Melissa and David are fresh off a Sunday where they served all three church services, split a Whopper for lunch to save money, and then got a call from Remi who had just eaten $40 worth of crawfish and accidentally ordered market price on top of it. The sweet part: David had secretly hidden $40 in her car glove box for exactly this kind of moment.

This episode goes a lot of places. Melissa shares her lifelong habit of mentally captioning cows in pastures for an imaginary calendar she has called the Cowlander. A real news story about a woman who walked away from her family at a Virginia Christmas market in 2001 and was found living under a new name 24 years later sends Melissa and David into a full conversation about escapism, intrusive thoughts, and whether every woman has at least once thought about just getting out. The sketch segment ends with David and Melissa acting out how each of them orders at a Mexican restaurant, and it is extremely accurate.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“Every time we drive by a pasture that has cows, I take a snapshot for a calendar. In my head. It’s called the Cowlander. I thought of that in the fifth grade.”

Melissa, revealing a lifelong habit David apparently did not know about

“She left. She never returned. Her car was never found. And I’m just sweating in my pits about this.”

Melissa, on the woman who walked away from her family at a Christmas market in 2001

LINKS MENTIONED

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

Become a paid subscriber to Stretch Marks and get:

• Weekday POV Audio Messages

• Twice-monthly We’re Here for You Wednesday advice podcasts

• Monthly paid-only posts

• Community access for real conversation

Subscribe for $9/month or $90/year: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

SHOW NOTES

Melissa showed up to EP 61 fresh off a Botox appointment, a little bruised and entirely unapologetic about it. She is not one of those influencers who won’t tell you what she’s had done. Never has been, never will be.

This episode has a little bit of everything. Melissa’s mom is convinced something shady is going on between Lisa Rinna and QVC. There’s a viral video out of Thailand showing plus size women’s clothing stores with names like Love Calories, You’re a Chubby, Fat Beauty, and Pink Piggy, and Melissa and David can barely hold it together. The Would You Rather segment gets personal fast, including the time Melissa passed the eggs at her parent’s house the very first time David visited. And to close it out, Melissa’s TikTok Shop cart sits at $771 and she is defending every single item.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“I am not one of those influencers who doesn’t want you to know if I do Botox. I just got Botox in my face day before yesterday.” — Melissa, opening the episode with her whole chest

“Where did you get that outfit, ma’am? I got that at the Pink Piggy shop. You have to shop at Pink Piggy. I do, I have to shop at Pink Piggy.” — Melissa, barely keeping it together

LINKS MENTIONED

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: https://bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

👋 ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

Become a paid subscriber to Stretch Marks and get:

* Weekday POV Audio Messages

* Twice-monthly We’re Here for You Wednesday advice podcasts

* Monthly paid-only posts

* Community access for real conversation

👉 Subscribe for $9/month or $90/year: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

Melissa and David are back from Fayetteville, where they spent Valentine’s weekend with their college daughter Remi — and yes, Shep got them kicked out of the hotel. Classic.

But before the chaos, there was something genuinely sweet: Remi chose a new church, said one thing to Melissa on the way home, and completely stopped her in her tracks.

This episode covers all of it. Rocco volunteered as a buddy at Night to Shine, a prom for special needs adults put on by the Tim Tebow Foundation, and turned out to be the youngest buddy there and an absolute rock star. Remi told her parents exactly what she needs from a church and what she doesn’t. Then things take a sharp left turn into beige flag territory, Melissa confesses she will never courtesy flush, and David’s belt has been making noise for years and he just doesn’t care. Rounding it all out: the Winter Olympics, Lindsey Vonn’s torn ACL, and the news that the Olympic Village has already run out of condoms. There’s a lot going on.

“My name is Michael. I don’t like questions.”

— Rocco’s Night to Shine buddy, as reported by Rocco (who asks a lot of questions)

“I’m not going to do a courtesy flush. I want to go in there and do my business like they did in the 50s.”

— Melissa, with zero apologies

LINKS MENTIONED📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack → bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements → https://bit.ly/beautifulyu📖 Melissa's Book — Chicken-Fried Women → bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomenAlso Mentioned This Episode🎟️ Night to Shine (Tim Tebow Foundation) → timtebowfoundation.org/nighttoshine🎬 "Eternity" — Apple TV (recommended by Melissa & Remi, watched Valentine's night)🎬 "Send Help" — in theaters (the movie they tried to see before the dog situation)WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE📺 YouTube → bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube🎧 Apple Podcasts → bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple🎧 Spotify → bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotifyFOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE📱 Instagram — @TheRadkeShow → bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram📘 Facebook — The Radkes → bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack → bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack👋 Are You Ready to Become an Insider?Become a paid subscriber to Stretch Marks and get:• Weekday POV Audio Messages• Twice-monthly We're Here for You Wednesday advice podcasts• Monthly paid-only posts• Community access for real conversation👉 Subscribe for $9/month or $90/year → bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack