What if the reason you never feel good enough is because you’ve confused what you do with who you are?

In this Extended Edition of Winning the War for Your Heart, Laura Duncan introduces something important to listen for in Brian Freise’s story: how shame can cause us to believe our mistakes, failures, and behaviors define who we are.

Brian, author of Above All Else, shares how his identity became tied to his performance, why failure felt so devastating, and how understanding the difference between what he did and who he was began to change his relationship with shame. Drawing from the story of Adam and Eve, he explores why shame and blame often go hand in hand.

Then Laura returns at the end to unpack why trying harder to be good can actually keep us stuck in shame—and how unconditional self-acceptance and compassion can help us stop hiding, proving, and performing so we can reconnect with who we truly are.

📖 Get Above All Else by Brian Freise:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H1K36LC9?maas=maas_adg_04E4176EE8EDC3B33B9BC1C1A72CB82B_afap_abs&ref_=aa_maas&tag=maas

📩 Get our free Weekly Dose of Compassion — two short videos from Laura each week:
https://www.triggeredandtrue.com/weeklydose

Do you ever close your Bible feeling heavier than when you opened it?

For years, Brian read scripture through a shame lens. The Bible became "one big shame book" — a to-do list for earning God's love — and he walked away weighed down by everything he still had to do. In this episode of Triggered and True, Christian emotional health consultant Laura Duncan and co-host Brian Freise explore how shame quietly shapes the way we read the Bible, hear a sermon, and relate to God — and how to tell the Spirit's conviction from shame's condemnation.

Laura shares what she heard when she asked God how to read the Bible shame-free, why guilt can be healthy when shame never is, and how the Compassion Method helps you notice what a passage actually makes you feel. What you do matters, but you matter more. The Bible was always meant to be a love letter, not a scorecard.

In this episode:
🔹 Why Brian read the Bible as a to-do list for earning love — and what changed when he saw it as a love letter from God
🔹 Conviction vs. condemnation: both hurt, but one leaves you empowered and not alone, while the other just says "try harder" (and why no hope is Brian's dead giveaway that he's triggered)
🔹 Guilt says "I made a mistake"; shame says "who I am is wrong" — plus what Jesus' words to the Pharisees about heavy burdens reveal about shame
🔹 The day Laura's daughter came to the car skipping, even though the bully was still there — and why a hard sermon doesn't have to become who you are, even when it hurts
🔹 A simple, shame-free Bible reading practice: noticing whether you feel helpless, hopeless, trapped, sad, scared, or lonely, and bringing compassion to what you find

Dive deeper with these two great resources! 👇

📕 Get your copy of Brian's book Above All Else: Winning the War for Your Heart Click here to get the book!

📩 Get your free Weekly Dose of Compassion

Two quick notes in your inbox every week. One to speak over yourself. One from Laura: https://www.lauraduncan.com/pl/2148814868

What if the part of you that feels broken isn’t who you really are?

In this Extended Edition of Winning the War for Your Heart, Laura Duncan highlights something important to listen for in Brian Freise’s story: how early in life we can begin believing there’s something wrong with us—and how that belief can shape the way we see ourselves years later.

Brian, author of Above All Else, goes deeper into his own experience of feeling broken and what began to change when he learned to understand his emotional pain differently.

Then Laura returns at the end to unpack why we can mistake our triggered self for our true self—and what it can look like to begin separating who we are from the ways we learned to respond to pain.

📕 Get your copy of Brian's book Above All Else: Winning the War for Your Heart Click here to get the book!