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Tim Tedder sits down with psychologist Bruce Chalmer, a longtime couples therapist who helps partners navigate betrayal, conflict, and change. Bruce shares why he sees infidelity not only as a crisis, but as a powerful turning point for learning, meaning, and growth.

A central theme of the conversation is Dr. Chalmer’s understanding of faith—not as religious doctrine, but as a mindset that accepts reality as it is and remains open to meaning even in pain. He explains how this orientation helps couples move beyond the desperate wish to “go back to how things were” and instead face the deeper questions betrayal raises. Tim and Bruce explore how rigid beliefs can sometimes block healing, while curiosity and humility open the door to transformation.

The conversation also touches on forgiveness, grief, and the tension every relationship faces between stability and intimacy. Bruce outlines his three-step view of forgiveness and clarifies what forgiveness is—and is not. He also introduces ideas from his book The Passion Paradox, which examines how real intimacy requires tolerating uncertainty, especially after betrayal. This episode offers a steady, compassionate framework for anyone trying to make sense of infidelity without rushing toward easy answers.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Dr. Chalmer’s Website: brucechalmer.com

Dr. Chalmer’s Book: The Passion Paradox

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As an author and therapist specializing in affair recovery, Linda MacDonald never imagined she would face the very crisis she had spent years helping others survive. But when she discovered her husband’s affair—and then heard him say he wanted a divorce—she found herself living the double trauma of betrayal and abandonment.

In her book Redeeming the Post-Affair Divorce, Linda writes candidly about that painful season, the unraveling that followed, and her gradual return to healing and faith. In this podcast episode, Tim Tedder talks with Linda about her journey and what she hopes others might discover for themselves along the way.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Free Bonus Resources from Linda: lindajmacdonald.com/free

Book: Redeeming the Post-Affair Divorce by Linda MacDonald. (See Tim’s review.)

Book: How To Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair by Linda MacDonald.

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Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.