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In case you missed it, I'm reposting this episode because it seems to come up over and over and over. Even if you've listened before, maybe hearing it again will bring fresh light.

Ever say the “right thing” and watch it land the wrong way? We unpack three phrases that sound supportive but often sting—calm down, everything happens for a reason, and let me know if you need anything—and trade them for language that actually regulates, validates, and helps. Drawing on real-world therapy experience, we explain why timing and purpose matter more than perfect wording, and how to align what you say with what the moment needs.

We start by exploring how high emotions change what people can hear. Instead of commanding feelings, we focus on co-regulation and presence: I’m here with you, I hear you, let’s take a breath together. You’ll learn simple de-escalation scripts for anger and anxiety, how to avoid accidentally shaming someone for not being “in control,” and when to keep words minimal and concrete if safety is a concern.

Then we tackle platitudes. Meaning-making has a place, but not at the peak of pain. We share alternatives that invite story and honor timing: that sounds really hard, what else happened, where does it hurt most today. Finally, we replace vague offers with specific, doable help that people can accept without planning energy: I can bring dinner Thursday or Saturday; I’ll text Friday to check in; I can watch the kids for two hours this weekend. These small changes turn good intentions into real support.

If you’re ready to make your words matter for good, press play for clear phrases, practical tools, and a kinder way to show up. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s a natural fixer, and leave a quick review telling us which phrase you’re swapping out this week.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

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Reposting again in case you missed it! These things are common in my practice and everyday clinical encounters. Hoping they resonate for you also. :)

Ever wish a single sentence could lower the volume, keep your boundary, and actually teach a skill? We dig into three phrases nearly every adult has used with kids—“Because I said so,” identity-laced labels, and “There’s no reason to cry”—and offer practical swaps that reduce power struggles while strengthening connection. As a licensed psychologist and professor, I unpack how a child’s brain hears our words, why timing matters more than perfectly crafted lectures, and how short scripts can turn conflict into coaching.

We start by reframing authority with clarity. Instead of relying on blunt power, I show how a brief reason satisfies a child’s need for predictability and how a simple code word agreement creates a shared signal to pause, listen, and follow through. From there, we tackle labels that stick. You’ll learn to replace “You’re acting like a jerk” with I-statements that name your feeling and the impact of the behavior, keeping dignity intact while inviting accountability and empathy.

We also face the tears. Rather than dismissing feelings, we practice validation paired with firm limits: acknowledging emotion without rewarding misbehavior. I share quick language to build emotional vocabulary—sad, embarrassed, hurt—and a calm-down-then-coach rhythm that moves the conversation from meltdown to meaningful repair. Throughout, the focus is on language that teaches, protects the relationship, and makes daily life smoother at home and in the classroom.

If these scripts help, share the episode with a friend who needs a reset, subscribe for more practical psychology, and leave a review with the phrase you plan to swap first. Your words matter—let’s make them work for you.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

Support the show

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The ground under therapy keeps moving, and we’re digging into why. We sit down with returning guest Marie Sloane, LPC, to trace how telehealth became the default, why insurance cuts and clawbacks are reshaping private practice, and what it really costs to keep care accessible without burning clinicians to ash. Marie shares the realities of leaving agency life, navigating panels directly versus using intermediaries, and the surprising leverage you can gain by simply asking for a rate increase. We get candid about the trade-offs of platforms like Alma and Headway, the tension between sustainability and access, and the quiet math behind student loans, healthcare, and the hours a therapist can truly carry.

Then we turn to the culture shift powered by TikTok and social media. Openness is rising and stigma is falling, which can jumpstart meaningful therapy. But there’s a catch: self-diagnosis trends and algorithm-friendly “advice” blur traits with disorders and can worsen compulsions. We talk about how licensed voices can step into the feed with clear, compassionate education—translating buzzwords into grounded care and helping people move from scrolls to sessions.

The heart of this conversation is moral injury. Beyond burnout, it’s the pain of acting against your values—or watching systems do it—because the rules demand it. Teachers triaging classrooms without aides, clinicians pushed to see nine or ten clients a day, frontline staff who lived the pandemic up close while hearing it denied. We name the guilt, shame, and betrayal that follow, and why “do more self-care” falls flat when the workload itself is inhumane. If you’ve felt that strain and wondered what to call it, you’re not alone—and naming it is a step toward changing it.

If this episode resonates, share it with a colleague, subscribe for more real talk on the future of care, and leave a review with the one shift you’d make to improve access and sustainability. Your voice helps shape the system we all rely on.

For more about Marie, check out her website: Marie Sloane: counseling and consulting services – Online Therapy for People in Arizona, Texas and Minnesota

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

Support the show

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What if your teen can name every mental health term on TikTok but still freezes when big feelings hit? We dig into that gap between awareness and coping, sharing how parents can move from fear or frustration to calm, right‑sized responses that keep communication open. You’ll hear practical language for starting hard conversations about anxiety, depression, and suicide without causing panic, plus a simple framework for spotting when your reaction comes from your child’s behavior versus your own history or comparison.

