What do you do when you don't feel love for your spouse? Vibes change like the weather. Vows do not. Recorded live at Power Church in Amarillo, Texas, Angel and Kayla Mendoza sit down with Pastor Aaron and Pastor Shannon for our very first live Vision & Vows.

We talk about roommate seasons in marriage, why our commitment to each other comes only after our commitment to God, and the difference between remorse and repentance. We get into radical honesty and a safe space, the parable of the talents and what happens when we hide the truth, and what it looks like to trust God when His promise does not match the doctor's report, like it did with our son's hearing.

We close with the sovereignty of God, taking your hands off, praying for your spouse instead of about them, and worship.

This week: pray for your spouse, not about them.

Chapters:
00:00 Welcome to the first live Vision & Vows
01:40 Meet Pastor Aaron and Pastor Shannon
02:37 Vibes or vows: what each really means
04:06 When you don't feel anything toward your spouse
07:50 Commitment to God comes before your spouse
11:07 Remorse vs repentance
14:32 Feelings help you find things
19:56 Radical honesty and a safe space
22:42 The parable of the talents: hiding the truth
25:31 When God's promise doesn't feel true
30:01 The sovereignty of God
34:42 The hospital, the flood and the weeds
43:35 Pray for your spouse, then surrender
46:37 Is it worth it? Worship

Recorded live at Power Church, Amarillo, Texas.

Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cOqvu9elmWo
Website: thevisionandvows.com

The enemy has a plan for your kids. He is patient, he is studying them, and when it is time he will shoot the arrow. So how do you pray for your children and fight for your family? In this Christian parenting episode, Angel and Kayla Mendoza share how they pray over their three boys and why parents are the covering.

We waited seven years for our first son. Now with an 8 year old, a 6 year old and a 9 month old, Angel prayed one prayer in January: Lord, give me wisdom to raise these boys. We talk about how the enemy goes after marriages first and then children, generational blessings and curses, and why it is not the church's job to teach your kids the Bible. Church is the add-on. Five minutes of Bible stories at bedtime counts.

We share how God showed us each son: Ezra putting a "Y'all just need Jesus" sign between us in our hardest season, praying for Elijah, our strong willed child (you can be stubborn in either direction), and Ethan's hearing journey, which does not disqualify him from his calling. We close with Psalm 91 and a prayer over your family.

This week: take five minutes one night, read one Bible story with your kids, and pray Psalm 91 over each child by name.

Chapters:
00:00 Welcome and Power Church
01:32 School starts: raising three boys
02:32 Waiting seven years and praying for wisdom
05:44 The enemy goes after marriages, then children
08:33 He is patient and he studies your kids
10:45 Generational blessings and curses
13:14 Bible stories are the parents' job, not the church's
15:48 Y'all just need Jesus
20:12 Take every thought captive
21:39 Pray Psalm 91 over your kids
24:14 Praying for a strong willed child
31:20 Ethan's story
34:13 Every child is God's favorite
37:04 A prayer for your family

Mentioned: Power Church in Amarillo, Texas.

Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/R8wY15toaLM
Website: thevisionandvows.com

Marriage communication is a skill, not a personality trait. In this episode of Vision & Vows, Angel and Kayla talk about the one thing that almost took them out.

They left a steady job, went 100% into Airbnb and short-term rentals, and suddenly found themselves working together 24/7 as husband and wife, boss and employee, business partners and parents. Fourteen years of marriage and a long season of counseling taught them one thing: the walls we build in silence do more damage than any argument.

This conversation breaks down the two walls that divide almost every marriage, unforgiveness and miscommunication, and the tools that saved them years of headache. Whether you are in business with your spouse or just trying to get through a hard conversation without it going from zero to ten, this one is for you.

What we cover

• Why the enemy targets marriages first, and how division becomes his open door
• Nehemiah 4:14 and what it means to fight for your family and your home
• The wall of unforgiveness: offense, past hurts, and the bricks you stack in silence
• The wall of miscommunication: assumptions, mind reading, and performing to be loved
• Why you need a godly, neutral third party, a translator between husband and wife
• What you feed your spirit is what comes out of your mouth
• Comparison, the highlight reel, and why you can't want someone else's marriage
• Intimacy as the mortar that holds your walls together
• Marriage isn't hard, it's work: the rose garden illustration that reframes everything

Five tools that changed our marriage

1. "My heart hurts" — name the pain without throwing it in their face
2. "Put a pin in it" — stop mid-conversation before it escalates
3. Build a safe place — get curious about why you can't talk about it
4. Nobody is a mind reader — ask, and be specific about what you need
5. Intimacy is the mortar — build the wall around your marriage, not between you

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome back to Vision & Vows

00:31 Quitting the job and going 100% Airbnb

01:15 Learning to communicate when you're together 24/7

02:51 What we actually do: short-term rentals, management, flips

04:11 When the husband and wife hats come off

05:50 Nehemiah 4:14, fight for your families and your homes

06:18 The walls that bring division into a marriage

08:07 Why marriages are the target

09:01 Life and death are in the power of the tongue

10:20 Wall 1: Unforgiveness, offense, and past hurts

14:08 Are we a team? Stating the facts that stand as truth

15:54 Why we sought out a godly, neutral third party

19:00 The translator: men and women don't speak the same language

21:49 Bring it into the light, exposure ruins the enemy's plan

23:05 Roommates vs. an actual marriage

24:38 Wall 2: Miscommunication, assumptions, and performing

27:13 Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks

28:51 Open doors: shows, music, social media, pornography

30:36 Every counterfeit the enemy offers you

32:54 Build the wall around your house, intimacy is the mortar

34:16 The sandwich method for hard conversations

35:00 Touchy topics and creating safety

38:03 Writing your team values

39:01 Comparison is a joy robber

40:39 Marriage isn't hard, it's work: the rose garden

42:41 Grief, life pressure, and never neglecting your marriage

43:43 Tip 1: My heart hurts

46:05 Tip 2: Put a pin in it

47:43 Tip 3: Create a safe place

48:54 Tip 4: Nobody is a mind reader

49:32 Tip 5: Intimacy is the mortar

53:06 No playful put-downs, even joking

55:33 Why we give away every gold nugget

58:34 A prayer over your marriage

No marriage is too far gone. If this episode helped you, share it with a couple who needs it.

Vision & Vows is vision for your marriage and honoring God's vows. Real conversations from two imperfect people with a few scars and a few victories.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3u4G0DgT9vY

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