Melissa and David are fresh off a Sunday where they served all three church services, split a Whopper for lunch to save money, and then got a call from Remi who had just eaten $40 worth of crawfish and accidentally ordered market price on top of it. The sweet part: David had secretly hidden $40 in her car glove box for exactly this kind of moment.

This episode goes a lot of places. Melissa shares her lifelong habit of mentally captioning cows in pastures for an imaginary calendar she has called the Cowlander. A real news story about a woman who walked away from her family at a Virginia Christmas market in 2001 and was found living under a new name 24 years later sends Melissa and David into a full conversation about escapism, intrusive thoughts, and whether every woman has at least once thought about just getting out. The sketch segment ends with David and Melissa acting out how each of them orders at a Mexican restaurant, and it is extremely accurate.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“Every time we drive by a pasture that has cows, I take a snapshot for a calendar. In my head. It’s called the Cowlander. I thought of that in the fifth grade.”

Melissa, revealing a lifelong habit David apparently did not know about

“She left. She never returned. Her car was never found. And I’m just sweating in my pits about this.”

Melissa, on the woman who walked away from her family at a Christmas market in 2001

LINKS MENTIONED

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📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

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