What makes a man emotionally unavailable? And what does it take to change that? In this episode, Tim Tedder sits down with Jason Lange, a men's coach and group facilitator, to explore one of the most underaddressed dimensions of relationship healing: the inner world of men.

Jason draws on his own journey to explain how many men enter adulthood without two fundamental skills: self-awareness and the ability to communicate what they feel. The cultural script of masculinity, built around stoicism, self-reliance, and the suppression of vulnerability, doesn't just leave men emotionally isolated. It quietly undermines their capacity for the kind of intimacy that healthy relationships require.

The conversation moves naturally into the territory of infidelity, not just as a relationship crisis, but as a symptom of deeper unmet needs and undeveloped skills. Jason shares what he consistently sees in men on both sides of betrayal: those who cheated often lacked the ability to communicate what was missing or to set honest boundaries; those who were cheated on often struggle to understand their own role in the relational disconnect that developed over time.

But this episode is bigger than infidelity. Jason makes a compelling case for why every man should be in a men's group—not just men in crisis, but any man who wants to grow. Men's groups offer something rare: a structured, accountable community where men learn to connect with their own bodies and emotional lives, practice difficult conversations, and receive honest feedback without shame. As male loneliness continues to rise, Jason argues that this kind of relational infrastructure isn't a luxury; it's essential.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/058

Jason Lang’s Website: https://evolutionary.men

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The hardest part of healing isn't the moment you decide to forgive. It's every ordinary moment after that—the birthday parties, the graduations, the holidays—where you choose it again and again.

In this final episode of A Conversation with My Ex, Tim and Konnie talk about the relationship they've built in the years since their divorce. It hasn't been without struggle. There have been seasons of tension, moments of hurt, and the ongoing challenge of staying cooperative when old wounds made that feel unreasonable. But they kept choosing it for their children, and for themselves.

Their children speak in this episode, too. Now adults with families of their own, they share what it has meant to grow up watching two people refuse to let the worst chapter of their family's story become the defining one. Their children and their grandchildren are growing up knowing the full story and witnessing firsthand what genuine healing can produce. Konnie also shares that the cooperative, caring relationship she and Tim have built is one her current husband not only knows about but fully supports.

This episode is a true account of what becomes possible when two people decide that their shared future matters more than their painful past.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episode Page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/057

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Affairs often have multiple victims. This episode gives voice to some of them.

Tim and Konnie's story has been told, in their own words, across two honest episodes. But there were others in that story, too. Five children who didn't choose what happened, didn't cause it, and couldn't stop it, but who carried it nonetheless, each in their own way.

In this bonus episode, released before the final conversation between Tim and Konnie, two of those children speak. Their oldest son and youngest daughter offer their own perspective on what it was like to grow up through their father’s affair, the divorce, and everything that followed. They weren't coached toward a particular conclusion. They were simply invited to be honest.

Their perspectives are windows into the experiences of children who had no say in the story they were handed, and into what it took to find their footing within it.

If you are a parent who has put your children through something like this, listen carefully. This one is for you.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/056

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In this second episode of A Conversation with My Ex, Tim Tedder and his ex-wife Konnie talk about the disclosure of Tim's affair—first the partial truth, then the full confession he chose to make a week later.

What followed was one of the most revealing stretches of their marriage: Konnie processing devastating grief while Tim watched, emotionally unreachable, from somewhere he couldn't explain. They tried. They stayed under the same roof for months, attempting repairs neither of them was fully equipped to make. And then, it was a misunderstanding that became the excuse for choices that would unravel their marriage.

This episode doesn't soften their hard history, but it also doesn't leave you without hope. Two people talking this honestly about this much pain, with this much respect for each other, is its own kind of evidence that something worthwhile survived.

I SHOULD FEEL SOMETHING (song lyrics)
©2025 Tim Tedder

I know I did this
, I know this mess is mine
You fall to your knees while I make my stand
I know I loved you so I should feel something
But your eyes flood while mine fill with sand

I feel nothing
I feel nothing

Pain shatters all around me
I feel nothing

Your heart’s broken
You scream out my name, I feel nothing
Except the shame

I should say something, I should tell you we’ll be fine
You cry for answers, I make you guess
I sing songs so words should come easy
But you strain for music while my song’s at rest

I feel nothing
I feel nothing

Pain shatters all around me
I feel nothing

Your heart’s broken
You scream out my name, I feel nothing
Except the shame

Where is the man who swore he would hold you?
Where is the man with love gone wild?
He would be covering you like a champion
He would be comforting you like a child

I feel nothing
I feel nothing

Pain shatters all around me
I feel nothing

Your heart’s broken
You scream out my name, I feel nothing
Except the shame

My fist holds tight the seeds of regret
Someday I might plant them, but I’m not ready yet

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episode Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/055

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In this first episode of A Conversation with My Ex, Tim Tedder sits down with Konnie, his ex-wife, for an honest, unhurried look at the relationship they built and the choices that dismantled it. They talk about meeting in college, the early years of their relationship, the slow accumulation of disconnection, and the affair that brought everything into the open.