We also shift to the preschool years to rethink timeouts. Yes, they can stop behavior in the moment, but interruption isn’t education. We break down how regulation comes first—ours and theirs—and why teaching works best after the storm has passed. Expect concrete alternatives you can try today: time‑in for co‑regulation, choices with limits that preserve safety and autonomy, and do‑overs that build replacement skills like asking, pausing, and repairing. These tools help little kids feel seen and capable while reducing the daily tug‑of‑war.

Along the way, we preview new episodes featuring conversations on chronic illness, the concept of overfunctioning, and the shifts reshaping the therapy field. If you want the full workshop audio, email Beth@ MakeWordsMatterforgood.com with “audio for teen session number one,” and check the site’s upcoming events for the next free sessions on screens, motivation, school, and big feelings. If this conversation helps, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs support today, and leave a quick review to help others find us.

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Two parenting seasons, one throughline: regulation before strategy. We dive into the real-world challenges parents face with young kids and teens, unpacking why tantrums are developmentally normal, how to coach emotions without fueling the fire, and the science-backed way to get better listening without repeating yourself a hundred times. If you’ve ever wondered what to say when a child shouts “I hate you” or how to stop a power struggle before it begins, you’ll find practical language you can use today.

We start with early childhood: how to keep your cool during meltdowns, use effective instruction delivery to boost cooperation, and teach sharing, turn-taking, and conflict repair without over-coaching. You’ll learn why “calm down” backfires, how to match expectations to developmental level, and when stepping back actually speeds social learning among peers. The goal isn’t to eliminate big feelings; it’s to build a calm nervous system in you and a growing skill set in your child.

Then we shift to adolescence, where emotions run hot and connection can feel distant. We talk about granting space in the moment, returning to tough topics when everyone’s regulated, and setting clear boundaries that support independence. You’ll hear concrete ways to explain curfews and consequences, avoid win-lose standoffs, and open ongoing conversations about anxiety, depression, and stress. Worried about self-harm? We model how to ask directly and why that question can be life-giving. Throughout, we keep the focus on relationship, clarity, and timing—three levers that quietly transform daily conflict into teachable moments.

If this episode hits home, share it with a friend, subscribe for more conversations like this, and leave a review with the tip you’re trying first. Your feedback helps other parents find the tools they need.

To register for January's preschool session: Why ‘Time-Outs’ Don’t Work (and What to Do Instead) complete this form: https://forms.gle/G4fRAJhQksZzD5CB6

To register for January's teen session: Supporting Mental Health Without Overreacting or Underreacting complete this form: https://forms.gle/DLntY1V1XvvkxCC19

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This is a throwback episode that I will probably always post around this time because I always need this reminder!! Hope you enjoy this conversation around New Year's resolutions!

Want to transform the way you view New Year's resolutions? Join us for an enlightening conversation with Dr. Michael Alcée, who returns to share his captivating insights into the tradition of setting annual goals. Dr. Alcée helps us navigate the emotional rollercoaster of resolutions, from the excitement of self-improvement to the weight of societal expectations. Get ready to rethink your approach with fresh perspectives on blending self-acceptance and growth. We'll explore how the rigidity of conventional resolutions might stifle creativity and discover ways to harmonize the enthusiasts and skeptics among us.

Amidst discussions on SMART goals and the cultural phenomenon of "Quitter's Day," Dr. Alcée invites us to embrace a mindset filled with playfulness and curiosity. Imagine resolutions as an ever-evolving journey rather than a strict deadline. Together, we reevaluate the traditional calendar-bound mindset, celebrating the essence of continuous personal development. By the end, you'll learn how high achievers find fulfillment in the process itself, leading to sustained innovation and success. Prepare to leave this episode with renewed motivation and a fresh perspective on how to craft resolutions that truly resonate with your unique rhythm and needs.

Michael Alcée, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Tarrytown, NY and Mental Health Educator at Manhattan School of Music. He specializes in the psychology of artists and everyday creativity and the professional development of therapists. His contributions have appeared in The Chicago Tribune, The New York Times, The New York Post, NPR, Salon.com, and on the TEDx stage. His book from Norton entitled Therapeutic Improvisation: How to Stop Winging It and Own It as a Therapist is available wherever books are sold.

Book Link

Therapeutic Improvisation

Website

https://michaelalcee.com/



This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us a text

New year hype can feel loud, heavy, and strangely hollow. But what if we went a different way: rather than chasing a brand-new identity, we explored how to uncover the version of you that’s already here—and make choices that protect it. That shift—from “I must become better” to “Better is already here; I will clear space for it”—changes how resolutions feel and how long they last.

We break down the hidden math of decisions: every yes contains a no. When you say yes to scrolling, you may be saying no to meal prep, connection, or sleep. Naming these quiet tradeoffs turns autopilot into intention, without shame. We also tackle the comparison trap that thrives on social media, the pressure to make goals “Instagrammable,” and why true change often looks boring from the outside. The conversation moves toward boundaries and aligned commitments: fewer automatic obligations, more deliberate yeses that return you to yourself.

If you’re ready to trade pressure for presence and craft habits that survive past January, this one’s for you. Listen, reflect, and then tell us what you’ll say yes to this week. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a gentler reset, and leave a quick review to help more people find the show.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us a text

Today is about rest. Presence. Enjoyment. Love.

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