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In case you missed it, I'm reposting this episode because it seems to come up over and over and over. Even if you've listened before, maybe hearing it again will bring fresh light.

Ever say the “right thing” and watch it land the wrong way? We unpack three phrases that sound supportive but often sting—calm down, everything happens for a reason, and let me know if you need anything—and trade them for language that actually regulates, validates, and helps. Drawing on real-world therapy experience, we explain why timing and purpose matter more than perfect wording, and how to align what you say with what the moment needs.

We start by exploring how high emotions change what people can hear. Instead of commanding feelings, we focus on co-regulation and presence: I’m here with you, I hear you, let’s take a breath together. You’ll learn simple de-escalation scripts for anger and anxiety, how to avoid accidentally shaming someone for not being “in control,” and when to keep words minimal and concrete if safety is a concern.

Then we tackle platitudes. Meaning-making has a place, but not at the peak of pain. We share alternatives that invite story and honor timing: that sounds really hard, what else happened, where does it hurt most today. Finally, we replace vague offers with specific, doable help that people can accept without planning energy: I can bring dinner Thursday or Saturday; I’ll text Friday to check in; I can watch the kids for two hours this weekend. These small changes turn good intentions into real support.

If you’re ready to make your words matter for good, press play for clear phrases, practical tools, and a kinder way to show up. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s a natural fixer, and leave a quick review telling us which phrase you’re swapping out this week.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

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www.bethtrammell.com

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Reposting again in case you missed it! These things are common in my practice and everyday clinical encounters. Hoping they resonate for you also. :)

Ever wish a single sentence could lower the volume, keep your boundary, and actually teach a skill? We dig into three phrases nearly every adult has used with kids—“Because I said so,” identity-laced labels, and “There’s no reason to cry”—and offer practical swaps that reduce power struggles while strengthening connection. As a licensed psychologist and professor, I unpack how a child’s brain hears our words, why timing matters more than perfectly crafted lectures, and how short scripts can turn conflict into coaching.

We start by reframing authority with clarity. Instead of relying on blunt power, I show how a brief reason satisfies a child’s need for predictability and how a simple code word agreement creates a shared signal to pause, listen, and follow through. From there, we tackle labels that stick. You’ll learn to replace “You’re acting like a jerk” with I-statements that name your feeling and the impact of the behavior, keeping dignity intact while inviting accountability and empathy.

We also face the tears. Rather than dismissing feelings, we practice validation paired with firm limits: acknowledging emotion without rewarding misbehavior. I share quick language to build emotional vocabulary—sad, embarrassed, hurt—and a calm-down-then-coach rhythm that moves the conversation from meltdown to meaningful repair. Throughout, the focus is on language that teaches, protects the relationship, and makes daily life smoother at home and in the classroom.

If these scripts help, share the episode with a friend who needs a reset, subscribe for more practical psychology, and leave a review with the phrase you plan to swap first. Your words matter—let’s make them work for you.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us a text

The ground under therapy keeps moving, and we’re digging into why. We sit down with returning guest Marie Sloane, LPC, to trace how telehealth became the default, why insurance cuts and clawbacks are reshaping private practice, and what it really costs to keep care accessible without burning clinicians to ash. Marie shares the realities of leaving agency life, navigating panels directly versus using intermediaries, and the surprising leverage you can gain by simply asking for a rate increase. We get candid about the trade-offs of platforms like Alma and Headway, the tension between sustainability and access, and the quiet math behind student loans, healthcare, and the hours a therapist can truly carry.

Then we turn to the culture shift powered by TikTok and social media. Openness is rising and stigma is falling, which can jumpstart meaningful therapy. But there’s a catch: self-diagnosis trends and algorithm-friendly “advice” blur traits with disorders and can worsen compulsions. We talk about how licensed voices can step into the feed with clear, compassionate education—translating buzzwords into grounded care and helping people move from scrolls to sessions.

The heart of this conversation is moral injury. Beyond burnout, it’s the pain of acting against your values—or watching systems do it—because the rules demand it. Teachers triaging classrooms without aides, clinicians pushed to see nine or ten clients a day, frontline staff who lived the pandemic up close while hearing it denied. We name the guilt, shame, and betrayal that follow, and why “do more self-care” falls flat when the workload itself is inhumane. If you’ve felt that strain and wondered what to call it, you’re not alone—and naming it is a step toward changing it.

If this episode resonates, share it with a colleague, subscribe for more real talk on the future of care, and leave a review with the one shift you’d make to improve access and sustainability. Your voice helps shape the system we all rely on.

For more about Marie, check out her website: Marie Sloane: counseling and consulting services – Online Therapy for People in Arizona, Texas and Minnesota

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com