What you won't find here is score-settling. What you will find is two people who have done the hard work of processing their shared history—separately and together—and are now able to speak about it with a candor that is rare and, at times, disarming.

This episode doesn't ask you to take sides. It asks you to consider what's possible when injury doesn't get the final word.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/054

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Want to be a guest on The Affair Recovery Room? Send Tim Tedder a message on PodMatch.

The common explanation for why affairs happen is usually a marriage story: we grew apart, I felt neglected, something was missing. And sometimes those things are true. But they're rarely the whole story.

In this episode, Tim talks with Kayla Crane, a licensed therapist specializing in inner child work and trauma, about the childhood roots of adult behavior — and what that has to do with infidelity. They explore how the adaptive patterns we developed early in life don't disappear when we grow up. They go underground. And in the stress of a marriage, they resurface in ways we don't always recognize — sometimes driving us toward betrayal, sometimes making it nearly impossible to heal from one.

If you've ever sensed that the "why" of the affair (and reactions to it) runs deeper than what's on the surface, this episode is worth your time.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/053

Kayla Crane’s Website: SouthDenverTherapy.com

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Want to be a guest on The Affair Recovery Room? Send Tim Tedder a message on PodMatch.

Porn addiction doesn’t usually start in an overwhelming rush. It starts quietly—a habit that feels manageable, maybe even harmless. But over time, it rewires the way we experience desire, connection, and satisfaction with a gradual subtleness that’s hard to see until the damage is already done.

In this episode, I talk with Jeremy Lipkowitz, founder of the Unhooked Academy and host of the Unhooked podcast. Jeremy brings both personal experience and professional insight to this conversation. His own struggle with porn addiction began in adolescence and escalated through college into a daily habit that left him objectifying women, bored with real relationships, and searching for a contentment he couldn't find on a screen.

What eventually led Jeremy out wasn't willpower or better barriers. It was a deeper internal shift that came through Buddhist philosophy, mindfulness, and meditation. And what he discovered along the way became the foundation for the work he now does with helping others get free.

We talk about what actually defines addiction, the shame cycle that keeps it hidden, how porn quietly sabotages real intimacy and connection, and why community matters more than most people realize when you're trying to break free.

If porn has been a presence in your relationship, whether as a personal struggle or a betrayal, this conversation is worth your time.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episoded Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/052

Jeremy Lipkowitz’s site: UnhookedAcademy.com

Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change.

Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

Want to be a guest on The Affair Recovery Room? Send Tim Tedder a message on PodMatch.

Healing after betrayal is not a moment. It's not a decision you make once and then move forward from. It's a process, and for most people, it's longer, harder, and more layered than anything they could have imagined at the beginning.

Michelle knows that. She lived it. She wrote about it. And now she’s talking about it with us.

In part two of this conversation, Michelle picks up where episode one left off, moving from the breakdown that marked her lowest point into the slow, deliberate work of rebuilding. She talks about choosing herself, maybe for the first time in her life. Learning to set boundaries not as walls, but as a foundation for something more honest and more peaceful than she had known before. She talks about what intimacy looked like as it found its way back into her marriage, raw and confusing at first, and eventually something she describes as beautiful.

And she talks about her husband. What he did differently. The mental health work he committed to. The accountability that slowly began to rebuild trust with Michelle and with their children. And what their marriage looks like today, a second marriage, she calls it, built on honesty and vulnerability and a kind of peace she didn't think was possible for them.

Michelle is not here to tell you what to do. She's not holding her outcome up as the goal. She's just telling the truth about what healing looked like for her, and trusting that somewhere in that truth, you'll find something that helps you.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episode Page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/051

Rising Phoenix Free eBook: AffairHealing.com/rising

Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change.

Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

Want to be a guest on The Affair Recovery Room? Send Tim Tedder a message on PodMatch.