Subscribe on YouTube: @whatleftthegroupchat🎧 Spotify & Apple Podcasts: "What Left the Group Chat"📱 Instagram & TikTok: @whatleftthegroupchat🌐 http://whatleftthegroupchat.comIf this one hit home, tell us in the comments who your village is, and don't forget to like, subscribe and share with a friend who needs to hear it. 🤍#WhatLeftTheGroupChat #TheVillage #Diaspora #BlackWomenPodcast #Motherhood #Zimbabwean #Zambian #AfricanAmerican #Naarm #MelbournePodcast #Sisterhood #DiasporaDaughters